It's just about time to get my head examined. So far as I can tell no one in their right mind would entertain the idea of writing an entire novel in one month. Alas, cruel free-stuff-giving readers, I've sunk to the levels of Steve and Joe and am flirting with the idea of writing a book.
Let's backtrack a bit, shall we?
Last year I spent two months worth of lunches listening to Steve and Joe go on and on about Nanowrimo, National November Novel Writing Month to the uninitiated. Basically the premise is to write a novel (50,000 words) in the month of November. *YAWN*, right? I only pretended to listen because the conversations were always over booze, fried food, and table football. Plus Joe made me the heroine of his story which was pretty cool since I enjoy being the center of attention. The month came to a wrap, both my guys finished their novels (well sort of, but they did their 50 thow) and I gave Steve a spiffy book cover that he had printed and everything. And EVERYTHING! Fun times, fun times.
Let's fast forward to yesterday. Yesterday I got an email from Bill over at Qoop, who's currently residing near the top of my most-emailed-this-week list, and at the end of it he made the remark, "And when you write your first book please let us print it." I actually snorted with laughter, out loud, before moving on to other things.
A few hours later, as I cozily read in bed, I started thinking to myself... "I could do this." And then I remembered Joe wrote a historical piece about flesh eating zombies, including an attack on parliament and several juvenile yet effective jokes about pants. And then I was all, "I can tooooootally do this."
I mean, why not?
There you have it. I'm *flirting* with the idea of writing a book by the end of this year but am coming up against one major obstacle, coincidentally the only obstacle.
I have no plot.
Not only do I have no plot, I have no idea, no characters, no voice, nothing. What I DO have is a shitload of video games that will serve me well when I'm 25,000 words in to this fucker and am looking for ways to procrastinate. I've never thought of myself as a writer but this sounds like fun. You know, if only I HAD A PLOT. I'll take suggestions if you guys have them, any help would be most appreciated. Plus I'd mention you in the credits and when the book is big and famous you can come to my snobby parties. I've thought about this a bit in the past 12 hours and am basically to the conclusion that there will be a few constraints if I can get it done in a month.
1) I'm not writing in dactylic pentameter.
2) Must have a plot.
3) It must be an idea I can really sink my teeth in to.
4) I have to write what I know. There's no time for researching much of anything.
The chance I'll think of a fantastic storyline and bring it all together by November 1st is still less than 40%... but I'm down. I'm hip. I'm with it. So far I've come up with the following ideas:
Comments
Deeper. Look deeper. The plot doesn't have to be too crazy. Besides most modern literature is character based. It's all about the people, baby.
Here's an idea:
"20-something, dot comer, fights through losing her job, moves to London and ventures through bad boyfriends before finding Mr. Fantastic."
Comedy, drama, and mushy romance all in one. (Iif you use that I get full credit) ;-)
Right, but where's the meat of the story? When it comes right down to it all the ideas I have usually end with the thought, "Why would anyone want to read that?" I need a gripping story-line that will take people right to the end.
Oops, forgot to add that I'm not Einstein when it comes to England. I'd have to do a LOT of research to get my places and names correct. I just don't think I have time for that if I finish this thing in 30 days.
You could always incorporate Sex World.......it has to do with pink :o)
I wrote convincingly about New York with only being there once when I was 10. Since the first draft is nothing really but the generic outline you don't have to get the minute details, just knowing that you're standing in say Trafalgar Square will suffice.
As for the story, it's all about Who, What, Where, When, Why and How.
Maybe she gets fired for sleeping with her boss (why). Which leads into, what was their relationship like? Who was he? Where does she live? Why is her dog always peeing on her neighbors flowers? Et cetera
The meat of the story comes from the central character and what's happening around her as she moves towards meeting Mr. Man.
Ok... I must admit it's growing on me.
But honestly Steve, if you saw this book at the bookstore would *YOU* read it?
omg. you should write me and my friend shelly's story. we keep saying that we're going to get together and write it, but i just can't write a book. i just can't. but it would make a damn funny book. something along the lines of sex in the city with a lot more weed.
Ha, that's *TOTALLY* my best friend's and my story too! Drunken weed stories (3am chicken fingers and tater tots always seem like a good idea), martinis, table dancing, "What was his name?"s, cross country road trips. Ha ha, those were the good times.
But I don't want to go to jail so I'm not writing *MY* story.
I may read it but I'd certainly buy it for my sister, who loves Chick-Lit (Jennifer Weiner, Bridget Jones, etc). Although one of my favorite writers is a woman, so I might have to say I would.
Plus I know the cover would be really good. Besides there is no greater brag than to say, "Yes. I've written a novel." Chicks dig it.
Wait...um...er...Guys dig it.
Okay, I have no idea what your novel will be about, but I just totally experienced deja vus while reading your comments. Anything you write will be pretty, witty, and fabulous! I'll certainly read it and I don't even *do* reading, okay?
I totally think you can work something I actually love all of your ideas they are pretty top-notch in my opinion. I was toying with the idea of entering but I'n not really sure if I can write that many words?? I have some topics in mind but really who wants to read about dominance??
Just make it funny, sassy, full of stupid stuff, and make sure it stars Sophie, the girl who always gets what she wants! I mean, you write in here every day, you name everything (your car, your cameras, probably your fridge) so get the imagination working! I'd like a bit part in it please, as a weedy english guy with bad hair and a Doctor Who fixation.
(and speaking of writing, keep an eye you-know-where, as you-know-what about Paris starts next week, and I have the cover illustration up to prove it ;) )
Oh, there would most *certainly* have to be guest appearances by a few people. Steve, for one, since he *did* put me in his book last year. And the weedy English guy as well.
I do feel a little guilty for the *ideas* I posted. I was totally kidding as none of them were meant to be taken in any sort of seriousness. We'll see what happens. I'll keep you guys posted on the progress.
Yeah, but I gave you a really small bit part, so you don't have to devote many pages to me.
Sophie and Steve Jobs: A Love Story
Star-crossed by platforms, they found romance. She was pixel-obsessed, he was picky about everything. Together, in a whirl of sartorial synchronicity and libidinous throw-down, they fell under each other's spell under the Silicon sky. They toast the Japanese dawn wearing matching mock-turtlenecks and discover Sophie's secret penchant for Unix while visiting a Shinto shrine.
What force could bring these two together? Could it be the mysterious fall wind called Ekodo that cascades over the Land of the Rising Sun? Or is it written in the source code?
Hmmm. I could see the source code angle. After all Darwin is Open Source.
I can see it now:
#include
#include
if (location == 0)
environ;
else
move(towards);
God, I need to get out more often.
Rat bastard HTMl stripped out my great includes. They read:
#include [sophie.h]
#include [stevejobs.h]
Char, you should *always* write for yourself and not to get an audience. I say DO IT!!!!!
Jeremy, sweet idea 'n all but more than half the book would be a commentary on his sneakers. I don't *do* sneakers, 'kay? Not to mention mock turtlenecks and plaids. And if it's my book, What Sophie Wants, Sophie Gets :).
Sure he's stuck in Seinfeld world fashion-wise. But he only eats fruits and nuts... and most importantly HE WORSHIPS the ground you even think about walking on!!!! But don't take my word for it, eschew the sneaks and let the fantasy come to you... with the Steve Jobs Dress Up Game
Sadly, I know (and blogged about) the kind of shoes that Steve Jobs wears. New Balance 991's.
Yes, I worship Steve Jobs.
Sophie - Then I shall! I', just a little afraid to do it {yeah I know, I blog and I'm scared to write} but that's writing some big shit!
Steve - I like his shoes :)