Montly archives
Amusing myself on a day off
Observe. A photographer, <-- that would be me, amusing herself.
Damn that shutter release. If Nikon could just figure out a way to shut that thing up the number of shots I took today would have been multiplied by ten. Seriously. I paid enough for the damn thing. Where's my mute?!
In which I try to get back in the swing of blogging
Everyone is doing their celebratory year-end-lists, and it did occur to me to stop and put together a little somethin' somethin' as well. So why didn't I? Because who the hell cares what CDs I listened to most this year (Gorillaz, Madonna, Black Eyed Peas, Coldplay, Charlotte Martin, Wax Tailor, Lamb, and Radiohead are my final answers). See? You don't even care.
Just when I had dismissed the idea of compiling a year-end anything I saw this. It's supposed to be a simple idea really: pick your best photo from 2005. Steve did it (that photo is fucking adorable). As of this post 644 other people have done it too.
None of those people are me. Ugh.
The thing is, I like a lot of my photographs but none of them really stand out for me. Some were fun, some were difficult, some were stupidly lucky, some were technically challenging, and some captured moments I don't ever want to forget. But were there any standouts? Wellllll... this is where it's obvious I'm a libra.
On the one hand (anyone who uses the phrase "on the one hand" is so obviously a libra, gemini, or aquarius it's ridiculous... but most probably a libra), I'm pleased with what I've accomplished technically this year. My work as a whole? Yes, it pleases me.
On the other hand, shit man. Nothing jumps out. Nothing lights my fire. Nothing puts the ga-dunka-dunk in my trunk. And I'm thinking to myself, how can all my photographs be so bland? I want some va-voom!
God, am I still talking? Yes people, it's this kind of shit that keeps me awake at night. Maybe one day I'll work my way up to that whole world peace issue. Blah blah blah, I finally just made myself pick a top 3 because I was tired of hearing myself think. Without further ado I give you (literally) my favorite photographs from 2005 (totally and completely picked at random in less than 30 seconds).
- "So much confusion" - one of the things I love most about talking to people about my photography is ruining all the backstory they had built up in their minds. It's just like popping 1,000 bubbles on a strip of bubble wrap simultaneously. POP! This photograph was taken in my
living roomstudio. Basically it was astupid chair with a sheet draped over it and tacked to the walls to cover up the carpettechnically challenging piece withthe only small lamp I own shoved behind the stool because I'm too much of a cheap-ass to go buy proper ghetto lighting equipment at Targetlighting carefully choreographed to compliment the moodfrustration with poor lighting and also the fact that I hadn't shaved my legs in more days than a proper woman admits toand the stagingsome old dress I pulled out of my closet at the last minute. Such perfection. - "A dramatic Minneapolis sunset" - I took this from my living room window at some point this summer and am totally in love with the simplicity of the photo. The contrast gets me off too.
- "Don't jump" - I got this model as a birthday gift from Steve. He's suicidal (my model, not Steve) and again I think it's the simplicity that I love about this photo. There's something about the "emotions" of the city going on in the background that I love as well. Adds to his desperation (the model, again, not Steve).
- "A Prairie Ho Companion" - This one is my honorable mention because it was so much freagin' fun to do it was ridiculous. I don't feel like it's allowed to be a best picture because it was just this stupid thing I did one night after a glass of wine. Today's fun fact: you totally can't tell but I'm wearing this shade of lipstick called "Stripper Red". It's hot.
That's all I got this year. Next year we'll recap the year's most celebrated moments in Shuffleboard. Oooooooh!
I've got my mind set on you
This is my desperate cry for help because I'm all sucked in and don't know where else to turn. I thought about Craiglisting this post, but the fact is I need some immediate and direct intervention from people who understand. Like those people who read my dumb blog. At this point any old person will do as well. I write today's post between crying and sniffling, barely able to rap my trembling little digits upon each key because the guilt and shame I feel in what I'm about to say is overwhelming. Why just last night I drowned my sorrows in raspberry chocolate chip ice cream, but the sorrows were still there when I was done. I fear I'm beyond help. I've heard of this thing that involves several "steps", but since following the rules never really worked for me blurting it out was the best I could come up with on short notice.
I, Margaret Andrews, have found the Tivo.
HELP! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?! I'M WATCHING TELEVISION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3 YEARS!!!!!
Jesus lord almighty the shows I've watched. Desperate Housewives (kinda sorta), playboy playmates on E!, 30 of the sexiest celebrities of the year, The Boondocks, Charlie Rose, Letterman, Arrested Development, CNN, LOCAL NEWS!!!... as you can see, it's quality programming. Ain't nuthin' like watching Hef's latest 20 year old girlfriend wax poetic about the sporty types she'd like to bang.
[And just for the record, watching the first season of The L Word on DVD in only a few days soooo doesn't count. Cuz it was on DVD, obviously.]
No but seriously, have you guys heard about this newfangled thing called Tivo? It's amazing! Moving pictures right there in your living space. ON DEMAND! WITHOUT COMMERCIALS (or at least the ability to fast forward through them)! A 60 minute show in just over a half hour. I haven't done a fucking thing all week - my blogging has gone to pot, my photographs are less than stellar, but thank *god* I finally saw The Boondocks cuz shit. That show cracks me up. No really, have you seen it?! So funny.
What's boggling my mind is the whole advertising thing. In lieu of this recent change in my television viewing habits I'm giving up some of my regular internet guilty-reads (I'll admit it, I read a lot of trashy columns online). I read a lot of other stuff too, which is making me wonder why absolutely *no one* is talking about the future of advertising on television. What gives? My ass has been parked in front of that fucking TV for an entire week and have I watched a single commercial? Nope. Nada. Zippo. Zilch. Nyet. Boy would I like to be in a room with a bunch of TV execs this year - that's gonna be some fun stuff. Better yet, get me a job with Tivo because all I see are possibilities. I bet they'll take over the world someday. Right after Google buys them out.
You know what else is boggling my mind? I'm starting to wonder if I could actually spend an entire week in front of the Tivo (but here's the best part) in BED!
Okay so yeah. You know when I'm exercising brain muscles spend *serious* time thinking about how it would be physically possible to spend an entire week in front of the television, in bed, something's gotta change. I can't possibly get anything done like this.
Top 5 things I'd like to see on Tivo this year:
1. vlog feeding made easy (MNstories I mean you!)
2. the ability to order food (like Hummus-To-Go! delivered right to my doorstep)
3. synching with my work Outlook so I can start working from my bed home
4. all my rss feeds
5. my face
I like Tivo and coffee. There, I've said it.
Rachael is a fucking bitch (and I mean that in the most affectionate bitch-calling way possible). She has the audacity to visit me in October and get me hooked on Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Have I mentioned that I DON'T EVEN DRINK COFFEE?! Cuz I don't. The stuff is disgusting. She then conveniently and magically disappears after 2 or 3 hits of latte goodness leaving me weak and vulnerable, craving the pumpkin spiced, cool-whipped goodness at all hours of the day and night. I even risked getting my car towed (and $100 dollars later DID!) just for a stupid latte. Rachael, you'll be receiving my $100 towing fee bill any day now. Plus you'll have to face the wrath of my readers for having to read this load of a blog entry when I could have been spinning tales about cool new cameras instead.
This morning I went to Starbucks for my semiweekly pumpkiny spiced goodness when, GAH!, I find out they're "out of pumpkin spice lattes". Excuse me, did I catch a "WE'RE OUT OF MANNA" in there?! Well it's true. Apparently they're done for the season. I cried a little bit, and then agreed for one of their *new* spiced goodness lattes - the Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Was I conscious for the whole transaction? Not really. I was too busy nodding my head and rocking back and forth in the fetal position to really know what was going on. So this cinnamon dolce thing? It ain't no pumpkiny spiced goodness that's for freagin' sure, but at least it's closer to my search for the perfect latte than that gingerbread crap they called a latte.
As I drove away with my cinnamon dolce latte this morning I couldn't help but wonder why I regularly spend exactly $4.05 on a pinch of cinnamon sprinkled in some milk and espresso and don't particularly see anything wrong with the value of my dollar. Seriously, why do I do this to myself? And more importantly, why didn't I think of charging people ridiculous amounts of money for cinnamon milk before Starbucks did?
Fucking geniuses.
In other news, one of the small delights I get in working in an off-campus building for a hospital is the trips to the unisex bathroom. That sentence can be interpreted so many different ways, but let me lead you in the right direction before any of you smartasses can beat me to the punchline. So basically I work in a building where a lot of conferences, training sessions, and meetings for the hospital types take place. Those doctors and administrative types I'm tellin' ya, if I had a nickel for every time I found a misplaced pager on the toilet paper dispenser I'd be able to afford Cinnamon Dolce Lattes every day of every week. It still makes me giggle out loud a little bit every time I find one. Ha ha ha, oh the embarrassment. And people think that *I'm* spacey!
And when I'm done I'm going to run with scissors!
I've seen the word "exacerbate" in print about 10 time in the past 2 days. And you know what? Every time I see it I giggle out loud because all I see is Shaun asking his girlfriend Liz in the opening scene...
- Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
- Shaun: What you mean?
- Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
- Shaun: No, I mean, what does "exacerbates' mean?
Everyone should own a copy of Shaun of the Dead. No really.
I'm gonna go shove my fist down my throat to shut myself up now. It's the only way I think I can control the giggling.
It's amazing I'm still single, isn't it?
Why do I get the distinct feeling like my new camera lens was designed by a man? Observe:
Is it just me? I'm rubbing my eyes here but it just feels like I'm back in the 4th grade, sitting in the back of the room giggling at Naomi Smits's 'W's cuz they look like a giant rear end.
Tuesday limerick
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Who had enough wintery cold and yelled, "FUCK IT!"
So she said to her man,
"I'm done with slipping on me'can,"
And they flew the hell out of dodge in a bucket.
[Well, technically I haven't flown anywhere yet... but in about a week I'm fucking out of here.]
I'm not convinced
Today was another bright, shining day in the land of Mac-users. Steve Jobs gave his MacWorld keynote and the whole design- and technology-world is abuzz with all the latest and greatests presented by Himself. Read a full summary of the keynote here.
So I find myself asking, um, myself what the big deal is again? (I ask myself this every time he does one of these announcementajiggies.) Sure this stuff is great blah bliddy blah de blah, but let's just get to the meat of the issue. *HOW* is my life made any easier or better by shelling out big dough for an Apple computer? I need compatibility. I need speed. I need flexibility. I need backward-compatibility. Did I mention I need compatibility? Anything I can do on a Mac I can do faster on a PC. PLUS I can do extra stuff on a PC I can't do on a Mac. Like play all the coolest video games when they're released!!! So.... what gives?
I'll give you that Apple computers are sleek and sexy. Hell, I want one just cuz they're so bloody sexy my uber-sex-appeal would go up at least 10 points with one of these babies sitting on my duvet a la Sex and the City. Totally hot.
If anyone can successfully convince me why my next computer should be an apple I'll buy ya a drink. But I'm pretty sure that's not gonna be happening any time soon.
(I'm sorry Steve, but I really just don't get it yet. I'm hopeful though... maybe someday my life will be better because of an Apple.)
From a photographer's point of view
Top 10 things I'd like to photograph (in no particular order):
01. someone in a bathtub (I haven't quite worked out how I want this composed yet)
02. a high-fashion model (styled in a tinge of grunge and copious amounts of black eyeliner) photographed in an industrial setting
03. the ocean (beach is a must)
04. a wedding (but not as the primary photographer - more as a floating photographer in the background)
05. kitten(s) (or puppies)
06. a ballet company (studio rehearsal and stage performance)
07. Carnival, in Rio de Janeiro
08. Blythe
09. a family playing in a lake on a sunny afternoon
10. myself in an intimate moment (let's not get too intimate, m'kay?)
Top 10 places I'd like to photograph:
01. All parts of Italy (as in a tour of: mountains, Venice, Rome, countryside, small countryside towns, etc.)
02. Paris
03. Prague
04. Japan
05. Alaska
06. northern Scandinavia + Iceland (Northern Lights would be cool)
07. the South Pacific
08. mountains (I'm not picky really, any will do)
09. the Scientology headquarters (why not?)
10. New England in the spring
Top 10 things I don't want to photograph:
01. myself, hungover
02. the north/south poles
03. Detroit (no offense, really)
04. Britney Spears
05. golf
06. an angry hive of bees
07. Chernobyl without at least 10 layers of protective gear
08. El Azizia, Libya (it's hot there, m'kay?)
09. 6 billion alien fetuses
10. ill-tempered, mutated sea bass
I'm an idiot
I received all my new camera loot over the weekend, which in itself was cause for a big celebration at my house. New 50mm lens? Love it. New 70-300mm lens? Bee's knees. Close-up (ghetto macro) filter set? I think I've been punk'd!
[This is sign #1 I'm an idiot - what the fuck was I thinking I'd get?! A ghetto macro filter on an 18-70mm lens is just like strapping on a 70-300mm lens. Oh. Uh. Of course. Why didn't I think of that sooner? Uh huh: cuz I'm an idiot.]
Seriously? If I can't photograph a mosquito and see the blemishes on its hairy little legs then what's the point? Goodbye cheap alternative to buying a ridiculously ridiculous macro lens. See you in another lifetime when I'm a rich and successful paid photographer who's allowed to tell people to "GIVE ME POUTY!" Followed of course by, "Burrow, BURROW!" And then of course, "GIVE ME MY MACRO LENS! I can't work in these ... these ... conditions."
So... I sent the whole filter set back today but I definitely wasn't happy about it. Meh. I also sent back a couple of adapter rings because I bought them the wrong way (step-downs instead of step-ups).
[This is sign #2 that I'm an idiot. "Step-downs you fool?" Yup. That's what I asked myself when I tried to make the damn things work. I've had to take a $15 dollar hit because of this fuckup. Oh well. It's a good thing I'm made of money! Er, wait...]
This morning I packaged up the return items, sealed the box, and fastened it with super-heavy-duty-industrial packaging tape. Over my lunch hour I ran to the post office, stepped up to pay the piper, and guess what. I didn't bother *addressing* the f**king thing!@#$*&!!! Who walks out of the door having done something like that? An idiot, that's who. Oh yeah, and me.
[Sign #3 I'm an idiot: memory left somewhere between downtown and uptown last night after taking that last hit of sake. New Year's Resolution Number 1: think twice about that last hit of sake.]
However I'm here to tell you all is not lost and I think I've come up with the perfect solution to my as-yet-uncured disease. I BOUGHT NEW CAMERA STUFF TODAY! (Which, I've decided, is officially the answer to everything.)
+ I'm going on vacation next week. BUY CAMERA STUFF!
+ Ow my head hurts. BUY CAMERA STUFF!
+ Brad and Angelina are having a baby? BUY CAMERA STUFF!
I finally bought myself a speedlight (and perhaaaaps a flash diffuser too). I won't even justify this purchase with sound reasoning, because if you saw the Blythe photograph I posted yesterday you'll have reason enough to trust my judgment. Poor lighting makes me itch. But with my new speedlight.... *wolf whistle* I'll get to walk around with one of those groovy, giant flashes attached to the top of my camera, which as everyone knows is the true mark of a real photographer. I won't be one of those fake photographers anymore! w00!
But finally, here's today's totally random trivia. What the hell is a speedlight (besides being a dumb flash)? Why I'll tell you! "Speedlight" is the brand name used by Nikon for their flash units (Canon's version is "Speedlite"). It's also an indicator of "cool" and "hip" and "needs to get a life".
Thank goodness I had that 5 dollar latte this morning
Contrary to what I led you to believe in yesterday's post, I'm not a total idiot. I spend a huge amount of my time reading on the internet every day... and yet, how come I didn't know that stamps went from .37 to .39 cents earlier this week? Seriously. Not a fucking peep on any news websites, blogs, or anything else I find myself trudging through day after day. And not only that, but the big-ass car payment I sent in earlier this week will probably end up back in my mailbox sometime next week, which is of course when I'll be on the other side of the country unable to fix a .02 cent piece of shit stamp on the damn thing so they get their damn money. Which they'll of course get late anyway. And that irritates me cuz I've never had a late payment. Ever.
Did I mention I'm irritated?
PLUS!!!!, yesterday I was at the post office and they had big-ass .37 cent posters all over the damn place. If I had a camera phone I would take pictures just to prove I'm not completely out of my mind.
So, just in case you hadn't heard this is your friendly public service announcement letting you know all your payments will be LATE! this month. What can I say, I'm a do-gooder.
Ugh. This is a whole barrel of suck and reeks of conspiracy.
Minneapolis nice
This just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, written by he who thinks the internet is a vacuum, loves long strolls on the beach, late night conversations, and holding babies. Read on....
Almost blogging from my bed
I don't want to get my cold all over you today *sniff*, so this entry's gonna be teh l4m3z0r. Ugh. I don't get sick very often but when I do I'm pretty much worthless. It is time... for bed.
The following would be my playlist on shuffle. If you haven't heard of some of this stuff, CHECK IT OUT. Sick Margaret compels you.
01. Veins - Charlotte Martin
02. My Style - Black Eyed Peas
03. Pull Up the People - M.I.A.
04. Red Sam - Flyleaf
05. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
06. Speakers - Kelli Ali
07. Lonely Lonely - Feist
08. Goodtimes - Joystick
09. 'Cello Song - Nick Drake
10. Precious - Depeche Mode
Off to see a wizard
Honest to goodness I must be reaaaaally sick because it's against my better judgment that I stopped off at Target today and bought some drugs. I got an email from Keira this morning saying, "Dayquil and Nyquil are the *BEST EVER*!!! Go to sleep and you'll wake up feeling like a million bucks." If she was a commercial this is the part where I'd imagine a sparkle emerging from between her 2 front teeth just before she carefully collapses on to her pillows in a restful slumber.
I want restful slumber.
So, um, yeah. I got some Dayquil and Nyquil, not to mention a pack of Sudafed, because tomorrow I'm flying to the west coast for a long weekend. And damned if I'm going to be sick for this trip. I also picked up a really cute light-blue sweater that's probably one or two sizes too small... cuz when you're all kinds of drugged up on meds and feeling pretty congested, caffeinated, and tired from not sleeping at all the night before a light-blue sweater one size too small is lookin' pretty good. Me? I want to look pretty good.
So I bought it.
I'm headed to Seattle for the remainder of the week so I can be part of their whole record-breaking rain thing. Have you guys heard about this? Apparently they're on-track to break some kind of 53-year record when it rained 33 days straight in 1953. Shamana-hamana holy guacamole batman! Actually, if you know me you know that I'm kinda ticked off about the whole thing because I just acquired all this crazy-cool camera equipment and now it looks like I won't really get to use it like I had planned. FOILED! This just means I'll return with lots of photographs of, "This is the hotel room!" And, "This is the hotel restaurant!" And, "This is me playing cards on the hotel bed while eating my hotel room service while wearing my hotel robe after taking a swim in the hotel pool." Actually I'm pretty sure the hotel doesn't have a pool but I'm guessing it's not gonna be difficult to find some water while I'm there. With all the rain I'm pretty sure I could swim my ass right back to Minneapolis by the end of the weekend.
Roger will be around to post some entries and keep an eye on you guys while I'm gone (don't deny it, my stats tell me who you love more!). Play nice and I'll see you when I get back.
the return of the son of jelly wellington 2: the revenge
Hiya! Roger here (otherwise known as jellywellington), subbing for Margaret again whilst she’s having her long weekend away. I would have posted yesterday, but I totally forgot to send the password details for sopheava to my home email so it all went horribly wrong! I’m just so scatter-brained and unreliable – probably the last person Margaret should trust to look after the place when she’s not around, but there you go! Way-hey! I mean, I don’t even know how to pronounce the name of the site – is it pronounced ‘so-fever’? ‘sopp-hevver’? ‘so-feearrva’? I dunno. Someone enlighten me. It says on the site somewhere, I know, but I’ve got this huge deadline and it’s nearly lunch and I’m hungry and stuff (note tummy rumble, just off screen). She’s told me before, like probably a million times, but it just goes straight in one ear and out of the other one again.
Do any of you have even the slightest clue who I am and what I look like? (Do you even care? Nobody cares! waaaah!) I must be the only regular contrubuter to this blog who has never, ever, ever (ever!) had my gorgeous face featured in Lumiere. So I don’t live in Minneapolis! Is it still too much to ask for Margaret to come and take a snazzy photo of me doing something interesting? I do interesting things all the time. No, really! My life is one long series of fabulously interesting things that even the most cynical photo-journalist couldn’t fail to find fascinating. Only this morning I ate a bag of crisps while sat at my desk. See! If I don’t get my photo in Lumiere soon I’m just gonna burst, I tell you!
So yes, Roger: English, 5’10", slim, wears a lot of black, scruffy brown hair (what’s left of it), rather dashing and handsome if I say so meself, rarely clean shaven, graphic designer, yadda yadda yadda.
Hey! Stop drifting off at the back there! Pay attention damn it!
We need to seriously impact on the stats while Margaret is away, as she’s SO jealous that apparently whenever I cover for her, the stats go up, which means that I’m WAY more popular than she is, as well as being dashing and handsome. So here’s the thing. I’m gonna cheat and let’s hope she doesn’t notice – everyone who reads this : when you leave for another site, pop back here again briefly, then go somewhere else, then pop back here a third time – all you need to do is just nip in, then straight back out again. That should do it. If you ALL do this, I’ll get three times as many hits as she usually gets, and she’ll be green with envy and stomping her feet and she’ll never guess what’s happened! Ha ha!!
er.. unless she sees this post, that is….
More rubbish tomorrow. Funnier, too. No, really, it will be!
Roger x
wobble - another guest post by Roger (welly)
Rog here again, guest posting for Margaret while she’s away in Seattle. (Isn’t that where Frasier takes place? I feel like I know it already!)
Yesterday we were discussing some arrangements to watch the phones here in my office, as we’re expecting a few more calls than usual next month. My boss (who’s female), instead of saying ‘we need extra hands to man the phones’ said: ‘we need extra hands to man, or woman, the phones’. How do you woman a phone? Is that what you do just after jumping the shark? At what point does PC language become ridiculous? I despair sometimes!
It struck me today that there are lots of wobbly buildings in York – that’s York, in England, where I live (a quick side grumble: nobody over here ever says that we live in ‘the UK’ – we say we’re English, we live in England (or Scotland, or Wales) – this ‘UK’ thing is a recent development that seems to have started over in the US (USA? North America? It’s all so confusing!), probably in Texas where they think that England is just a state or something. It’s not – England is a country, like France, or Sweden, or whatever. I’ve heard Tony Blair use the expression ‘here in the UK’ from time to time, and it just makes me cringe when he says it – anyway, I digress!)
Where was I…? oooo yeah wobbly buildings. York is a very old city, still full of medieval buildings of all shapes and sizes, the street layout being an intricate network of small lanes and passageways – just like Ye Olde England that you see in the shop scenes in Harry Potter (that street where he bought his wand in the first movie looks exactly like a number of streets in York). With the great age of lots of these buildings, some have moved and shifted over the years, leaning a little this way or that, with doors and floors at crazy angles. I like that! Whenever I see a wobbly building, I want to look inside it, to see if it has wobbly walls.
Reminds me of a rhyme my mum taught me when I was a kid, whenever we had jelly. It went like this: "wibble wobble wibble wobble jelly on a plate!". Tell it to all your friends…
Back in the swing of things
Okay, so I'm not really back in the swing of things yet but I am back in town and boy does it feel good not to be in airports anymore. If there's anything I hate more than unpacking (and I reeeeeeally, really hate unpacking) it's flying. What a complete waste of time. You have to be at the airport 2 hours early, it smells funny, your ears pop, everything is crammed, takeoff and landing take forever, hopefully your luggage makes it, and whoala. Your entire day gone just so you can fly an hour to the next state.
Still, with my many and vast airport complaints out of the way it's totally worth it to fly out to the west coast for a mini-getaway. Seattle is a blast and I highly recommend it to everyone. Some things about the trip...
- Um, could Seattle *be* any more like Minneapolis? The whole time I was there it felt like I was walking around Minneapolis but with an ocean. That was cool. And a little weird in a parallel universe kind of a way, but overwhelmingly cool.
- Penthouse suites are teh r0x0r!
- I saw a *real live* BUM FIGHT! We were walking down the street and ended up at an intersection waiting to cross, when across the road I saw two guys sorta slo-motion leaning their way to the ground. I wouldn't even lower myself to calling it a fall since it was an obvious drunken lean. One proceeded to sort of, erm, get on top of the other and had his hands around his neck. It was weird... I couldn't tell if they were playing, or getting their groove on, or fighting? It turned out to be the latter, which is a bit of a stretch since they were so drunk that the one on the bottom wasn't really doing any struggling and the one on the top wasn't really succeeding with the strangling. One of the bystanders called the cops but by the time she got off the phone the guy on top stumbled his way off, presumably for more alcohol. There were no bets involved.
- Pioneer Square was my favorite. Elliott Bay Book Store in Pioneer Square? It's a little bit of heaven.
- Biggest regret? That I didn't bring my camera to the library. I would have moved in to that place if I could have. Especially the red, subterranean uterus hallway. Wicked cool.
- Clam chowder is supposed to be so thick you can eat it with a fork. WHO KNEW?!
- For 2 whole days I walked around looking at signs posted in almost every single storefront saying, "GO HAWKS!" It wasn't until the beginning of day 3 I realized they were talking about the Seattle Seahawks football team and not some local basketball team. What can I say, sports just isn't my strongpoint.
- I realized on the way to work this morning that my body was demanding a Cinnamon Dolce latte. This is my public plea for intervention... why do I love the Starbucks lattes so?!
- Roger is hereby ex-communicated from all sopheava.com statistic bragging rights. My site stats took the biggest dip they've seen in *months* no thanks to him. Additionally there will be no photographs of Roger on my photoblog in the near future. I'm sorry Roger but you've brought this on yourself.
- It's pronounced SO-FEE-AVA, not so-fever. Although I've resigned to the fact that most people pronounce it SO-FEE-VA and that's a little bit of alright.
- This is also my notice to Roger that this site isn't a forum for his personals dating ad. Nice try buddy but let's leave the pimping to me, m'kay?
One more thing - it's nice to be out of the damp.
Okay two more things... my favorite words from the trip are "damp" and "moist", words we don't get to use a lot of in these parts.
Quite unbelievable
I'm truly in a state of stunned silence. Okay, *almost* in a state of stunned silence (as if I could keep my mouth shut). This week's Photo Friday challenge is "Pink"... and I have nothing to share.
*gasp*
For the uninitiated Photo Friday hosts weekly, thematically based photo challenges for you and me. This week the theme is "Pink", last week it was "Success", and the week before it was "Panorama". You enter your submission, viewers pick a favorite, blah blah blah. It's basically a fun little way for photographers to share their work and do something fun.
So I took a look through my photoblog archives this morning and it turns out that She Who Loves The Pink™ has not even a single entry to share. What the fuck? But what's even more alarming is that I then started to brainstorm all the pink things I own, mulling over how I could photograph them for this challenge. But... erm, I don't really *own* any pink.
Have I awoken in a parallel universe or something? How can this be? Someone take my temperature.
Biding my time with another one of those stupid meme thingies
It's another one of those stupid tag memes I callously stole from the collective internet. To be honest I'm polishing off a new design and am biding my time until I can post the damn thing... hopefully today or tomorrow. Until then... nonsense be King!
Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Dog walker
2. Shoe salesperson
3. Technical support phone operator
4. Web designer
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Elizabeth
2. Amélie
3. Sliding Doors
4. Ghostbusters (yes, really)
Four places I’ve lived:
1. Minneapolis, Minnesota
2. Eau Claire, Wisconsin
3. Växjö, Sweden
4. Sheboygan, Wisconsin
Four TV shows I love:
1. *repressing*
2. *repressing*
3. *repressing*
4. Okay fine, I like The Boondocks. Sue me.
Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Crete, Greece
2. Helsinki, Finland
3. Seattle, Washington
4. London, England
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Kung Pao Chicken
2. Pizza
3. Japanese food (pretty much *any* Japanese food)
4. Anything with guacamole
Four sites I visit daily:
1. Stylegala
2. Google Reader
3. Albedo (Señor Prakope)
4. Chromasia
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed
2. Lying on a white, sandy beach in my bikini
3. Happy hour
4. A hot tub in Europe somewhere
Clean is the new black
I decided the old design was too last year and depressing. It was time to lighten things up and clean up around the place (if you think this is clean you should see my house!). Honestly I'm over the busy, kamikaze-style designs so pervasive on the internet these days... so we're keeping with the minimal... and white... and of course pink. Haven't you missed the pink?
All hail the pink.
Ahhhhh yes, that feels better.
My sober disclaimer
If I was smart I'd be blogging right now, seeing as how in T minus 4 hours I'll probably be completely blitzed (and possibly blogging from the bathroom floor in a manner not entirely dissimilar to that of Raych's methods as of late).
But no one ever acused me of being smart. Therefore I'm withholding any and all juicy blog fodder until Project Reasonably Smashed™ is well underway.
Possible topics for tonight's entry include...
- How to lose 10 lbs. in 10 days
- Why bearnaise sauce and top sirloin should just go ahead and make it official
- The many and varied downsides to microwaving your Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte at 8:00 in the morning
- Any of about 30 of my most closely guarded secrets, secrets you only *wish* you knew! (If you are one of those people shaking your head right now going, Mmmm hmmmm, I know what all that's about, trust me... you don't)
- Why I'm not going to redesign my photoblog anytime in the next century
- More about where I got the current design's artwork
- Rummy 500 insider secrets
- Where pop music went to die
- How to get free burritos at Chipotle
- The possible reasons why most of my readers think I still work downtown
- How to annoy your *own* self
- How Welly *always* manages to IM me when I'm completely smashed thereby wrestling the most juicy and salacious bits of info on your narrarator
- How I've convinced him not to talk
- Why I'll be too drunk to blog by 9 pm
In which I talk about lattes... again!
In my random state of alcohol induced genius the other night, no I didn't write about why it's a bad idea to microwave a Starbucks latte at 8 in the morning and no I didn't write about how to get free oil changes, but I DID! deduce that we (the human race) have been collectively spelling a vast array of words the wrong way (this revelation merely scratches the surface of my never-ending supply of genius). Therefore "womb" shall henceforth be represented as "woom". "Tomb" is now "toom". And "comb" is now "coam".
Agreed? Agreed.
(Back off Oxford University Press, you can't afford me.)
Busy, busy girl this weekend. I finally figured out the trick to unpacking (which if you've been paying attention know I hate about as much as people who chew with their mouths open): it's all a matter of *annoying* yourself in to a state of unpacking submission. See I strategically placed the suitcase 5 feet from my front door, but more importantly directly in the path to the living room. And sure enough! By Friday I was so annoyed with (tripping over) myself I unpacked the stupid thing. Believe me, it takes years to develop and achieve such a sophisticated web of thought processes. But I can be bought (yeah, a latte will do it) and am happy to consult with you and your lingering problems in any way I can.
I also cleaned, vacuumed, did 8 loads of laundry, filed my taxes, somehow ended up a flickr babe (again!), finished 2 novels, got 300 pages in to 'The Historian' by Elizabeth Kostova, updated a, um, thing I can't talk about in case the people who pay my rent read this, updated 3 websites, shot some photographs, cured world hunger, had a nice little chat with my best friend's boyfriend (er, I guess he's now her ex-boyfriend... again) in which I managed to insult him with the phrase "What do you think?", drank a non-microwaved latte, and discovered 5 bruises on my legs. Yeeeeeah, I'm not so sure about that last one cuz seriously... what the fuck? I'm a computer nerd who literally spends all her time in front of a computer and not so much out climbing mountains. What a curious life my sleepwalking self must lead.
Now that we've got all that stuff out of the way, let's clear up a few other minor details:
- I work in St. Louis Park.
- But I live in downtown Minneapolis.
- So if you want to meet up with me over lunch make sure you remember that minor detail unless you want to be having lunch with Steve (but he's not nearly as nice to look at).
- It is, in fact, possible to get almost anything for free... including oil changes.
- Where did pop music go to die? That would be my computer in case anyone's on the hunt.
- I am the Rummy 500 M.A.S.T.E.R. Bitches step off.
- The current design's artwork? I leveraged elements from Kirsten Ulve's stuff. Gotta love her.
- Always make sure the dolts at Starbucks actually remembered to *heat* your latte before you drive off with a cup of cold milk and espresso in your hands.
- Additionally, milk expands when heated... just keep that in mind when you're re-heating your latte at 8 in the morning and step away from the microwave for a few minutes. In the event you do walk away, return with a generous helping of paper towels and/or napkins.
- Milk also has a tendency to burn around the edges if left unattended. Another minor detail that often slips through the cracks.
I don't even know how to title this one
I can't be certain, but I think I just read about a study that suggests obesity is contagious.
Did they ever stop to think that stupidity is contagious?
Really people.