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The episode in which my cherry is taken by a cop

I just love hanging out with Steve if only for the very minor fact that I get to do things I wouldn't normally do. Like... give a random lucky squirrel the opportunity to eat 2 whole sticks of butter, trek to St. Paul outside its hours of normal operation (no one told me that at 5:30 St. Paul completely SHUTS DOWN unless you're drunk and/or crazy... or from Minneapolis as it turns out), eat myself in to a bacon-greased-induced coma, have an incident with a cop, or have almost ALL those things happen to you on the same night. Which of course was last night, but you'll have to substitute squirrel-porn for the squirrel-butter incident and then we'll be right as rain.

Steve bought a new car 10 days ago - "Stella", as he's named her (because she's Bella's cousin). Stella is officially the deepest relationship Steve has had with a woman in the past 2 years, so when it came to deciding who was going to drive to St. Paul for our little photo outing yesterday the obvious choice was Steve (but only because his DUI and 6 tickets have only recently been wiped clean off his driving record). Plus he promised to stay mostly sober for this trip - you know, to reduce the shake on his pictures.

Off we went.

Just as we're skirting St. Paul he pulls up next to a University of Minnesota rent-a-cop. Blah blah blah, we're talking and I'm mostly contemplating all the ways in which I can take this butch-chic-cop's picture without being hauled off to court and becoming somebody's bitch - all to a rather anti-climatic end because I'm a big pussy and couldn't bring myself to do it.

The light turns, off we go, and about 3 minutes later we're getting pulled over. HOLY SHIT WE'RE GETTING PULLED OVER, which for me is almost the equivalent of finding out I won the lottery. Only... not the good lottery, the bad rent-a-cop lottery in which I'm not allowed to document Steve being a dick to a University cop on University Avenue *sigh*. To make things even more interesting I, Margaret Andrews, have *never* been pulled over by a cop. Never. Ever. As in, in my ENTIRE LIFE! I know, right?

So (cutting to the chase now) there you basically have the climax of my lame, Wednesday night story. Steve shepherded me right in to my first experience with a real, live traffic cop all thanks to his mostly sober attention to detail. He got to be a dick. I got a picture of the cop in his rear-view mirror. AND I got to be witness to his getting a ticket within the first 10 days of owning a new car.

It's an exciting life I lead, truly.

You'll see some pictures from our outing over on Lumiere over the next couple of weeks, per normal (only all the photos from last night will be tagged with words "St. Paul" in a way that could only come from someone who loves on Minneapolis and not so much St. Paul).