This post will probably get my website blocked on a few corporate lists

The last episode of Phuntography is coming people, promise. But this morning (is it really September already?) I've awoken to the startling realization that I'm at least a few brain cells shorter in quantity, not to mention quality, than I was yesterday. Needless to say I'd be upset about this situation if only I had the 'upset brain cells' to be upset with. Instead I just don't really care and am happily drinking my orange juice and plotting all the wonderful things that will be done this afternoon with my time off. All hail a little time off. This also means that in lieu of a real post you get a few nibbly recountings of my night out, as I can't be bothered to stitch anything coherent and "value-added" together for you enjoyment.

Friday's are a good day to be hungover, if you could call my current state of airheadedness a hangover. I don't especially *feel* hungover but I *am* certainly ditzier than usual. Ditz, of course being, the Margaret barometer for "been out drinking last night. How drunk was I?" Observe. If I can't be bothered to style my hair, pretty drunk. Walking in to walls, only semi-drunk. Giggling uncontrollably as I recount the episodes the night before to my best friend in an email, baby buzz. Cuz you know, that pretty much happens every time I email her.

So yesterday I was supposed to do a photoshoot with a friend, but that totally fell through and I decided to go get drunk with another friend instead. I mean, why not? This is the part of the story where I should make it very, very clear that I never drink. Ever. My body just doesn't love having alcohol in it, not that it makes me sick or anything, but it much prefers a state of clarity, zen, and intelligence,er,ness. So I rarely, if ever, drink anymore. I must be approaching 30, cuz damn. I can't believe I just said that.

But last night I was happy to get blitzed and contrary to what my friend believes, I do know that 4 gin and tonics in the body of a trim woman who never, ever drinks are *NOT* in fact the equivalent of 4 beers in the body of a tall, full grown man who drinks beer almost every day. This was such a minor detail that I suggested we stay focused and keep drinking... and drinking... and then proceeded on to more drinking punctuated with a few nibbly things thrown in there just so we I wouldn't be sick. Plus we were at Brit's and their sausage rolls, scotch eggs, and fish & chips are so fucking good I could barely stop myself.

The highlight of our spontaneous outing had to be the trip to Sex World. Well!!! He was parked across the street, I needed a few supplies, *AND* that meant I wouldn't have to walk home. Even in my intoxicated state I still think like a champ - let that be a lesson to each and every one of you who goes out with me. The funny thing about going to Sex World is that you usually end up learning allllllll kinds of things about your friends, usually filed under the "too much information" category of course. My friend couldn't be persuaded in to buying anything, probably because his jaw was too agape as he endured a brain overload trying to cope with my virtuous being accompanying him in a sex shop and proceeding to point out all the pro's and con's of the various types of devices on their Gynormous Wall of Pleasure (it's a good thing too, he would have made some classic rookie mistakes).

Oh please, like *you* have never been to a Sex World! I'm just sayin', if you've never been to a Sex World then you haven't lived. And for goodness sakes I'd say upwards of 70% of their merchandise is pink... how could I *not* love a store with such taste? Yeah, did I just say that Sex World has taste? I suppose I did.

Waaaaaait a second, in my airheadedness I made a serious error in one of the above statements. The highlight of last night certainly wasn't the spontaneous shopping spree at Sex World, it was getting home and drunk calling my boyfriend in the middle of the night and, you know, proceeding to giggle at him as I recounted what I had been up to. To be fair I don't remember much of the conversation A) because I was still drunk and B) cuz I was too busy examining my pink purchases.

Ladies... any man who laughs and says, "Baby, just remember to turn it off before you pass out" is worth keeping.