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Deep thoughts only 2 days in to 2005

Pictures. I have a few, but only a few, pictures from my extraordinarily wonderful New Year's celebration. And honestly, if Shea and Lewis get any cuter I'm going to have to give them each black eyes JUST to give them a reason to be a little less cute! They're just the sweetest thing ever. You will notice in the pictures my patchwork miniskirt (which I am still amazed I can fit in to), a guy in a peach shirt (which he pulled off with as much coolness as I've ever seen), the shocking absence of alcohol (mostly because we were too busy ingesting said alcohol as quickly as possible thereby destroying all evidence), and proof positive I have a wandering eye. Enjoy.

I have a question for all the men in the audience today. (Incidentally, Dooce was speaking about the cousin of today's topic just recently... this is important stuff!)

So. When women are speaking on the phone for an extended period of time, inevitably there comes a point when one or both parties of the conversation must relieve themselves.

So we do.

I mean, I go to the bathroom *WITH* my girlfriends all the time when we're out, so what's the big deal about doing it while you're on the phone? But as I heard the familiar echo of my friend's voice in her bathroom the other evening, I began to wonder...

What do men do when they're on the phone and need to relieve themselves?

Really. I've been thinking this one through and have questions. QUESTIONS! First there's the obvious question - Do men ever really spend extended amounts of time on the phone with their friends? Because assuming this point to be false, I'm already finished with today's entry. Assuming this point to be true, I then have to ask: What in the WORLD do guys talk about?! Football? Hot chicks? Beer? Soaps? I mean really, how long can 2 guys shoot the shit about fantasy football before Dude-1 says to Dude-2...

"Dood. I gotta take a leak."

"Totally."

"Later."

I digress - my apologies. Instead of going on and on and on about all the related questions swimming about my head I'm going to open it up for discussion. Please, enlighten me.

In related news -- filed under the category of "WHAT THE FUCK?!" -- how is it possible for a man to answer the phone and have a 90 minute, intimate conversation about relationships and love with someone they don't even know? Or rather, someone they actually know but misunderstood as someone they didn't know because they were likely still drunk from a few hours earlier? I swear to god, people will NEVER, EVER, EVER cease to amaze me. I just... I mean... I can't even fathom why at any point in the conversation the thoughts, "It's none of your business, Who the fuck are you, and how did you get this number?" would never creep in to the thick-headed skull of a man. Seriously.