Somewhere in Wisconsin my father and 2 brothers have been earnestly watching The Weather Channel for the past 20 years of their respective lives. Which means they've probably been imagining the kind of snowstorm Minneapolis is currently experiencing. Because, well, they'll tell me they knew about it 6 days ago you see. (Honestly I'll never understand the male preoccupation with The Weather Channel. It's just weather. Yes, we have some. So... what's the big deal?)
The snow, it's beautiful. Many, many inches of gorgeousness. And it's still coming down oh happy day.
No thanks to some random hiccup in the cosmic flow of things, yesterday I was informed I would have to be in to work just past 6 this morning. Not only did my alarm actually wake me up today but it was the first time in, uh, a long time I was bleary eyed in the shower. Let me quickly add a "THANK. FREAGIN. GOD. for small, unexpected miracles" because the road conditions were *beyond* ridiculous. And me? I got to drive to work before there was any traffic.
Correction. What I meant to say is that I got to drive to work before my ass was creamed by some crazy suburban housewife in an SUV driving her kids to school. I'm telling you, those bitches are nuts. Put 'em in a big vehicle and you might as well kiss your ass goodbye.
God it's early. I'm so taking a nap later.
In other news, I just have to share my latest conversation with Steve. Steve has been single for a little over 2 years and *boy oh boy* does the guy need a date. Which is why when he told me he met a girl online I almost did a backflip. Thank freagin' god! Anyway, he emails me this morning to make sure I'm not gonna be at this certain Minneapolis event anytime within the next week cuz he wants to take Ms. Wonderful there.
And I'm all, "Ha ha ha ha ha, awww, how cute... HEY! WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"
And he's all, "Well, I want to make sure you're not around."
And I'm all, "I think 'meeting the friends' should be part of Steve's Standard Battery of Dating Tests."
Steve doesn't like that idea very much and I really don't understand why. No really, I can't! There was this one girl he dated for all of a week (did it even last that long?). We'll call her Jen, cuz, well, that was her name. One night Steve and Jen are out on a date when me and my ex thought it would be fun to meet up with them for drinks at Tiburon. So we do. An hour or two later we walk all of one block back to my apartment where more drinks ensue. Laughing, music, good times, it all ensued. I even recall *someone* lighting a paper airplane on fire and sending it sailing off of my 32nd floor balcony. Ha ha ha, DON'T TRY THAT AT HOME!
Anyway (so the story goes), Steve and Jen leave in the wee hours of the morning after a wonderful evening ... when it happened. They get back to his place and she completely flips out on him like a curmudgeonous, bitter old housewife going through menopause, a mid-life crisis, and demanding a divorce all at the age of 23. Something about "YOUR FRIENDS!" and "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR BEHAVIOR!" and "YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!" was screamed at him after only, what, 3 dates?
Okay, but with Steve's record I think he needs all the help he can get. If they're offended by *ME* then there's just no hope. Not only am I sugar and spice and everything nice, but I'm funny and rarely curse in person (no honest!). Plus I only say really nice things about him and make him look good (because what the hell else are beautiful friends good for?). So secretly, I think I'm gonna plot to be at this event just to shake things up. And I'm gonna bring my camera. Cuz I can't think of anything that would bring my readers more entertainment.
Comments
Don't forget that when she woke up in the morning it was like nothing happened. She was Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk or Jekyll/Hyde.
And she yelled at me for not being "strong enough" emotionally. Yeah, you want psycho date stories I have a million of them.
Congrats Steve and shake it up Sophie ;)
hey we got our own storm brewing over here, like I got time to worry about how cold and snowy it is there as you look out from your covered parking ramp......sheesh!