File these under "She told me so"
01 March 2005
Useful tips'o'th'day.
- When working out, put on Sex and the City. Time flies when you're laughing your ass off (hey, that's literal 'n stuff!!!). It's also perfect inspiration having to watch their skinny asses all couture'd out for 30 minutes straight.
- When you get a cut on your fingers, best to wrap it up in a bandaid straightaway. Otherwise you'll just keep opening up the wound with all the hard-core, physical, manual labor that you're constantly up to (uh huh, I most certainly *DO* do manual labor!).
- When people make fun of you for having "kick ass sound system" on your car shopping list, blame grandpa. It's genetic and not my fault. Damnit.
- Best to attach a few safety pins to the inside of your purse, er, man-wallet in case you split your pants after you get to work and are wearing turquoise underwear under those black pants that everyone walking by your desk can see all day long even when you're walking around the office for no particular reason.
- Keep styrofoam cup of water *far, far* from arm's length to ensure **Accidental Tippage™ does not occur.
- Easy-way-to-amuse-self-101: While at a stoplight, watch the guy in the truck behind you sneeze all over his windshield and then try to clean it up with his sleeve at 8:00 in the morning.
** [Including, but not limited to, tippage over keyboard, mini iPod base of monitor, phone, oriental lamp, chair, grey pants, notebook written with inky-ink pen, and new Tori Amos book. Also includes dropping of mini iPod headphones in to water instead of on desk.] **