This crazy and I have been doing this thing for years.
See, our story starts when I was in college. Aaahhhh, those were the good old days, weren't they? Well, as anyone who has been stalking known me for a while knows, I'm completely obsessed with music. And as you might start to see, this isn't a new obsession. Oh no. I can remember listening to Boston in older brother Chris's El Camino, and the sweet sounds of Cinderella, Poison, Warrant, *EVEN* Stryper coming from permed-mullet-having other brother Paul's yellow bedroom. And I'm not afraid to admit, right now, that Bad English was the first group I ever bought on CD. What can I say? I loved them, and had I been 10 years older I would have been a Def Leppard, Winger, Nelson, or even Alice Cooper groupie.
But... *sigh*... I was 8. Ya'know?
Fast-forward to college and the dorm room I lived in called "D". My wise-alek friend Shea thought it would be funny to use the "D" on my door to help form (with a little help from Sharpie) the words "DJ mDogg". Because, obviously, I was always the one with all the music for all the parties. Alllllllllll the music.
I thought it was pretty funny, ho hum, and several years later I could still make myself giggle on command by signing my name "mDogg" every time I emailed her. Well, it *IS* funny! Just like when I write stuff like "abou tit". *hee hee* Inevitably After a while, even "mDogg" started to get a little boring, so I started throwing adjectives in the middle of the name to spice up the email (always thinking, this one!). Thus my signatures became names like "~m-The-Bored-Dogg". Or "~m-The-Polka-Dotted-Unmentionable-Wearing-Dogg".
She and I have been doing this for ye-he-hears... so a few days ago I went through some of our old emails and pulled a sampling of the more infamous signatures (my poor mother having to read all this...) for your pure, unadulterated entertainment. Enjoy.
-k-the-I-just-got-jacked-Dawg-
-k-the-don't-fuck-with-me-I've-read-the-Satanic-Bible-Dawg-
-k-the-ready-to-get-retarded-with-her-Libran-Indigo-Goddess-Sister-Dawg-
-k-the-produce-man-prowler-Dawg
-k-the-where's-my-morning-martini-Dawg-
~m-The-Wants-A-Velvet-Indigo-Studio-Dogg
~m-The-Distracted-By-Indecensies-Dogg
~m-The-CSS-Dominatrix-Dogg
~m-The-So-Excited-I-Need-To-Lay-Down-Dogg
~m-The-Shifty-Dogg
-k-the-about-to-pee-like-a-royal-racehorse-Dawg-
-k-the-gimme-a-big-fat-burrito-and-the-remote-Dawg-
-k-the-sneaky-envelope-stuffing-Dawg-
-k-the-hump-Dawg-
~m-The-Shouldn't-Quit-Her-Day-Job-Dogg
-K-the-I'll-fuck-up-everything-but-a-frog-Dawg-
-k-the-schizophrenic-nun-Dawg-
~m-The-*yawn*-Dogg
~m-The-Beaming-Sunshine-Under-Her-Bitchy-Exterior-Dogg
~m-The-Sending-Smoke-Signals-Dogg
-k-the-goats-jacked-my-chipperness-Dawg-
-k-the-just-got-busy-in-the-non-sexual-way-Dawg-
~m-The-Yes-Theres-A-Hell-Wanna-Come-Too-?-Dogg
~m-The-You-Get-What-You-Pay-For-Dogg
-k-the-Dawg-who-hates-small-pale-penises-
-k-the-scurry-Dawg-
-k-the-still-got-it-like-a-23-year-old-but-far-better-Dawg-
-k-the-I-think-I-just-mushed-in-my-pants-Dawg-
-k-the-send-me-a-hot-rich-tall-man-with-intellect-and-life-experience-Dawg-
-k-the-religious-verse-chanting-Dawg-
~m-The-Erotic-Ho-Dogg
~m-The-ACHOO-Dogg
-k-the-peeing-in-her-panties-with-excitement-Dawg-
-k-the-what-happened-I've-been-making-a-sandwich-for-the-past-10-minutes-Dawg-
-k-the-lets-just-bend-over-so-Bush-can-more-easily-fuck-us-up-the-ass-Dawg-
-k-the-dontcha-know-that-I'm-toxic-Dawg-
-k-the-wake-me-up-before-you-go-go-Dawg-
~m-The-Sick-As-A-Dogg
~m-The-Would-You-Like-Fries-With-That-Dogg
-k-the-ready-to-get-this-party-started-after-a-nice-sleep-Dawg-
~m-The-Fucking-Hungover-Dogg
~m-The-Misses-Her-Slutty-Sim-Dogg
~m-The-Only-One-Who-Eats-Pretzels-At-7:30-AM-Dogg
-k-the-give-my-best-friend-her-goddamn-admin-rights-Dawg-
-k-the-I-get-to-keep-learning-my-bitch-ass-lessons-in-life-Dawg-
~m-The-Kinda-Intoxicated-Enough-To-Buzz-Dogg
-k-the-thank-goddess-its-"Friday"-for-the-goddesses-Dawg
~m-The-What-Have-You-Done-With-My-Cheeto-Eating-Smoking-Sister-Dogg
-k-the-send-me-a-hot-rich-tall-man-with-intellect-and-life-experience-Dawg-
~m-The-Crying-Inside-A-Little-Big-Dogg
-k-the-piss-me-off-and-I-will-neuter-you-Dawg-
-k-the-bitches-better-appreciate-Dawg-
-k-the-kids-are-all-assholes-don't-ever-have-them-Dawg-
~m-The-Sniffling-Sneezing-Stuffy-Head-Fever-Wants-To-Rest-Dogg
~m-The-Too-Sick-To-Do-Anything-Real-Real-Stupid-*whew*-Dogg