My cat is either begging for a new home or an ass-beating. Right now I'm 50/50 on which one it will be, seriously, as I'm pretty sure the ass-beating will give me more pleasure but may result in a visit to the police station. And if only orange were more my color I would have already made my decision and wouldn't be sitting here like a complete schmuck blogging about his sassyness. I can almost guarandarntee that right now the little fucker is kicking back with a stiff drink, making long distance phone calls, and laughing his well groomed, fuzzy little booty off about this latest antic.
Indigo Sassypants is a dog born in cat body, for real. When I'm home he plays fetch and eats popcorn. When I'm not home he plays with his doggy toys and runs around the house looking for anything to shred. "What's this, bra strap? I LOVE BRA STRAP!!! *chomp chomp chomp*" Why does he do this? Because the $5000 dollars I've spent in kitty toys JUST DOESN'T CUT IT. "Kitty condos are for bitches, yo."
His sassyness mocks me, truly.
Last night he crossed the line and has entered movie-of-the-week territory. Imagine my horror when I came home to find that my cat - MY SWEET LITTLE INDIGO PUMPKINHEAD - had gone INTO the bathroom trashcan, pulled out one of my *ah hem* feminine hygiene products, and proceeded to bat it around the apartment like I left it there just for his enjoyment. Ha ha ha, yeah not really that funny. Not even a little. Especially since his playful escapade climaxed the moment he SHOVED IT UNDER THE FRONT DOOR, right in to the middle of the hallway for god and everybody in my apartment building to behold.
I decided to stay in my apartment for a few more months, but this "incident" pretty much means I won't be showing my well-shrouded face around the building for the next 24 hours.. at which point I will be the one wearing big, dark sunglasses, a long black hood, and quietly moving my meowie kitten and his shit to our new abode in the middle of the night.
*sigh*
Comments
Sooo funny. Our cat has a similar hobby of dumpster diving and is particularly fond of q-tips. . .
That is hilarious. The joys of cat ownership...sigh.
Luckily we know you have like 400 wigs to choose from and wear....
I remember those days. It's not as bad as when my sister's dog got her busted when he dragged in a used condom from the trash can.
And what would be worse? A feminine hygiene product...or a dead rabbit?
One of my cats once brought in a dead rabbit he had killed and put it on my pillow...next to my head. It was all warm....
I needed a long shower.
You win Leab. The only thing worse than used feminine hygiene products for god and everyone to enjoy is dead rabbit snuggled right in there.
And the only thing worse than dead rabbit snuggled right in there is dead snake within 30 feet of this earthly body.
Indigo was making long distance phone calls! To Grenada.
I was trying to teach him how to roll a blunt like a true Rastafarian.
Don't say I didn't warn you! Why do you think I was so happy for you to take Doc off my hands?!
It IS funny though...
your life would be so boring around the apartment without the little guy.
Our cat once dropped a mouse he caught in the glass of water by the side of the bed. He used to do it with a little toy mouse and I would just grab it and throw it on the other side of the room for kicks. Imagine my horror when I heard a thud instead of a squish.
as a reader and cat owner, that's hilarious.
one of Mooki's favorite toys is a bra.