Today's topic: Le Sopheava Film Noir
Release Date: February 2006
Writers: Sophie Eva and Leseria Cyni. With a guest appearance from His-Holy-Sailor-Mouthedness Pr. Akope.
Director: David Fincher (think Fight Club)
Location: Paris, circa 1938
I'm having vague inclings to do a film noir movie loosely based on the lives of two uberGorgeous, overtalented, ahead-of-their-time goddessish women. Here are my thoughts so far:
-- Staging. I need informants with names and, more importantly, connections. Coffee shops, art houses, museums, parks, and landmarks. Let's not forget the token alley, movie house, subway, and bridge. All centered around the studio loft overlooking Parisian rooftops with a balcony, fire escape, and 2 mewing alley cats mainly cuz I love kittens so fucking much. Wellington, I leave this grandiose task to you. I'm going to need you to scout out locations and report back with lots of artie, classy photographs of said spots. Think.... sunset. And GO!!!
-- Lighting. Since it's *my* movie and I can do any god damned thing I want to, the mood will be mysterious, sexy, classy, and alluring. I need wind machines, smoke machines, and plenty of cigarettes for the cast and crew. Keira, we'll be needing you to hook us up with the stuff to smoke. Not to mention hot little rides for getting to and from the set everyday (a convertible, please). Work your magic, sista!
-- Music. Now don't worry, I have already recruited my closest friends to contribute to the soundtrack. Miss Madonna will be performing Paradise (Is Not For Me). Vanessa Daou will be scored in a piano bar. And Harry Connick Jr. gets to play the part of the piano... er, player, and more importantly the tortured artist male co-lead.
-- Handyman/tortured artist downstairs, yet dying-to-rip-their-clothes-off male multi-lead.
Speaking of male leads, I've decided there's just no way Keira and I can make such an awesome decision as to the fates of the 2 supreme beings of leisure until we've filmed it several ways. Johnny Depp in his most vulnerable role yet (unless of course Johnny Depp is freakishly shorter than two sexy co-female-leads that round off a neat 5'11-ish with heels on, in which case we'll let him know his cutting room floor fate *after* filming takes place). I've heard vague rumblings of a Patrick Dempsy on the most desired list, and I am personally putting in a call for Jeremy Northam. Cuz damn.
I can see the subject of male leads will need some serious consideration, and plenty of meetings and interviews. This will be continued...
Comments
OMG, can we PLEEEEAAASE have Patrick in this one??? Please, please, please??? I'll hookah us up with the best smoking, er.. stuff ever!!! Annnnd.. ACTION!!
Since it's set in Paris can I sit around smoking cigarettes and saying "But I am Le Tired."
I'm right on it, and my sexy black cat has already requested a cameo role. Obviously it's going to be a real chore mooching around Paris for a few days, but *sigh* if I have to (grabbing suitcase, Cary Grant slacks and sketchbook quicker than you can say w00t!).
I'll insist on a small part myself - possibly as the tortured artist's weasly, unreliable waste-if-space 'friend', who's probably doing dodgy black market deals with nefarious Nazis. So long as I get to smoke in the film and I don't have to shave.
First) Yes, Patrick goes in this one. And so does Raoul Bova. Mmmm.... Raoul.
Second) Everyone gets to smoke cigarettes. Steve, you get the uberPriviledge of saying "But I am le tired." I get the uberPriviledge of giggling every time you do it.
Third) I've seen your black cat, and he's a bit pudgy. So we might have to cast him as a lethargic, cafe smoker as well. And he definitely needs a hat. Yes, that will do. A cigarette and a hat....
Fat cat happy with hat.
Typing in dreadful hotel on Boulevard Saint Germain. Residents in adjacent room arguing all night. Ran out of tobacco at 2.15am. Breakfast almost inedible.
However, heading for Montmartre this morning. Mood improving at the idea. Need coffee and art, confident of finding it.
Will report back later.