Dear future football stars: The NFL is about to destroy your life.
"After negotiating your contracts, you both will surely buy a house in an affluent suburb where no 22-year-old would be happy living. Your new neighbors will be rich as well, facelifted, lipo-sucked, Xanaxed and dripping in diamonds, simply delighted to welcome you to the neighborhood." 2012.04.30
Poor raw brussels sprouts are just not getting the love they deserve which is why you should make this tonight
. Don't argue with me. 2012.04.30
15 fun birthday cake (and cupcake) recipes.
It's a good thing I never had a sweet tooth or I'D BE 300 lbs. 2012.04.30
Batman inserted DrawSomethings.
Holy crap I need to do this with My Little Pony! 2012.04.30
New trailer for 'Prometheus' with massive new footage!
How am I gonna last another month until this comes out?!? 2012.04.30
6 yummy dinners featuring asparagus.
TO DO this week: make a dinner featuring asparagus. 2012.04.30
Apartment living has its pros and cons, summer grilling season err'ing on the side of a heeeeee-youge con. I miss grilled food so much! That's why today I bought one of these
. Did I mention there's no ventilation in my unit? Yeah! This will be fun. Luckily I have a major thing for firefighters. 2012.04.29
The live Jack White thing, directed by Gary Oldman.
Jack White and Gary Oldman get in a fight for my undying love & affection: who wins? While it's surely the closest of calls I gotta give Oldman the edge. /fantasy 2012.04.28
My Game of Thronies
, and other perfect Thrones mashups. 2012.04.27
A fetus is not a person but a pregnant woman sure as hell is.
"These groups are more concerned with protecting a not-person than they are an actual person: the mother." 2012.04.27
Don't show my cats! 2012.04.27
You should get this for your iPhone. No Android version, OF COURSE. 2012.04.26
Fuuuuck I want a piece, like maybe this one
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but then I put on my favorite Britney Spears album and read this tumblr. Things are turning around now. 2012.04.26
Who invited the herbivore?
I still love this tee. 2012.04.25
Blogging about food could get you shut down...in N.C.
News alert: it's 2012 and there are still people who don't get the internet. 2012.04.25
Pizza Hut adds cheeseburgers to the crust.
In unrelated news, healthy menu options still non-existent. 2012.04.24
Google Drive launches.
5 GB free, and Gmail goes up to 10GB free. 2012.04.24
Book review: Let Them Eat Vegan!
Jeez. Several of those recipes sound really
I do this thing a couple times a year where I make a music mix and share it with my peeps. And because there's like 3 of you left reading this website, you too can download my Spring 2012 mix
. Limited time only. Enjoy! 2012.04.24
"Last night on The Voice, Adam Levine had a plan. It was a crazy plan.
Contestant Tony Lucca had made it to the quarter finals with a sort of gently burly masculinity that came out in songs like "In Your Eyes" and "Beautiful Day," but judge Christina Aguilera remained unmoved. Considering that she and Lucca spent time in the trenches together on The All New Mickey Mouse Club in the mid-1990s, this was a problem." I want to not watch this show but ugh, I TOTALLY AM. 2012.04.24
Someone told me this was good and I can't remember who that is. I wish someone I knew would try it and get back to me. Kthx in advance. 2012.04.24
"Facts held on for several days after that assault -- brought on without a scrap of evidence or reason -- before expiring peacefully at its home in a high school physics book. Facts was 2,372." 2012.04.23
Finally: a reason to learn how to embroider.
These are the best thing I've seen all week! Granted, it's Monday, but they're just that good! 2012.04.23
Coffee-shop jargon: 'Dialing in.'
"Have you stood watching with vague horror as a barista pulled several shots in a row only to discard them? Have you ever wanted to grab said barista by the shoulders and shout, "What are you doing with all of this coffee, and where is my espresso?!" Don't worry--there's probably a method to the madness." 2012.04.23
New children's book "Vegan is Love" just pissing off er'ebody!
First) if you don't agree with it, don't buy it. Jesus. Second) nothing in this book is false. Your meat does
come from a farm where animals are treated inhumanely and then killed. Third) it is
important to teach your children that knowing where your food comes from is something. 2012.04.20
Video: How I made 'Blunderbuss'
by Jack White. ...... I die. 2012.04.20
Also listening to: First Aid Kit "The Lions Roar"
. Worth mentioning. 2012.04.19
An honest trailer for 'Titanic 3D'.
The only thing better than this is maybe this
Misinformed columnist says Ann Romney should be a feminist role-model for marrying rich.
Fuckin' hell, you mean I've just been doing it wrong this whole time? What was I thinking being a single, independent, childless, working 30-something woman?!? 2012.04.18
RDJ for Esquire.
Fuuuuuuuuuck this is good. 2012.04.18
How Fark's Drew Curtis fought a patent troll.
"Don't negotiate with terrorists." 2012.04.17
Hey, all you engaged ladies out there!!!
"Now that you've found the love of your life and have tricked him into buying you a conflict diamond, it's time for you to focus on the next step in your life: becoming insufferable, and gradually completely unhinged as you prepare for your big, important Princess Day!" 2012.04.16
Banned from Kickstarter for being a stalking victim.
Horrifying. Shame on you, Kickstarter. If that woman was Dooce things would be very different. 2012.04.16
Which fictional character shares your birthday?
Belle Black from Days of Our Lives?! A couple days earlier and it could have been Liz Lemon! 2012.04.15
Local news anchor dozes during segment.
Haha, how can you not love the Perk? 2012.04.13
In defense of Skrillex.
Yeah! "Skrillex, see, knows what he's doing. He does what great DJs do: He layers sounds and ideas on top of each other, building tension and releasing it, moving fluidly from one thing to the next." 2012.04.12
Dressing up carrot cake.
Jesus, what a good idea. I totally need to make carrot cake next week. 2012.04.12
Older man reviews 'Fifty Shades of Grey.'
"My arthritis flared up reading about the sexual gymnastics ... Soon, however, Ana's endless pyrotechnic climaxes resembled repetitively watching porn: after a while, it leaves me bored and yawning." 2012.04.12
Awkward engagement photos.
It's official: I'm never getting married. 2012.04.12
Push to add drama.
Okay, that right there is good marketing. 2012.04.12
Texts from my dog.
Ok, a few of these made me LOL. 2012.04.10
How to whistle with your fingers.
Some day when I'm not at work I'll practice this. 2012.04.09
Tips for traveling from an experienced travler.
Bring your own doorstop? Huh. I've done
tons of traveling and this one never occurred to me, but it is sort of brilliant! 2012.04.09
Facebook just bought Instagram for $1 billion dollars.
Hahahahaha ha ha ha ha ho ho ha ha heee hee .... hoooo. One billion. That's funny! 2012.04.09
Amazon is having a huge sale on video games.
For PC *and* MAC. Finally nabbed those Dragon Ages I'd been holding out for! 2012.04.08
When I eat twice as much as my boyfriend...
Back from my vacation and spending my time reading blogs that crack me up. This actually made me laugh out loud. 2012.04.07
Penzeys Fox Point seasoning.
My new favorite thing at Penzeys. 2012.04.07