Let's say someone offered you $500,000 dollars to get engaged before you turn 30 years old.
Fact 1) You're currently 28½ years old.
Fact 2) You're currently single.
Fact 3) You're absolutely allowed to break off the engagement the day after your birthday.
Fact 4) Your long, wavy hair is an unnaturally beautiful amalgamation of blondes, reds, and warm honey browns.
Would you do it just to get the money?
And more importantly, wouldn't you wonder why your friend would offer such an agreeable arrangement when he stands to gain nothing by it?
I'm skeptical. (Uh, hypothetically speaking of course.)
Comments
From one prostitute to another...
First, welcome to the club.
Second, get it in writing.
Well, but technically I'm not exchanging anything for money. He's just gonna give it to me so long as I'm engaged.
And really. What *is* engaged but a verbal agreement anyway? Basically he's just handing over 500 big ones.
No need to get it all in writing - we drunkenly fistbumped on it. A drunken fistbump is as binding as a legal contract (totally holds up in court - or, well, it's gonna, anyway).
I'd say, congrats on your engagement. Now, please buy me a d70.
Too bad you didn't ask for the D200. Cuz I totally would have gotten it for you. *shrugs* Oh well.
Hmm. I obviously don't have cool enough friends.
Or drunk enough ones.
Tell him you want it in cash.
Then send me a plane ticket - I'll come and do portraits and drink to your 'verbal non-binding agreement'.
I've got to warn you, though - I will need IV-administered tatertot hotdish immediately upon arrival. Have EMS standing by. Then we'll do portraits.
It's like you're speaking in some weird Minnesotan-code. Tatertot hotdish?
I'm from Wisconsin and didn't catch a single "bratwurst" or "german potato salad" in there. What the fuck? I'm all confused 'n stuff.
Of course, all of this is predicated on someone winning the lottery at (roughly) 3 million to 1 odds. It depends on the law of large numbers to come up in your favor.
The larger question here is could Maggs find someone she could even tolerate long enough to fake an engagement. ;-)
You're right, I'm totally screwed.
I'm sooo not gonna say anything now.
Except that I think you're supposed to quit saying your age in half years after three or four.
Please tell me that I'm just misunderstanding your response... You aren't familiar with tatertot hotdish? (Disclaimer, I only stumbled across Wanda-the-drag-queen when searching for a photo of my favorite dish... But I am slightly intrigued by her podcast linked in her profile.)
Everyone who has lived, does live, or will ever live in Minnesota has the obligation to be able to prepare Tatertot Hotdish from memory. Thus says The Lord. You never know when you'll be asked to cook for a Lutheran Pot-Luck.
Need directions or more pictures? Check out more recipe info and pictures.
We can have a side of german potato salad along with my intravenous hotdish.
Take the money and run.
As your new financial advisor, I'll expect my usual 10%.