Filed under "Things only my best friend would do", she's done it again. Of course this incident doesn't trump the ***Toilet Water™ incident. I think there's very few things that could ever top that stunt, but this one holds a special place in my heart.
... we'll get back to the ***Toilet Water™ stunt later ...
Apparently the clock was approaching 5 yesterday, which in Le Serial Cynica land rougly translates as "See-ya muthafuckers, I'MMMMMMMMMM OUTTA HERE!!!!!" Unfortunately the clock wasn't quite ticking fast enough, so to burn a few minutes she decided to do what she does every other day at this time. She went to the bathroom.
Please, like you've never tried to burn a few minutes that way.
So she went in the women's bathroom and took the larger of the two stalls because it has a mirror. And frankly she loves looking at herself almost as much as I love looking at pictures of myself. HEY WAIT A SECOND, WHERE DID *THAT* COME FROM?!?! The point being, she took the bigger stall. So she hikes up her little skirt and squats above the seat - Miss Cynica neeeeeeever, eeeeeeever sits on toilet seats. Best not to ask why, just accept that as fact. Ho hum, things are going along smoothly when someone else comes in the bathroom and enters the stall next to her.
Like clockwork, she checked out the shoes of said person to see who it might be. And at that moment she realized the door to her stall was WIIIIIIIDE open and loudly exclaimed, "OH MY GOD, I'M SO EMBARRASSSED!. The person in the next stall, a poor lass from the adjacent office, came in, saw Miss Cynica in all her glory, and didn't even make a single face or a peep. Bless her heart.
Man, that girl kills me.
***Toilet Water™: [Disclaimer: sopheava.com in no way endorses or recommends said actions, and would never, ever, ever attempt such tomfoolery] The incident in which said friend, in final days of employment with ex-employer, made boss's coffee with toilet water. She snuck in the bathroom, conveniently located next to the kitchen, took a big scoop of toilet water with the carafe, and proceeded to make boss's coffee just like every other day. I can't actually remember if she repeated the process when he told her, "It was great," and, "How about another pot!"
Comments
OH MY GOODNESS!! That was hilarious and so wrong, that is why I neeevveerr take the big stall!! At least my hand could catch the little stall door, what a nice lady to not say anything.
**humm considering toilet water for my last days somewhere...**
Huh??? What??? Toilet Water incident? You must be thinking of someone else. I would never be that vindictive towards a pompous chauvinistic old fart who thought it only appropriate that their web designer and VBA programmer make the coffee since she was the only woman in the office.
Oh. My. God. I would have died. I so want to quit my job, but we have a single bathroom. How do you a leave a place with all the nice, lovely privacy?!