I have this one friend, that when I'm with her all I can think on repeat is, "I need a tape recorder." Because the stuff that comes out of her mouth seriously cracks my shit up.
The other day we were walking, latte-ing, and chatting it up ... as we often do in the mornings ... but this particular morning coffee run was saucier than normal because I got to hear all about her date the previous evening.
Me: Soooo? What happened next?
Her: Well. The date was fantastic. There was sparks. There was chemistry. But.
Me: But what? WHAT?!
Her: When he reached in to kiss me it was fireworks and butterflies until I opened my mouth a little in the universal signal for a little more, and then...
Me: AND THEN WHAT?! WHAT?!
Her: And then I was tongue-assaulted. His tongue attacked mine and it quickly devolved in to Tongue Tai Bo™.
Me: Oh my. Tongue Tai Bo™?
Her: You know what I'm talking about. The swirling vortex of tongue spins?
Me: Indeed sistah. Yes indeed. I'm just so glad that I, and every 7th grade girl in the universe, finally has a name for the swirling vortex of devolved tongue-kissing. So I imagine that was the end of the date?
Her: Indeed sistah. Yes indeed.
Ha ha, Tongue Tai Bo™. Totally.
Comments
Was the date with Billy Banks?
Yuck. Wierdo guy.
Yeah that's funny.