Home :: About :: Contact :: Archives :: Thumbs

Montly archives

Friday's Feast

1. Appetizer - Describe your week in one word.
Productive.

2. Soup - Tell about a funny practical joke that you've played on someone (or that was played on you!).
One of my former bosses has a birthday today, and a few years ago after she left work the night of the 31st we shrink-wrapped her *ENTIRE* desk. Everything was covered in its own little celophane package. Every. Single. Item. It was pretty funny.

3. Salad - Name someone you had a crush on when you were a kid.
Matthew Nelson (the one who's standing), son of Ricki Nelson. Isn't his long blonde hair dreamy? *wink wink*

4. Main Course - If you were a member of royalty, what would your title be?
Her Royal Highness (and if I catch anyone giggling after saying 'highness' they *WILL* be punished!)

5. Dessert - What colors are the clothes you are wearing today?
♫I'm... ♫ in the mood... ♫ for spring ♫! I'm wearing brand new khaki pants with brown shoes, and a pretty light-blue top.

Google Gulp

Mmm, mmmm good!

Natches ;-).

Server migration project, AKA I need a life

This is sianara for a few days. I am officially launching in to my server migration project after lots of hoops with getting my computer back just the way I like it. Things will likely be a bit wonky during this processs, so I offer up apologies now.

See you on the other side.

Just a little Closer

Grrrrr... when I moved Ubershique to its new server last week it took all of 3 whole days to transfer everything (JOE, yes you, PLEASE NOTE I SPELLED EVERY SINGLE WORD IN THAT SENTENCE CORRECTLY!) And now the dickwads with power have decided to string out the transfer of sopheava as long as possible.

I so wasn't going to write until I had everything rebuilt, but seriously, not writing is going to make me explode (kind of like what Steve does if he doesn't get his pictures developed in one hour). ARE THEY DONE YET? ARE THEY DONE YET? ARE THEY DONE YET?

And now that I'm giving myself carte blanche of course there's NOTHING I can think about writing.

Wait, yes there is something. Today is a remarkable day if for no other reason than the fact that I LEFT THE HOUSE WITHOUT GLASSES ON for the first time in about 12 years *can see reflection of self doing jig*. Give or take, you know. Yesterday I went to the contact-doctor and received a couple of samples to try out... but it still freaks me out every time I go to the bathroom to see my reflection.

My NAKED-faced reflection.

Could my face BE any more naked?

And when did I get such huge circles under my eyes?

Man, I have some not-very-pretty eyes.

Glasses were good for a lot of reasons, and if I weren't looking so god damned fantastic in the cute little rose tinted glasses I just purchased I'd think about going back to the frames thing. Albeit there's this inkling deep inside that's just begging for me to head to the MAC counter at the mall so I can buy and pack 10 lbs. of eye-makeup on my face so I look like all the other caked-up make-up chicks walking around. Instead of the naked-faced freak with the cutest rose tinted sunglasses you ever did see.

I also watched the movie Closer last week. Correction. I watched the movie Closer about a dozen times last week. After all the Oscar hype, I decided to buy it for the mere, lone reason that Jude Law and Clive Owens were in it. Cuz YUM!

Hello, my name is Margaret and I'm shallow. Yes, it's the truth.

After the first viewing my initial thought was, "I can't believe I bought this fucking movie. Jesus!" Seriously... it was NOTHING like I thought it would be after all the buzz and hype.

My second thought was, "I wonder if Clive Owens and/or Jude Law will ever read my website and fall fantastically in love with me. Cuz if they ever saw me in rose tinted glasses they'd be on the first plane to Minneapolis (and if you go from Gatwick, there's a nice little direct flight via NWA)."

Third came, "I feel... disturbed. I think I'm gonna go take a shower."

But then I watched it again. And again. And again and again and again. And every single time I watched it something new surfaced. It has now turned transformed and evolved in to one of my favorite movies. Of all time. It's so completely fucked in every way that I have fallen head over heels for it.

There you have it.... the utter and total nonsense that's been dying to find its way to you the past 3 days. Whew. Ok. NOOWWWWWW I'll see you on the other side!

Celebratory moments

My parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary this weekend.

Isn't that truly amazing? FORTY FIVE YEARS! You can read all about it here if you like. My dad made me cry a little bit with that entry *sniff*. Congratulations!!!

I was speaking to my mom on the phone a few evenings ago and she told me about what they did the day of their anniversary. They decided to "take a drive", as they often do and "ended up" visiting my brother and his family at his home. Then they went to my sister's house for a while... to which I proudly exclaimed with tears welling up... "YOU VISITED YOUR CHILLLLLLLDREN ON YOUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!" And she got a sniffly, "Yeeeeeeeeeeah" before I got in a sniffly, "Awwwwwwwwwwww."

That is what life's about. Through all their difficult times, it's by their family they know they did something right.

I'm still shocked and amazed my server hasn't transferred yet and completely take back all the nice things I've ever said about myself knowing ANYTHING about computers. In the meantime, I've decided to try to force it out of them by bombarding them with traffic.

So I present Music I Love™ for your listening pleasure. Right-click save-as please. Actually, I'm leaving this webhost momentarily... so do whatever strikes your fancy. Stream away for all I care. Click away!

-- Kelly Clarkson - Since You've Been Gone (for my pop-music'd sista... and Steve too, cuz damnit, you need to be cultured!)
-- Lamb - Gold (this song is one of my all time favorites - the stand up bass is dead sexy)
-- The Prodigy - Hotride (cuz it's springtime and you need a loud, bass-thumping driving song)
-- Balthazar - Red Sand (exotic and sexy)
-- Lenny Kravitz - I Belong To You (apparently that song belongs to me cuz I'm probably the only one who loves it)

The vast and wide depths of the internet

Damn. He wasn't kidding..... Bad idea to leave übergeeks alone at night with the vast and wide depths of the internet.

Cuz then you find stuff like... getting perpendicular.

Via Stylegala. Man I love those guys!

You can't get rid of me that easy

Quite the productive weekend I've been having! I would have been back online sooner... but, uh.... I was just doing other stuff.

Margaret stuff.

Like going on another little photography-adventure with him (and you neeeeeeed to ask him about the next book he's writing: The Lazy Photographer's Guide to Lazy Photography, I think it'll be a smash hit!!!).

But Lumiere and I are back... and with a new look celebrating the goodness of London. Quickie skins are for winners, yo! Skinning is henceforth disabled until after I return from *Le European Vacation* because, well, it's my website I can do whatever I want to.

Enjoy the goodness of London!

I believe

My dad recently posted about things he believes in. Man, that guy is getting sentimental in his older age.

The challenge to his children was to make a very spontaneous list of things we believe in. No pressure, of course. So.... uh... here's my list.

EVERYONE. MUST. PARTICIPATE. Bring on your lists and bring them on now.

Love
Power of music
The purity of babies (animals included) - their laughs are sheer magic
Stove cooked, buttered popcorn
The Source (something greater than all this that I can't see but can feel)
Intuition
Family
Bonfires
Best friends, that are less like best friends and more like an 'other half'
Foot rubs
Sexuality / Sensuality
A day at the lake / beach
A slow, intimate dance
Crisp white shirts and cologne
Honesty
Side splitting laughter
Nighttime - under the stars of the country or warm light of the city.
Cooking a fresh shrimp dinner on New Year's Eve with loved ones

Could I *BE* any more disconnected?!?!

This is the biggest FYI in the history of FYIs...

I came in to work this morning to find that my company has blocked all access to internet based email. This means if *ANY* of you have been trying to email me, it'll probably be, at the very least, a full day until I get back to you.

This is horrible.
A catastrophe.

Many, many apologizes for your inconviences.

*le sigh* Poor me.

Random confab

Two more days.

T.W.O.

And I am soooooooooooo *not* packed yet, which isn't fair to the one dress sitting in my luggage. That dress was ready 3 weeks ago - and got it on with my passport as soon as it possibly could. They're living a cozy life together in the nook of my living room.

I figure that if nothing else gets packed but umbrella I should be armed and ready for whatever England can dish out.

Perhaps the reeeeeeaal question is: Is England ready for me?!?!

Forget the albinism, look at the HAIR!

What each of you wanted to see on Tuesday, I'm quite sure: 19th Century Images of Albinism.

The guy in the first pictures, with the bufont, kills me. Man oh man, I don't know how I'll survive witout the internet for 11 days.

I was just granted the express pass

My very best friend kills me. Apparently someone named "Lui Bulveda" (Loo-ie Bull-veh-duh) has contacted her on an online dating site.***

In our sick and warped minds, "Lui Bulveda" too closely resembles "Gooey Vulva". And I swear to you that if my friend attempt marriage with a Gooey Vulva I will throw myself in front of the altar to stop the insanity of my friend being Mrs. Gooey Vulva, with all her little Gooey Vulva's running around.

My side still hurts from that one.

***I just know Google is gonna pick this shit up, that Lui is gonna find this entry, and my express pass to Hell will be solidified. Apologies Lui, but you have to admit, that's pretty fucking funny.

The sport of packing

I'm taking a break from packing at the moment. Women have just WAYYYYYY too much going on when trying to tackle this whole "packing" issue. There's colors, seasons, season changes, shoes, morning, evening, mid-day, jewelery, hair, make-up, hygeine, gifts, presents, photography hardware, and traveling issues (to name a scant few) to be considered.

Men, please take a moment to realize this.

Thank you.

So I've still only got a passport and dress packed, but there's now piles of things I'll be requiring for this trip neatly piled around my dining room floor. And for the next 24 hours I'll be constructing and deconstructing all the ways in which I can bring as many pairs of shoes, outfits, and layers as possible.

What I really need is a male traveling companion so that I can have him bring an extra suitcase for me.

Then I would have 3, he would have 1, and the world would once again be at peace.

Amen.

Sometimes I wonder...

Ever ask someone a question, and by the time you're done asking them the question you're already on to the next thought and don't actually hear the response? So then you ask them the same question about 5 minutes later when you start thinking about it again only to get a very irritated conversationalist making contorted faces *at* you, mostly wondering how many ways someone can be so incompetent as to ask a question and completely ignore the response, sometimes not even remembering that you just asked the question a few moments beforehand?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Here's another one for women in the audience today. Ever been driving and close your sunroof (or on occasion windows) only to find out that you've closed the sunroof / window on your hair?

Man I hate that.

Dear internet *sniff*,

Saying goodbye is turning out to be real, real hard! I do believe this will be the longest I've been without internet in... well, *YEARS*. Don't tell my English friend, but if I have my way I'll be popping in to an internet cafe once or twice to make sure the proper amount of tomfoolery is going down around here.

There will be guest posters, there will be guest poster pictures, and she has the keys to the kingdom in case enough mischief isn't being had.

Got it?

Steve posted this picture of me this morning, which is ironic because if you're English, it shouldn't be difficult to pick me out of the Londonium crowd. I'll look just like this only I won't be wearing sandals. And I'll probably have fish and chips in one hand. And a cigarette in the other.

Er wait, that's Paris.

Sayonnara sweet internet. I'll see you when I get back!

~Sophie

PSSSST.......is she gone yet?

cuz if she is....let the tom foolery commense!

~Plarge

Wellington Ahoy! (& Friday Feast)

Hello! I'm Wellington (though you can call me Roger), and I'm one of the guest posters whilst Margaret is away. I'm probably only supposed to do a couple of days, but the power has gone to my head (MWAH HA HA HA HA!), so I’m gonna try and post something every day. I mean, I’d stick to the rules, but I just don’t *do* rules, m’kay?

I’m the one who lives in England (York, actually, fact fans), so whereas Margaret is flying FAR away from you, London is only about 250 miles away from me, so I can probably tell you what the weather’s like while she’s here. Currently: grey and overcast, quite frankly. I hope she’s brought a warm coat and a wooly scarf, as it might be a bit of a shock stepping off the plane. I have, of course, notified Customs that she’s carrying all manner of contraband, so as we speak she’ll be having all 17 suitcases emptied out and carefully scrutinised ("You seem to have rather a lot of shoes for such a short trip, Madam"). I’ve given her lots of ideas for cool places to go whilst in London (as I know the place very well), but I’m not convinced she was paying the slightest bit of attention (when did she ever?).

Anyway, in case anyone else isn’t doing this, let’s keep it traditional today:

APPETIZER:
What was your first "real" job?

I worked in a bingo hall! Lots of old ladies waiting patiently for death whilst ticking off numbers on a board, and I ran around in a natty red jacket and dinky little black bow tie, taking their money off them (and sometimes giving lots more back). Still, it got ‘em out of the house and meeting people, and we only ever had two fatalities in there, both due to old age (nothing to do with me, I swear). What a terrible, terrible job that was!

SOUP:
Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity?

Like Margaret, I’m a designer, though I do print based graphic design. If I hit a block in creativitiy, I usually have a stroll around the city centre, look at posters, pick up a few postcards, and just kinda… absorb, y’know? I take it all in, and let it… inspire me…
Oh, alright, I pinch other people’s ideas, happy now?

SALAD:
Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when...

I do something stupid and get caught in the act. Most days, then. Not happened today yet, but it’s still only lunchtime.

MAIN COURSE:
What values did your parents instill in you?

Hmmm… hard to say as I’m selfish, egotistical, vain, foolish and lazy.
So all of the above, then.

DESSERT
Name 3 fads from your teenage years.

1) We had those clicking balls things – called ‘clackers’ I think. Basically it was a piece of string, with a hard ball (very much the same consistency as a pool ball) on each end. You held the string in the middle, and bounced the balls against each other DINK! DINK! DINK! like that, and when you got REALLY good, you could do all sorts of crazy, highly dangerous tricks with them, like stunning small cats or smashing toy cars. Just about the most dangerous child’s toy ever made. What were they thinking of? They were finally banned when a couple actually exploded. I think.

2) Making our own water guns. So okay, this was before you could get these high-powered water pistols, okay? So in the summer we’d use washing up liquid bottles, take out buckets of water, and have HUGE water fights in the street. I’m telling you, you can fire up to FIFTY YARDS with them suckers. It’s a wonder I was never arrested.

3) tie dye t-shirts. We made our own in art class. Why did I ever think I looked good in one?

Right – who’s guesting next today?

Wellington (Roger)

Guest Posting Rules!

Hello all! This is your friend Rachael, of Yumjunkie fame. Well maybe not fame. Maybe we should say of little notoriety. I was supposed to take Friday and Saturday guest posting responsibilities, but I'm sick and I spent yesterday on lots of really good anti-histimines so guest posting probably wasn't such a good idea. But I'm here now, so let's get on with it, shall we?

So how did I wind up guest posting on Sophie's blog? Well a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away I dated Steve. I know! Craziness. We're talking a really long time ago, in a time in my life that's sort of...fuzzy. Anyway, one day I found Steve's blog and through his blog I found our Margaret.

So I promised Margaret embarrassing Steve stories, but all I can remember is embarrassing Rachael stories, now that I think about it, and we don't want to hear any those, do we??

Ok maybe one embrarrassing Steve story. We were driving back to his house in the rain and some guy cut him off. So he decided he had to get back at him by doing the same. But instead of cutting him off, he rear ended some poor little old lady that barely spoke english. After the accident the first thing out of his mouth is "My car!!!" Not, "Are you ok?" He loooooved that car. From what I remember he said that even if he bought another car he was keeping that one. That car was a teal Geo Storm. Do ya still have it Steve?

THRILLS

Happy Sunday you little blog seekers. What does everyone do on a sunday afternoon? Let me guess. Sleep in. Drink coffee. Perhaps do a little grocery shopping. Go home. Search the internet. Get bored with that then go on a nice stroll outside. Go home eat some dinner then go to bed. Oh, that is so nice!
well I prefer a thrill. By that I don't mean anything too crazy. I prefer to hang from a rope 50 feet and plus off of the ground. I suggest all of you try it also! of course you should seek professional help with this before attempting such an act. I strongly recommend trying something you have never tried before.
This is your motivational speech for the day. I mean when was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone? HM? Maybe it's not as extreme as rock climbing, maybe it's just saying hello to a stranger(not the really creepy ones though). ok, how about rollerblading? How about going to a new coffee shop?
Well I say go for it! Life is too short to take a sunday drive(except to go to cold stone ice cream shop). Oh, and for all of you seeking to hang 50 feet in the air I am available for a fee, which usually involves chocolate. Ok, I am off. See y'all tomorrow.....
---Shea---

Watch out, I have Femme Boost

Good morning everybody in Margaret's little corner of the world. I didn't get around to posting friday, so I thought I'd make for it by posting on Sunday. I'm sorry Shea, but I am not spending my Sunday morning hanging 50 feet in the air. But I am spending it being able to breathe through my nose again, and for me, that's an accomplishment at this point.

I thought I would share something with you, non-Steve related. I had my first Jamba Juice experience on Friday. Last sunday I met the General Manager of my local Jamba and she gave me free smoothie coupons. So I figured they had vitamin boost thingies so I'd go in and she'd make me feel all better.

The girl working the register had Side-Show-Bob hair. So I got a smoothie with a "femme boost." Then the girl who I knew from the cubs game came out and added like three other boosts. Then she made me drink wheat grass. Which actually wasn't bad. Then she fed me a pretzle and another wheatgrass juice just for good measure.

I was in Jamba Juice for one hour. And I was still sick the next day. I think I'll go back and get the rest of my free smoothies tho.

Dating Follies

Good Sunday afternoon Sophie fans! This is Le Serial Cynica, the 3rd guest blogger of the day. I also happen to be the topp-Dawg in charge of posting everyone's guest photos on Le Super Cool Photoblog. Everyone really needs to go and appreciate the coolness ;)

Per Ms. Andrew's instructions ("Your days are.... Sunday the 17th (you'll have some good weekend stuff to post for that one :) and Wednesday the 20th. Sound good? GREAT!") I am here to share a neat little tidbit of my "good weekend stuff."

Here's a little background info to get you in the mood:

About 3 weeks (or so) ago I began dating one of those “Looks Great on Paper” guys. He did all the right things, had a great career, recognized my needs, showered me with affection and small tokens of appreciation, blah, blah, blah, blah. HOWEVER, he also sucked the ever-loving life out of me because it seemed that he ALWAYS wanted to be all up in my freaking biznatch }:( Not. Cool. Must... have....space!!

So this weekend, I decided to take my space and spend some time alone, at home, enjoying the goodness that is me and a boatload of silence. Ahhhhhh... :) Well, my boyfriend, and I use that term loosely, decided that a drunken, unannounced visit after the midnight hour would be the perfectly appropriate moment to share with me how much he truly cares. He cared so much, in fact, that he rang my doorbell like some sort of deranged psychopath stalker for well over 10 minutes until I finally got up and kindly chewed him a new asshole before slamming the door in his face. He had successfully managed to interrupt my peaceful evening, stumble over my daughter’s flowerbed (thus killing her little plants), and royally piss me off for not respecting my need for personal space. Good move there, lover boy.

This afternoon, I received an email from my ex-boyfriend that contains the following lines:

"You have many qualities that any man should respect and desire in a woman. It makes me feel...I have to be perfect and consistently impress you...I try my best."

My reaction to that? Very simple. Never try so hard to impress someone that you end up becoming someone that you're not. It never works and chances are that in the end you'll end up disrespecting yourself as well as the person you care about. Women love impressive men, but they DON'T love men who try to impress. May I also add that public drunkenness and childlike behavior is not even REMOTELY cute coming from a 37 year old man?

WTF, mate? Are there ANY normal men out there that are still good on paper?? Sheesh!

In other news....

I'M SINGLE AGAIN!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Wellington for Pope

I'm awaiting the call to be announced as the new Pope. I'm not at all religious and know very little about Catholicism, but I do quite fancy wearing a big Pope hat, and telling jokes every Sunday from that balcony he speaks from. I'd wave to the crowds, do a quick blessing, and then start the comedy routine in me big Pope hat: "Jam... tigers... there's a combination... wouldn't you like to smear jam on a tiger's head and make a run for it and see what happened?" etc.

And he has a massive big papal mansion. I bet it has a swimming pool. Do you reckon he has nuns to do the washing up for him? And give him personal massages? I bet he does.

I quite liked the idea of the Popemobile, but it was rubbish, wasn't it? Looked like a giant ice cream van. I'd have a much groovier Popemobile, made out of a customised 1950s Chevy. Loads of buttons inside on the dashboard (cigarette lighter, a horn that goes HONK!, chocolate dispenser, rocket launcher, you know the kind of stuff). And I''d have a Popeboat too. And a Popecopter. And I'd get into merchandise in a big way too. Bathroom products first.

'Pope on a rope'.

I think I need more caffeine.

Roger (otherwise known as Wellington)

SchoolAge

Guten Tag! Am I the only one who is above 25 years of age and attends school? uh! Can you believe I couldn't get my good student discount on my car insurance because there is an age limit? The nerve of American Family! Too old---puuleeeze! If anything they should give you an even bigger discount based on the facts that you may work full-time or you pay rent unlike 19 year olds living at home. But I guess that is why I go to school for Interior Design and I don't work at insurance company. (Sorry if you work at an insurance company, I am sure you're a very nice person!). Ok, thanks for listening. Peace out.
---Shea---

prêt-à-porter

Now I'm going to butt in ahead of schedule to rant and rave and be the general curmudgeon that I am because I have a rant that is close to our dear friend's heart: good design versus bad design. Besides I have permission to be my usual self.

Good design functions on multiple levels. It appeals to the neccessary senses, e.g. the eyes if it's a visual product, while making the use of the product more natural and instinctive. The iPod is the example du jour of incredible industrial and consumer design. It functions flawlessly as a device while appealing to any number of aesthetic ideals. Jonathan Ive, Apple's Vice President of Industrial Design has consistently set this bar of design high for Apple with the iBook, the iPod, the incredibly beautiful "sunflower" iMac, and the stunning Titanium and Aluminium (pronounced Al-Ew-Min-E-Um - you're welcome Welly). Apple has consistently been the gold standard for product design. However, they now have a friend in the game.

Target has long been seen as a low cost, but design conscious, company. Mizrahi, Mossimo, and Graves are names that any Target shopper and most fashionistas will find familiar. They give Target an aura of haute couture while keeping costs down, appealing to a more hipper crowd than, say, the Kathy Lee collection. Target however, has just entered hallowed halls along side the likes Apple with their new prescription pill bottle. A redesign of the entire bottle to make each bottle recognizable, increase the readability of the information, and make life easier for both pharmacist and patient. Including Color coding the bottles, intelligent expiration, info attached, and an improved intake schedule.

From the article in the New York Metro:

That my friends, is good design. And now the curmudgeonly portion. I *had* a nice, shiny (read: stolen) image that I was going to post along with the my comments but Maggs doesn't like me tinkering with things. [whine]You never let me have any fun![/whine]

Found via BoingBoing

Love,
Steve

brrrr!

Latest weather news here in England - still cold, grey and wet. I hope Margaret brought lots of wooly jumpers and a scarf or two. Oh, and a brolly. I'm wondering if she actually brought the bad weather with her, to be honest - I mean, just before she arrived, Spring had sprung, it was warm, sunny, leaves appearing on the trees, pretty flowers everywhere - and NOW look at it. It's freakin' freezing, let me tell you. So if you see any sunny blue skies in her photos when she gets back, she Photoshopped 'em in, don't let her fool you.

Roger (Wellington)

cats and horses

MY official day at last! Feel free to butt in though, everyone! My day is your day!

A lovely sunny day here in ye olde England today, all sunny, warm and bright - so guess who's come down with a cold? It's like Fate is mocking me (waving my fist defiantly at Fate!). Still, I did get to spend some time with the cat out in my back garden, which was luvverly.

He's got this hate thing going with another cat, who keeps taking the mickey and butting in on Doc's territory (my cat is called Doc - just deal with it, 'kay?), so rather than relax with me on the bench, he spent most of his time sniffing around and leaving his scent everywhere, which is so gross I don't even want to think about it.

If Margaret's been able to find time to watch any British telly, highlights this past week have been the finale of 'Casanova', the Snooker World Championships starting (come on Ronnie O'Sullivan) and two episodes of the incredible Doctor Who (second one due on Saturday night) - though I suspect she's been FAR too busy having fun to see ANY of this stuff.

I nodded off this afternoon, and dreamt that those bloody farmers who live opposite were using my back garden as a show jumping room with their DAMN HORSES! I have no farmers opposite. There are no horses. I must eat less cheese...

Roger (Wellington)

Comic Value

Did you hear about the guy that fell from the top level of RFK Stadium during a baseball game in Washington? According to eye witnesses he fell between the ramps on your way up. Now let me explain here a little, if you have never been to a huge stadium generally there are ramps that you walk up.....and they wind up in a circle...corkscrew style.

It seems that he fell between the ramps hitting his head and spinning out of control on his way down. Now I feel for this guy, I really do but there is some comic value to it. It reminds me of a bugs bunny cartoon where on his way down he should hold up a sign saying...

"Yikes"

I kinda feel bad now....sorry

~Plarge

Cheers mate

Hello loves! IT'S ME FROM MERRY OLDE ENGLAND!!!!

I've somehow managed to find a computer for a few moments, but I must apologize because in these few precious moments I have to write to you this post would probably double in size if this keyboard weren't so god damned fucked up, all the eff'ing letters in strange eff'ing places. WHO PUTS DOUBLE QUOTES ABOVE THE 2 I ASK OF YOU?!?!

Aside from the tomfoolery going down on this keyboard I'm having THE most fantastic time here. Contrary to what Welly says, every single day, no matter where I am, the sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The clouds are parting. And unfortunately this means I've been sunburnt on my face for a majority of the trip. I KNOW, RIGHT?! Don't worry, I will have lots and lots of unphotoshopped pictures to prove it.

So, in conclusion before I fly back on Sunday I will give you a brief rundown of the highlights of the trip thus far:

• Have spent an inordinate amount of time hot tubbing. Hot tubbing in the daytime (getting sunburnt), hot tubbing at nighttime under the stars, jacuzzi'ing in fabulous hotels. My skin has never been so soft and luuvely.
• Steve sooooooooooo needs to come visit this place, if only for the reason he would get to photograph castles. I spent a few days in Arundel, one of which was spent walking around castle grounds taking pictures of dried up motes, teeny tiny recreations of lords and ladies, and "Dreadful, ugly old" paintings (as one 70-something old man said to his wife). Ha, that made me laugh.
• Eating wayyyyyy too much food and loving every second of it. Fish 'n chips. Kebab. Ploughman lunches. Barbeque. Marmite. Mmmmmmmmm.... I would like to have a word with the person who thinks sweet popcorn is in. Because they've obviously never tasted MY popcorn and the English need to realize that buttery, salty popcorn should be rocking their world.
• Walking around every part of the country with my lovely assistant, spending much of the time barking orders at him like "Here, hold this lens. Give me my film, and make it quick cuz WE'RE GOING TO MISS THE LIGHT!!! MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!!!" I have taken quite a number of photographs and am heading off in mere moments to get a shot of a guard in front of the palace for my sister. Because I told her I would (I know, I'm nice like that :). Lots of great photos will be headed your way when I get back.

That's all for now - I miss you guys and will see you when I get home.

Kiss kiss,
~Sophie

Spring and Friday Feast, fact fans!

She's right you know - the past couple of days it has been getting progressively warmer and progressively Springier here in England. It's always better weather in London than it is here in York (250 miles further south - makes ALL the difference), but even so, today has been just delightful. I still have a sniffly cold so took the day off work again, but this afternoon was spent mainly in my garden, where I mowed the lawn - very satisfying, and it looks just fab out there now. Not quite warm enough for sunbathing on the grass, but definitely getting there.

Well, lovely though it was to hear from Margaret, I can't help but notice that in her giddy excitement, she forgot to do a Friday Feast. Consequently *sigh* it looks like it's up to me again:

Appetizer: Name something that helps you fall asleep.
erm... well there's the obvious (keep it clean, boy!), but to be honest, I always read at the end of the night. Always the last thing I do every day, a little quiet reading time to myself. It inevitably sends me to sleep, no matter how good the book / comic is - a lovely way to end the day.

Soup: Who brings out the best in you?
I respond well to encouragement and constructive criticism. And anyone who shows a real interest in me. I'm a sucker for compliments too, I really am.

Salad: What do you like to do on a rainy day?
Rainy days are for reading and relaxing and staying in. Not getting dressed and pottering about in a dressing gown. Being lazy and watching dumb daytime telly. Eating a big bowl of ice cream, and then maybe another (I can just wolf it down - I've always been slim, and can pretty much eat what I like without putting weight on). Or if I'm feeling crazy and it's not too cold, walking in the rain, giggling, and getting soaking wet. Smiling at people's funny rain faces. Arriving home drenched and happy. If I was a dog, I'd then have a good old shake in the hallway!

Main Course: Complete this sentence: In our home, we never have enough...
...ice cream, because I keep eating it on rainy days.

Dessert: Which shoe do you put on first?
hmmm... just tested this one, and it's the right shoe. Is that because I'm right handed? I have no idea.

Right - Margaret is back imminently! Get your guest posting in now before she gets home, locks the door behind her, and we all get kicked back into the comments boxes! Quick!

roger (Wellington) x

Dub me dunce

Well hello everyone I was trying to get my entry done before Mags posted *shrugs*. I know I'm new to her blog but of course her designs lured me in and then exchanging emails with her just made me see how cool of a person she is so here I am guest bloggin'! *Thanks Mags*

So what's the deal with me exactly who am I? Well I'm just a plain ol California girl that's what! I'm completely addicted to odd news stories and saw a few that you all might find interesting/sick/weird [feel free to take your pick ;)].

Breastfed Tiger Cubs
Expensive Yawn
Off with a Bang

Everyone enjoy your friday and if you need a pick me up click here!

char a.k.a california girl

Guest Posting Whore

Just because I love mucking up other people's blogs, and I can't think of anything to write on my own, I'm back. So some of us touched on the whole single vs. married thing a few posts back. That's something that's been on my mind quite a bit as of late. Everybody who knows me says I don't realize that I'm married. Sounds bad, right? No, I'm not out screwing everything that moves. I haven't ever cheated on my husband in fact. But I spend most of my time with my friends. Out of the house. Going out. Running away.

You meet someone and you're 20 years old and they seem to be the perfect person. The nicest person you've ever met at least. You know no matter what, that person is never, ever going to hurt you, not purposely. But is that enough to carry you through an entire lifetime? How do you get through an entire life with one person? It seemed so simple a few years ago when I got married and when I was engaged. Now? Not s'much.

See? I totally couldn't post this on my blog!

Is she back yet?

Maggs, I know you'll be back soon, but I wanted to say "Hurry up." Your city misses you:

Hehe. Since you won't let me post images from *your* server, I'll go hot-link some other handsome chap

Cheers,
Steve

Psst...

I have a date next Tuesday with Gooey Vulva.

What??? He's hot!

And I'm SINGLE!!

I'll let you know how it goes ;)

Turn Off Your TV Week

So I'm going to be lazy and cross-post this elsewhere. I know that Maggs will be back soon, so this may be the last post before she gets back and cleans things up. But until then, you're stuck with my ranting.

This week (04/25-05/01) is Turn Your TV Off Week. While it is long known that I don't like TV, I'm here to give your reasons to turn yours off for a week. So do something: read a book, take a picture, or to quote Bender, from Futurama"Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"

TV shows do not cite their sources like books, magazines or even some web sites thereby giving everything they say equal amounts of authority. TV, by this very flaw, could announce that walking gives you cancer, and that statement would be as true, without having to cite sources or reinforcement for its claim, as the fact that New York City is in the state of New York. And due to the fact that we are by nature passive consumers of television, and everything on it, that we naturally accept any pronouncements made.

Television as a medium is an incredibly powerful force for homogenizing the population. Each and every person who watches TV watches in the same controlled manner as everyone else, with perhaps the sole exception of Tivo viewers who can at a minimum skip commercials. But leaving them aside for the sake of the argument, they constitute a small percentage of TV viewers, TV is the great equalizer. Black, white, yellow, purple, educated, illiterate, poor, rich, Red, Blue, male, female, adult, or child view TV in the exactly controlled manner that the TV executives, and by proxy advertisers, want. There is some variations in programming, Discovery Channel versus Reality shows for example, in terms of shows but the formula is still consistent. TV shows are typically around 25-26 minutes long with commericals showing every 7 minutes.

Here are some statistics from TVTurnOff.org

Television also happens to be the biggest contributing factor to obesity, in both children and adults. According to research Havard's School of Public Health

Given all of the negatives associated with TV (and the relatively small number of positives) perhaps we should, as Marilyn Manson put it, "Kill your God. Kill your TV."

London survived... ME!

I've made it home!!!... and there wasn't even any kicking and screaming in the airport.

London was lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely! So was the south of England. Really people, this trip was so fantastic I don't think I'll even be able to articulate to you the miracle that it was.

....*a bloody happy sigh* ....

Unfortunately I'm rather tired, being on London time 'n all (I've just always wanted to say that) so a bigger, longer post will be in order tomorrow when I have my wits about me. Huh huh. I know how the majority of you like it big 'n long 'n stuff.

Must... sleep... now. Go check out the first photo in a series of about one jizillion on Lumiere.

I missed you guys and a *HUGE, GYNMOROUS, MUSHY* thank you to everyone who guest posted while I was gone. I swear that you have been having more fun without me around!

*squishes everyone in a big group hug*

You guys are the best.

Cats and Horses (Translated by Miss Sophie)

MY official day at last! Feel free to butt in though, everyone! My day is your day!

It's me Roger, and we might as well get off on the right foot - since it's allllll about me. I have blog-envy, I'm going to blog a lot, and if anyone steps on my blogging toes I'll kick their blog asses with lots of British words that were completely made up in response to the intelligent and witty use of the English language by Americans. We mostly hate you for using the language better than we ever could.

A lovely sunny day here in ye olde England today, all sunny, warm and bright - so guess who's come down with a cold? It's like Fate is mocking me (waving my fist defiantly at Fate!). Still, I did get to spend some time with the cat out in my back garden, which was luvverly.

England's weather is piss poor, per normal, and I'm the worst at going to bed at a decent hour. So I stay up until 4 in the morning every night chattering away on the internet or reading and re-reading Sopheava's blog because I can hardly take my eyes off her wit and brilliance. When I grow up I hope I can attempt to become a photographer as fantastic as she is. Then I wake up at 1 in the afternoon and tell work I'm *cough cough* sick, which is complete horsey-doo-doo because I really just want to stay in and watch the last episode of Dr. Who over and over and over again until I pass out in a state of sheer happiness and contentment from reaching capacity geekness. The cat has attitude, my tea is cold, Sophie can't even bother a trip to York, and the weather is shit. But at least I can lay on the couch all day with a bag of potato chips within arms reach.

He's got this hate thing going with another cat, who keeps taking the mickey and butting in on Doc's territory (my cat is called Doc - just deal with it, 'kay?), so rather than relax with me on the bench, he spent most of his time sniffing around and leaving his scent everywhere, which is so gross I don't even want to think about it.

My cat takes after me and has Male Testosterone Issues™. Basically he wants every female cat to himself and until he has a good bonking will continue strutting around the house in attitude, pissing in the corners just because he can. Can't really blame the little guy for wanting a good shag, can you?

If Margaret's been able to find time to watch any British telly, highlights this past week have been the finale of 'Casanova', the Snooker World Championships starting (come on Ronnie O'Sullivan) and two episodes of the incredible Doctor Who (second one due on Saturday night) - though I suspect she's been FAR too busy having fun to see ANY of this stuff.

Blah blah blah. I don't know what to write anymore so I'm going to speak in British television code because none of you Yank's are cultured enough to know if I'm blabbing or genuinely geeked out enough to have my head stuck in sci-fi and reality TV every free moment. Which of course I do, but that's totally besides the point.

I nodded off this afternoon, and dreamt that those bloody farmers who live opposite were using my back garden as a show jumping room with their DAMN HORSES! I have no farmers opposite. There are no horses. I must eat less cheese...

Huh huh, I just like, took my medication 'n stuff and am feeling rather... happy. Aaaahhhhh, look at the beautiful.... colors. I think I'll go make a pot of tea and put my bee-hind in the kitchen where it belongs. Aahhh.

Roger (Wellington)

Awwww, I'm taking the piss but I think Roger's fabulous and did an OUTSTANDING job guest posting every day while I was running around his countryside. I've been trying to convince him for AGES that he needs his own blog but will he listen?!?! NOOOOOO!!! I'm ready to start a petition if only we can have more posts like the one about the Popecopter™ and Pope-On-A-Rope™. Oh please Welly, won't you start a blog?

I've got the goods

I know everyone is dying to see England pictures and hear England stories, so hear me out for a mere moment.

Ok.

I've got a boatload of stuff to do (including for many of you) and am very, very sorry for not being able to post anything sooner... however I have a plan. This is my plan for tonight...

Item #1) Go home from work
Item #1.b) Put on kick ass music REAL, REAL loud
Item #2) Clean house
Item #2.b -optional-) Vacuum house if inspired
Item #3) Shower
Item #4) Put on clean PJs
Item #5) Sit down at computer and post a photo on Lumiere
Item #6) Respond to several emails. All of them (which means probably every one of you guys reading this will get an email from me tonight...)
Item #7) Scan 6 photos to share with the world on Sopheava (will repeat this exercise for a couple of days). Use stories and anecdotes to quench your demanding thirsts for vacation details.
Item #8) Acupuncture
Item #9) Rethink item #8 and decide it might go after cleaning house, before nap - which just got added -, which is before sitting down at computer. Must. Relax.
Item #10) Send off final email
Item #11) Go to sleep

Wow, now you guys can say you've got a date with me. Cuz you totally do if you want the goods.

Enjoying England

As promised, I've gathered the first sampling from my trip abroad for your viewing pleasure.

Earlier today Steve was scolding me, demanding that I start posting pictures. Ok dood listen. I took about 600 of them and am NOT scanning, cropping, and resizing all of them so you guys can see what went down. Plus, then I wouldn't have anything to post on Lumiere. So I asked him, "What would you like to see pictures of? I've got the countryside, small villages, castles, cathedrals, central London, the Tube, Big Ben, Westminster, Kensington Palace, the guards, the changing of the guard, flowers, gardens, Piccadilly, animals, people... you name it, I got it."

He said, "Ok."

So I leave it in your fine hands my friends. Now taking requests for the second batch of photos to be posted soon. Ish.

Here's the first sampling from the trip. Do enjoy with a few nice crumpets and/or biscuits, served warmly.

Taking the mickey

I've decided the Roundabout is a nifty little idea that should be widely adopted throughout the U.S.

Let's just be clear that I'm not totally convinced that the English have had a better idea than us - but I'll chalk up the roundabout to the Romans or something. Yeah, the Romans sound like a legitimate source.

Think of it, all the irritating little stop signs, irritatingly placed in irritating spots on irritating little side-roads - POOF! Replaced by a roundabout where you don't actually have to stop when there's no traffic coming. You just keep on zooming, yet still unable to reach a speed too ridiculous because you still have to go around a meridian-like-thing (safety first).

I would sooooo be dropping these in to American side streets if I could.

Actually I do know of one roundabout located in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Now let's just be clear here, I'm from Sheboygan so I can say things like what I'm about to say... Yeah. The dalts there didn't really get the whole round-about thing right and need to have their heads examined pronto. They installed a roundabout in the WRONG DIRECTION! Hello people. The whole concept doesn't really work when the design is bottoms-up.

Other English things that need to make it to America, right quick (that's just for you Steve) are salt and vinegar crisps (the good kind), kebab (not shishkebab but gyro type kebab found ANYWHERE in Europe), and cool phrases like "Let's get pissed," "Cheers," "... fuck all...," and "Take the piss" or "Take the mickey".

English things that need to stay put in England include driving on the wrong side of the road, biscuits (THEY'RE NOT BISCUITS GOD DAMNIT THEY'RE COOKIES!), rugby (so sue me, it's violent mkay?), and bad teeth.

In other news, things that need to make it to England right quick are sopheava.com. I think the English could use a healthy portion of me everyday - good for their constitution 'n all that, yeah?

B of A. Stards

On Tuesday I read this post. *Of course* those downright dirty asshole financial institutions would pull something so low as to print fake smudges.

And to think someone gets paid the big bucks to think that shit up.

Then I got the *EXACT* same letter on Wednesday and saw the ink smudges for myself.

Un. Be. Liev. Able.