Snowball.

Last night my friend Shea called. The moment I saw her name pop up on the caller ID I knew she had an agenda. How did I know this? Because I've known her since I was 8 years old and have the videos to prove it (don't ask). I also knew she had an agenda because I just spoke to her 2 nights ago. If she calls more than once or twice a week something is definitely up.

"Hey Margaret. So.... how's it going?"

"Everything's fine. What's up?"

*long sigh* "Ohhhhhhh, nothing. You know, just hanging out with my cat Struessel."

"Oh. That's nice."

And then there was this awkward pause where I didn't really know what to say next because I *knew* she was playing me. Oh I believed she was hanging out with her cat Struessel but also knew that part about nothing being up made her a big fat liar. But she didn't really know how to carry on either so we just kinda... paused. Unfortunately the bitch knows me too well (and has the videos to prove it) and knew she had to work up to asking me what she wanted to ask me. She had to catch me off-guard. Had to butter me up. Catch me unawares.

And of course that moment finally came because, well, my attention span could use some work.

About 20 minutes later she finally said to me, "Soooooooo... I have something to ask you." And by the way her voice went up an octave when she said the word "so" I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Hmph."

"How would you like a kitten?"

"A, uh, what?"

"Oh Margaret, it's just the cutest little thing ever. My friend is moving to St. Paul and has to get rid of her new kitten because they don't allow pets where she's going. And... and... oh my god it's so sweet. And cute. And darling. And it looks just like Struessel and oh Margaret she'll have to take her to the pound if she can't find a home for it."

This is where I'm feeling trapped, and she knew this all too well. You see, if you've ever met me you know that since the moment I took my first breath I've wanted a cat. My first word, it was probably "kitty". Unfortunately I grew up in a house without animals which means I'm 28 years old and have never had a pet (well, having that goldfish when I was 6 doesn't really count). Consequently it also means that I take my duty as being a good animal mom very, very seriously. So seriously that I'm 28 years old and have never had a cat... eventhough I have an exact breed and name picked out for it already. I even have my second cat picked out already too.

"What's its name?"

"Snowball."

This is the part where I'm literally melting in to my couch as I'm envisioning an energetic bundle of fur hopping around my apartment as it chases its own teeny little tail.... that answers... to the name... of Snowball. How freagin' cute.

"But Shea, I, well, um, I mean, I just don't think I can have a cat."

"BUT SNOWBALL WILL GO TO THE POUND!"

"Shea. First my house isn't kitten-proofed. And then there's all the expenses of getting it shots and neutered and paying to have it in the building. And then it'd be stuck in this little apartment all day by itself, probably throwing up in the corners because it'd have been eating all my plants. And... and... and..."

"I knew it. You *always* have an excuse. I told Struessel just before I called that 'Margaret'd have an excuse.'"

God I feel like an ogre now. But all I'm sayin' is that not only is the kitten not the kind I always wanted, but it already has a name. A name that I wouldn't have picked out for it. The only reason I didn't feel like throwing my horrible self out my 6th story window is because I knew that Shea wanted this cat really, really bad. More than me. How did I know this? Because I've known her since I was 8 (and have the videos to prove it). That's why I immediately went in to Project Hasty SELL!™ -mode and successfully convinced her to pick up the cat this weekend and see if she and Struessel can get along. Because that's what friends do - they convince their best friend's to do the right thing.

This little conversation throws in to sharp relief the fact that all my friends think I have some commitment issues. I beg to differ. They're not commitment issues, I just take being a kitty mom very seriously. And I want to give my kitty a good home. And... and... and... oh who am I kidding. I have commitment issues. But I'm still not getting Snowball cuz she's not what I want. I might have commitment issues but I can still be picky. My search will go on.

I leave you now with my most favorite! cat picture! EVER! This is Menudo.