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Everyone flunks communication class

Ok people. What's the deal?

Do I have something in my teeth? Do I have my dress tucked in to my pantyhose? Toilet paper stuck on my shoe?

For the love of all that's holy, WHAT?!?!

I'm getting funny looks from everyone today. EVERYONE! I know I dressed up today - Hi my name is Margaret, have we met? I do this on occassion. Sheesh.

Can you stop eyeing me up and down and just spit it out? Mkay? Thanks bunches.

Excuse me while I pull up a bed

Personally, I don't think this shit is blogworthy. OTHER unmentionables disagree. And since there's nothing I like better than describing the intimate details of my psychosis with the entire planet, I'll post.

(And just so everyone is clear, "What Margaret wants...." well, you know the rest.)

So there is this one dream I had recently that was, well, weird. My profession in said dream?: Prostitute. Not the usual topic of dreams around here, but I wasn't your usual, run of the mill prostitute. Oh no no no no. I was a high paid, all expense paid, no expense spared, martini drinking, classy, prada wearing snob of a prostitute. I even had a bag of "stuff" in the dream. Just a large, white gucci bag slung on my shoulder full of who only knows what. To be honest, who cares? The bag is a gucci! More importantly, did I mention the prada shoes? EEEEEEE!!!

In said dream I was on my way to a French hotel for a, ah hem, business meeting. I get to the pink striped luxurious hotel (mental note to self to go on pink detox) and remember that this meeting is also going to involve include be attended by none other than Miss Belle de Jour; and of course all I can think is HOLY CHRIST I'M GOING TO MEET BELLE FUCKING DE JOUR!!!! What will she look like? What if I say something stupid? What if she doesn't like my hair? Oh GOD - what if she notices my bag doesn't match my knickers. The horror. THE HORRORRRRR!!!!

I stop in front of the mirror in the hallway and calm myself down. Proceed to door. Breathe. Knock.

Belle answers. She's black. Yup. I guess in SOME part of my fucked up brain I expect that she "doesn't look anything like I'd expect her to look", couple that with a VERY long chat the night before to my best friend, and that's how she came out in my dream. Keira-ish, but short and with an annoying, unpolished northern england accent. And dreads. So... I guess, wasn't really anything at all like my best friend, but you get the point. She wasn't what I expected. I enter the suite and she proceeds to over-elaborate in her manish, throaty, rough, unpolished accent that the bloke is in the loo.

And we just sit there. For a while.

Watching TV. Waiting.

Until she starts cozying up to me, explaining that he'll be out of the shower "any moment" and that the "troops need to be ready". Ohhhhhhhh kay. ? . ? .

And then he comes out of the shower promptly swinging his genitalia in our direction, all the while giggling and drunkenly slurring AT us, "Which penis would you lasses like to take care of first?"

Excuse me for a moment while I try to comprehend that this freakazoid has not one, not two, but THREE penises all hanging out in front of god and everybody. And more importantly, me and Belle.

But Belle is a total pro and knows *exactly* what to do (which is why she gets paid the bigger bucks). Everyone starts to sense my subtle "Holy shit he has 3 penises" trepidation and almost in unison say something to the effect of, "Here, hold this".

Perfect. Fabulous. I looove, um, *scrunches face* holding stuff?

But then the 3 penised freakazoid DASHES across the room and pulls several sparkly costumes out of his circus trunk, each made of real ostrich feathers. And when Belle FINALLY freaks out, almost screaming at the top of her lungs that "real ostriches were hurt just for his sexcapades", THEN she storms out.

Queue Prodigy. Queue me running out of there, in suit, with my ostrich feathered getup on.

What do you think? Should I lay off the crack before going to bed?

Faking it

You know how sometimes you're in a meeting or having a conversation with a friend and you realize after a long while of the other person rambling on and on and on that you just totally did NOT pay attention for at least the last minute or two?

And then you sit there wondering, "What the fuck was I just thinking about?! Holy crap I haven't been paying attention during this conversation at all." But then you realize you're still *IN* the conversation and that you had better catch up real quick! So you tune back in, but then find yourself working SO hard to tune back in, that you're concentrating on the tuning and not on the actual conversation again?

The worst is when the other person stops so you can either A) react or B) answer their question.

I'd go with a "Wow", if I were you. Usually does the trick. And sometimes I just blurt out, "OMG, I just totally wasn't paying attention. Oops." Is that rude of me? It's always funny, that's for DAMN sure. Maybe people are more forgiving now that I'm more of a 'natural' blonde.

Random memory for the night: The first time I actually remember doing this tune out thing was when I was in the second grade and the art teacher was going on about what a 'horizon line' was. Man was I PISSED when I finally tuned back in and realized I had NO idea what our assignment was. How many 8 year olds know what the fuck a horizon line is - that was the whole point of the class!!!

So I remember picking up a purple crayon and starting to draw. Some squiggly lines here, and then a yellow sun there... all the while eavesdropping on the art teacher telling off the kids who weren't listening as they fumbled through disaster horizon lines (I'm a really good eavesdropper, by the way). I got that 'hot all over' feeling as I realized time was running out and started sweating thinking about my first non-A in art. Just in the knick of time, however, I picked up some extraordinarly juicy bits about the actual LINE!!! WOO HOO! I fucking threw in a tree, finished the LINE and landed an A.

Anyone still listening?

September's first feast

1. Appetizer: If someone gave you 3 new goldfish today, what would you name them?

It totally depends on the type of goldfish. I'd want the ones with the really decorative, exagerrated tails... and then I'd probably name them: Isis, Osiris, and Nepthys for no apparent reason other than I enjoy naming things after "characters" in ancient myths.

2. Soup: What's the worst movie you've seen this year so far?

Intolerable Cruelty - which is a really nice description of what it was like for me to watch that movie.

3. Salad: If given the chance and you could pick the person, would you want to switch lives with someone on earth for one whole day?

I think I'd want to change places with a guy - to see what it's like, you know? It would have to be someone young-ish and talented, and definitely famous cuz how else would I know to change lives with them? For now I'll say Justin Timberlake cuz I can't think of anyone better (plus I'm listening to him right now).

4. Main Course: What's your favorite season? Name 2 things you love about it.

Fall!!!! 1) Sweater weather. 2) Colors.

5. Dessert: What is something you frequently buy that you don't really need?

Expensive lunches everyday. It's my one indulgence. It's only money, right?

Martinimergency

Hurricane Frances IS reeking all kinds of havoc. Not only has all hell broken loose in Florida (really people, you DO live in hurricane country so please, for the love of all that's holy, don't throw your hands up in the air in astonishment like it's a huge mystery, mkay? Thanks), but more importantly Frances's BITCH ASS is going to disconnect me from my indigo sister!!! And it *might* be for more than 8 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAH!

Wait... do you hear that? It's the sounds of the sirens letting us know there's a martinimergency, and to please take cover in Hangover Central.

Feel free to join in all the fun. Tonight. Sopheava. 8:30pm.

See you then!

Music lover conference, right here, right now

I really need to get this off my chest - so you're just going to have to deal with a boring entry for tonight. Ok, here it goes: Hi, my name is Margaret. And I AM A MUSICAHOLIC! I am music's slave. Its whore. Its bitch. Utterly, totally, and completely obsessed with it. Rendered useless without it. I listen to it when I get out of the shower, on the walk to and from work, while I'm working, while I'm designing, and sometimes when I'm going to sleep. Believe me when I say I am a much happier, healthier venusian for having an intimate relationship with it. Right, and there's also the small matter of me having lots of it.

Yes I know what you're thinking - everyone has lots of music, and some people even have LOTS of music. But I pretty much kick all their asses and have LOTS of music. Rougly 7000 mp3's and a little over 300 CDs in my closet. You remember yesterday's question about things I buy that I don't need? Well music is definitely not on that list (not with a capital 'N'), because if I am forced to be without it for even one day I transform in to a seething, snarling, snappy, mega bitch. Crabby. Irritable. And very, verrrrry irritated.

Today I did that thing I do every coupla months, where I wipe off almost all the music on my computer and replace it with an all new assortment of delishiousness. For goodness sakes, I have 7000 mp3's and over 300 cd's I could be listening to, HOW'S A WOMAN TO CHOOSE?!!! So on occassion I become bored with the 1500 or so regulars I keep handy, wipe 'em out, and put an all new assortment up. Today was that lucky day! And being the extremely generous person I am, I'm going to share with you some of the albums I'm currently infatuated with. As always, if anyone see's something on this list you'd like to have a copy of, or in general can think of something you want but don't have (or can't find), feel free to drop me a line. I didn't earn the nickname DJ mDogg in college for nuthin'!

So. First thing in the morning - getting ready for work - gotta be in a good mood so I put in the following:

1) Justin Timberlake - Justified
2) Christina Aguilera - Stripped (currently holding record for longest running album on my computer)
3) Britney Spears - In The Zone

For appetizers, I prefer music of the groovy, low-key variety. Lounge music, meets acid jazz, meets trip hop, meets rave. Currently have the following lined up to meet said groovy requirements:

4) Perfecto Chills, Volume 1 (2 disk set)
5) Perfecto Chills, Volume 2 (2 disk set)
6) Cafe Lounge, Various Artists

Sliding right in to third is my love affair with East Indian, smart, smooth, groovy, underground music. Talvin Singh is alright (please don't hate me), but if my subwoofer could marry Karsh Kale it would. Ssssccchlllpppp! These are the albums I put on when I start designing and don't fuck around.

7) Karsh Kale - Liberation
8) Karsh Kale - Realize

Traveling to the not so near Minneapolis, here's the selected, and everchanging, playlist for the walk to work.

9) Janet Jackson - Velvet Rope
10) Mya - Moodring
11) Garbage - Version 2.0
12) Digital Underground - Sex Packets

When I want to be moved, I put in the strong stuff.

13) Tori Amos. Anything at all by Tori Amos. Scarlett's Walk, Boys For Pele, To Venus and Back, Under The Pink, Little Earthquakes, Tales of a Librarian, & From The Choirgirl Hotel.
14) Sarah McLachlan. While I adore all her albums, my all-time favorite is still Fumbling Towards Ecstacy. I think I actually wore out the CD on that one.

In the evenings, I like to wind down a bit. Not too calm or that chillout music would put me right to sleep.

15) Lamb - Between Darkness and Wonder
16) Vast - Nude
17) Zero 7 - Simple Things
18) Madonna. Currently enjoying Ray of Light & American Life.

And no collection should be complete without...

19) Buddha Bar. Every volume is good but II is my personal favorite.

Whew. Ok, the last music entry post for a while. Which reminds me, we haven't played that game for quite some time....

Love actually IS all around

Currently watching Love Actually. A few observations:

1. Bill Nighy makes me laugh out loud. "Kids, don't buy drugs...become a pop-star and they give them to you for free!"
2. Wisconsin girls really do hang out in dive bars. With their lesbian friends. And have pillow fights. In their underwear.
3. I'd vote for Hugh Grant.
4. As long as he promises to take some dancing lessons.
5. I wouldn't vote for Billy Bob.
6. Heroine's have potty mouths.
7. I miss swimming in lakes.
8. Getting wrapped up in a good movie might make you forget the vanilla scented candle, resulting in the best smelling waxy mess ever seen on a coffee table.
9. What are the odds Andrew Lincoln is single and finds himself reading my enchanting blog one day? In this century?

Tripping daisies

There's gonna be a smackdown in ... oh, 5 seconds. Anyone wanna help me kick the shit out of Internet Explorer?

Microsoft really should think about renaming its unconventional browser to something more like, "POS" or "Extra work for programmers". Even a nice, "Sometimes I refuse to comply for no apparent reason!" Luckily I MAJORED in non-compliance and taught this bizatch a lesson. One. Pixel. At. A. Time.

FACE!

I digress.

New skin for September. I don't know - I guess I'm starting to realize summer will be drawing to a close very soon and needed something... fieldy. And... colorful. Whoala. Click here to go check it out, mkay? All together now: Woot.

Today's must read

.... courtesy of Infinite Pink.

Man, her latest entry The Tale of the High-heeled Stink Weasel is so funny I nearly didn't make it in to work, as I was too busy laughing. On the floor.

More later...

Designer's handbook 101

Random thought as I'm drifting off to sleep...

When designing and in doubt, use picture of nearly naked women. Oh, and TVs. Lots of them. That should pretty much capture the audience.

You'll see ;-).

Sugar, oh sugar

Yesterday morning I must have been tired (case of the Monday's, perhaps), considering what I did. Only it wasn't Monday, it was Tuesday. And I was just being a huge space cadet, to which there is no limit of time or space -- shush Steve. Hold your tongue.

So I was happily walking to work, music BLARING, as I'm now in the habit of listening to my MP3 player for the duration. Good goddess I've become one of thooooose people that walks to work with a satchel on one arm, sunglasses, and discreet little headphones tucked under my hair. Discreet except for the cords hanging out. I feel so... what's the word I'm looking for? City? (And no, you will NEVER, EVER see me walking to work in sneakers - city girls don't *do* sneakers, mkay? That's reserved for uptight, over the hill suburbanites that drive in to the city and walk 2 blocks to work.)

So I'm walking to work and I get one block from my building (music still blaring). I just happen to be listening to a very live, very amazing version of "Sugar" by Tori Amos. By this point I'm in the skyways and am approaching a set of doors I have walked through at least twice a day for the past 2 years. Sometimes more.

He brings me sugar... la la la... As far as I can tell, I've been gone for miles now Hey, why isn't this door opening?

I looked up, got distracted by shiny lyrics, realized the door still hadn't opened just bring me sugar.... FUCK! Um, yeah. At this point I'm still standing there now realizing I actually have to exert manual force on the door to make it open. Oops. Wouldn't have been so embarrassing if 2 people weren't walking straight towards me and saw the whole thing go down. Cuz of course the doors were made of glass. And then they nearly fell on the floor laughing. Why wouldn't they? That's what I'm sayin'.

They also pointed.

Maybe I should start doing the caffeine thing. Or the coffee thing to get the caffeine thing. Alternatively, if they make a salve for space cadetedness I might need to pick it up.

Floridians.

Heh. I rest my case.

Eeeeee!

Happy October to me! Can anyone guess the SURPRISE?!!!!! (Check out the sidenav, right under Uber Blog for a hint...)

Nameshame

Fantasty football people. What's the big deal? And who is this Priest Holmes character.

More importantly, why would anyone name their child "Priest"?

All the cool people are collectively wondering, Why?!!!

The short list

I'm wearing white pants after Labor Day. Whadya gonna do about it?!?!

Now that we've cleared that up, today's feast!

1. Appetizer: What movie soundtracks do you own?

The Matrix and The Red Violin are the only 2 coming to mind right now.

2. Soup: How much cash do you usually carry with you?

On average I'd say $9. Plus or minus $10

3. Salad: Are you more comfortable around men or women? Why?

Is this a trick question? Obviously this chica gets to see me on a relaxed day. In fact, all of them. And not so much see, as hear. And not always hear, mostly what she see's over emails and IM. But if we're talking a group of strangers - a dozen men vs. a dozen women, I'd say men. Anyone who knows me knows why ;).

4. Main Course: What is the most mischievous thing you remember doing as a child?

I wasn't very mischievous. Though this one time one of my very best friends, Shea, and I snuck in to the neighbor's house. Granted, it was empty for 3 months because they had moved out, but we were still certain the police might catch us!

5. Dessert: Who is the funniest member of your family?

Is this another trick question? Well I know a couple of the siblings read this regularly so I'll have to say Debbie for slapstick, Paul for nyuk nyuk's, Chris for the one you never saw coming, Father for teaching all of us our specialities and encompassing a little of each, and me for the witty, sarcastic humor. Oh, and uhhhhh..... Kelly has more jokes memorized than anyone I know.

Best friends are for weiners. I mean winners!

My very best friend did the most amazing thing yesterday - she MADE ME A NEW SKIN!!! Isn't it the loveliest?! She's the bestest friend ever *tear*. I love you. You complete me. Hee hee.

Now go change the skin for goodness sakes! Scoot!

Way #6287 to woo a woman

Call her up, slur incoherently, accidentally hang up on her, and then pass out without calling her back.

Swoon.

1/3 of a break

Confuscious say, "When things are rough, blog less."

- Ancient chinese proverb.

It's 3am, and with my inability to sleep comes the confession that I may very well be blogging a little less than normal around here for a few weeks. There are certain, .... things..., which need to get handled and demand my time. I wish I could say they are things of the "I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD" nature, but they're not. Oh wait, actually... I *am* going to Orlando in a little over a month. Uhhhhhhh... point is, things will be better by that trip. At least, that's my goal.

I'll still be blogging. Oh yes, I most certainly will. It just might not be everyday per normal.

And as a special treat, I have 2 new designs to pimp out in the very near future (so long as the people GETTING the designs can manage to contain their excitement - sshhhhhhhh).

Still love everyone buckets. Mwah!

Utter (huh huh) randomness

• I like songs with cellos. All of them.
• It's mating season in the Loring Greenway - every squirrel is either chasing or being chased (not to be confused with fighting).
• Minnesotan's are on a strict schedule. Even 80 degree, 100% humidity weather won't deter most of them from wearing jackets and sweaters mid-September.
• Kelly Clarkson can sing.
• Zena Holloway does the most beautiful photographs. Ever.
• Love Actually makes me cry. Every. Time.
• I miss my best friend.
• Ashlee Simpson wants to "be a french maid, when she meets you at the door"?!?! Excuse me, HOW old is she?
• My bedroom has wayyyyy too much light coming in to it at night. Methinks curtains would be dope.
• Why do the DVDs have to be different in every other country? Not to mention the power supplies. Can't we all just get along?
• I wish I had a nice digital camera.

Big pimpin'

Well, more like small pimpin' tonight. Mainly cuz person I did the design for requires super-secret privacy of the uttermost variety. He wanted something sexy. And uh.... classy. So, this is what I came up with.

One huge round of w00t for screenshots *yay, yay*!

(As I said, when in doubt - use TVs and half naked women. Always a crowd pleaser. The added bonus is that you can mis-align an entire paragraph and no one will even notice!)

(Oh, and one more thing. Never, EVER use classes inside a TR. Not unless you want to know what it feels like to beat your head against the pretty oak coffee table over and over. Just a suggestion.)

Oooooh, project!

Today's topic: Le Sopheava Film Noir

Release Date: February 2006

Writers: Sophie Eva and Leseria Cyni. With a guest appearance from His-Holy-Sailor-Mouthedness Pr. Akope.

Director: David Fincher (think Fight Club)

Location: Paris, circa 1938

I'm having vague inclings to do a film noir movie loosely based on the lives of two uberGorgeous, overtalented, ahead-of-their-time goddessish women. Here are my thoughts so far:

-- Staging. I need informants with names and, more importantly, connections. Coffee shops, art houses, museums, parks, and landmarks. Let's not forget the token alley, movie house, subway, and bridge. All centered around the studio loft overlooking Parisian rooftops with a balcony, fire escape, and 2 mewing alley cats mainly cuz I love kittens so fucking much. Wellington, I leave this grandiose task to you. I'm going to need you to scout out locations and report back with lots of artie, classy photographs of said spots. Think.... sunset. And GO!!!

-- Lighting. Since it's *my* movie and I can do any god damned thing I want to, the mood will be mysterious, sexy, classy, and alluring. I need wind machines, smoke machines, and plenty of cigarettes for the cast and crew. Keira, we'll be needing you to hook us up with the stuff to smoke. Not to mention hot little rides for getting to and from the set everyday (a convertible, please). Work your magic, sista!

-- Music. Now don't worry, I have already recruited my closest friends to contribute to the soundtrack. Miss Madonna will be performing Paradise (Is Not For Me). Vanessa Daou will be scored in a piano bar. And Harry Connick Jr. gets to play the part of the piano... er, player, and more importantly the tortured artist male co-lead.

-- Handyman/tortured artist downstairs, yet dying-to-rip-their-clothes-off male multi-lead.

Speaking of male leads, I've decided there's just no way Keira and I can make such an awesome decision as to the fates of the 2 supreme beings of leisure until we've filmed it several ways. Johnny Depp in his most vulnerable role yet (unless of course Johnny Depp is freakishly shorter than two sexy co-female-leads that round off a neat 5'11-ish with heels on, in which case we'll let him know his cutting room floor fate *after* filming takes place). I've heard vague rumblings of a Patrick Dempsy on the most desired list, and I am personally putting in a call for Jeremy Northam. Cuz damn.

I can see the subject of male leads will need some serious consideration, and plenty of meetings and interviews. This will be continued...

For all the ladies

Holla back, sistas! Take the poll yourself here.

It's all about the french today

Quote of the day from French Kiss:

Kate: "Why shut me out? You know what happens to people who shut everyone out?"

Luke: "Uhhhhh.... they live quiet peaceful lives?"

1. Appetizer: How are you today?

Been better, but got my beauty sleep last night which counts for a lot today.

2. Soup: Name 3 television shows you watch on a regular basis.

Actually... I own a TV but the only thing it's connected to is my DVD player. So the more accurate question is, "Name 3 things you watch on your TV on a regular basis." This week they are: Love Actually, 13 Going On 30, and French Kiss.

3. Salad: What's the scariest weather situation you've experienced?

Perspective is different when you're a child (not to mention being vaguely influenced by the movie The Wizard of Oz), so when my mom called me home because of a tornado warning when I was around 6 I was utterly FREAKED THE FUCK OUT when she refused to come down in the basement with me so she could stand in the kitchen and pop popcorn for us. I remember sitting on the stairs crying, begging for her to come down with me.

The next thing I remember is sitting downstairs eating buttery, salty goodness. Mmmmmmm. Oooh, hey look! Brighty shiny things!

4. Main Course: If you could wake up tomorrow morning in another country, where would you want to be?

The south of France, in the middle of wine country.

5. Dessert: What do you usually wear to sleep?

Who decided that today is confession day? I CONFESS!!!! I'm obsessed with cute pajamas and will sleep in nothing less than pants covered in itty witty wittle rainbows, or teeny weenie wittle apples, or pink stripes. And I always wear xsmall tank tops because tops that fold bother me while I'm sleeping. Anal retentive, order of 1.

My day

I am the proud owner of a katrillion dollars.

What did *YOU* accomplish today?

Prakope's new style

Señor Prakope got a ñew desigñ for his ñearly one year old blog. This was my guidañce for what he wañted:

"Don't give me anything pink. Or girlie. Cuz ew."

Yup, I'm telling you people. Making a skin for His Discriminating Taste McWrites A-Lot was... interesting. So I went with his freakishly freakish 'scarecrow' thing. Ok, actually it was more like I snuck in, stole the scarecrow thing, ran out the back door, and didn't tell him until it was all over.

Kinda reminds me of Office Space for some reason. The post-it thing? I dunno. But you should definitely go say hi.

All kinds of lovin'

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY OLDEST SISTER DEBBIE!!!! Today is her birthday and she deserves every ounce of happiness eminating from the day that is today. Mwah, mwah, and 2 extra MWAH's!!!!

Secondly, I decided to whip up a halloween skin. One month, and one month only people. Step right up and try the halloween skin. I can guarantee you've never seen anything this *stupidly* scary before.

Boo!

Skin therapy

I have no excuses. I did a skin cuz it's fun.

I also have no excuses for naming it 'bachelorette'. Other than that was the name of the song I listened to while I designed a bunch of it (by Tori Amos, if you must know).

Fish are cool. Try it out.

(It's also for *cough* those people who are too *cough* scared of the halloween skin. To be honest, the bad design frightens me just as much.)

Holy *mouth gaping open*

Favorite console games:

• Super Mario Bros. 1/3
• Mario Kart 64
• The World Is Not Enough

Favorite computer games:

• Catz 5
• Theme Hospital
• Roller Coaster Tycoon
• Duke Nukum 3D
• Dark Forces

But then... there's this. Don't expect to hear from me after I get back from my vacay next month. I'll be busy riding coaster's 'n stuff.

Let's ditch and smoke out back

Once in a while designers need to have a little fun. That's why she and I gave each other homework. But she is the *FUN* teacher who gives me the coolest assignments EVER!!!!

Here are the guidelines she gave me for assignment #1:

(And just so you know, there are 2 more assignments coming - oh the excitement!!!). Additionally, all the other designers out there should design something for the fun assignment too!!! If you email it to me, I'll totally post it and make you famous.

This is what I came up with. Hee hee, I'm like all funny 'n stuff. Oh, and don't forget to go check out hers here and here.

(EDITED AT 10 O'CLOCK PM...)

Ok, ok. It's 10 o'clock and I needed to get this second assignment out of the way before I went to sleep. This is assignment #2:

Now THAT is just asking for trouble. Here's what I came up with (same rules as before - if anyone wants to play along send me your design and I'll post 'em!). Also, one should take special note of the author's of each book. I'm all feelin' funny tonight!

School's out

The last 2 assignments are in. Yesterday's assignment was WAYYYY too much fun, so we decided to do it one more time. And don't forget to check out the last 2 assignments I gave her (here and here). Hee hee, we're all funny 'n stuff.

Assignment #3 - WHOALA!:

Assignment #4:

Ponderment

Do you ever get in to such a deep conversation with yourself, that all of a sudden you realize you've gotten somewhere and you don't remember the actual "getting to" there?

And then when you snap out of it, you suddenly realize you're going to the bathroom, and promptly pray to GOD you weren't just talking out loud. Cuz you HONESTLY were so in to your own self that you can't remember if you were talking out loud?

Um... cuz ya know, I was just wondering.

Sharing the fun teacher

Wellington is one of the cool kids and wanted to play along with the whole book designing thing. Actually, I sorta, maybe, suggested, pushed, lightly forced him him to play along, but he was a bloody good sport and participated like a cool kid does.

Here were his assignments:

Hugfest

I *heart* my best friend. *sniff sniff*

I love you. You complete me. *Tear*

Deep thoughts

Me: You've been blogging more than ME lately!
Her: Whatever. My entries are just so random....
Me (cutting in): Dood. That's the point.
Her: Ohhh.......... Yeah.

Da dun da da dun dun - you say it's your birthday!

Today is the most important day of the year. Well, actually tomorrow is the most important day of the year. Why you ask?

BECAUSE IT'S MY BEST FRIEND, LIBRAN, INDIGO, GODDESS SISTER'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

It is the mission of each and every one of you to wish her a happy birthday on her blog TODAY, seeing as how a big fatty hurricane will be cutting her off from the entire universe on her actual birthday Sunday (in which she had better be spending it VERY intoxicated, not to mention inebriated). Hurricane's on birthdays are for losers. And my friend is a WEINER. I mean WINNERRRRRR!!!!!!

And just so each of you know, she won't be receiving birthday greetings from anyone else - so I'm counting on EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU to at least say 'hi'. Even if you're a lurker, a little birthday 'hi' would be superswell. You don't even have to say who you are!!!

And as a special birthday present - not to mention an enticing temptation for all ya'll who will be telling the most gorgeous, amazing mom on the planet happy birthday - I gave her a brand new skin for her blog tonight. It's actually a little preview of a month from now when I'm visiting her.... only the bed will be a jail cell and Keira's dress will be over her head. And some bald-headed, washed up football player type freak named Bla..ire will be laying next to her. I'm just guessing here.

Now go wish her a happy birthday. She deserves it!!!!

Happy Birthday Keira!!! Mwah, mwah, and MWAH!!!!!

Weekend's meme

So between napping this weekend I decided to put together this itty bitty meme. Found it at electricbugaloo who found it a few other places. The ones in bold are the ones I've done.

The verdict? I am "good" by all accounts.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg

20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse

41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice

61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it

81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on (specifically, the underside of people's tongues. don't ask)
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship

121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication

141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet

161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad

181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions (not on purpose)
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

One of downtown's greatest conundrums

Will someone please for the love of all that's holy explain to me that thing about women carrying 2 purse's around?

I mean, what the... ?! I see at least a dozen of these chicks everyday. They're walking to work in their overpriced trendy outfits dating back to 1999 carrying not one, but TWO bags. And usually they're of hideous colors. Baby blue. Passion fruit. And spew green.

What could anyone POSSIBLY need so badly that they must bring 2 bags to work I ask you? "Hmmmmm... I can't possibly fit my wallet, lipstick, tissues, lipstick, foundation, mascara, eyeliner, lipliner, concealer, blush, eyeshadow, browliner, nylons, prada shoes, and spare jewelery all in one bag. I think I'll carry two bags for no apparent reason other than I might have a makeup-mergency." Are they carrying around their kid's cheerios in their too?

I'm this close to stopping one of these spoiled suburban brats to find out about the bag thing. I just don't understand.

Are we there yet?

22 days, 10 hours, 53 minutes left until The Blessed Event™.

That is all.

Dear everyone

Yes dears, I know I've been awful at updating the blog lately. I *do* have a very good reason for it *ever so smoothly hops off the enormous pink elephant standing in the middle of the room*. Things will be back to normal around again soon. Yes.... very, very soon indeed.

And I've been even worse at posting any new pictures for your schmoozal. Of which I cross my heart and promise with cherries on top to remedy in a matter of 3 weeks or so. Better make it 4 in case there's a hurricane or I disappear with the swedish massage king named Sven Olaffson. Oh yes, there will be pictures from The Blessed Event™.

Can you wait that long? In case there's any doubt, I can quite assure you they WILL be worth it.

So speaking of worth it, any requests for pics while I'm out? I'm pretty sure I can finagle one of my friend lipsynching in the stall of a woman's bathroom. Alternatively, if she can't stay conscious that long I'll get one of her doing the Robot. It'll be all fun 'n stuff.

Soon loves. Things will be back to normal around here soon.

Brush with death. Or whatever.

Ok, yes. I realize I probably shouldn't have all my blinds open when I'm walking around the house naked. And I probably shouldn't do it every morning and evening. However in my defense I live on the 6th floor of a building where all the surrounding buildings are no higher than 2 or 3 floors. I'm also on the big hill here. The only person who could possibly see anything going on up and in this bizatch is a person with a very, very powerful telescope.

So the odds of someone seeing me walk around this place naked are proooobably better than the odds of the fire alarm going off the whole time I'm taking a 20 minute shower.

And that happened tonight.

I got out of the shower. Heard the alarm. Looked outside. And apparently it had been going off so long that EVERYONE had time to evacuate the building (including the 1 mph oldies living on the 20th floor) annnnnnnd give the fire department enough time to get here, assess there were no fires, and stand around smoking cigs. Oh. My. Gawd. Cher. I could have daaaaaaaaaied!

Very dramatic.

I'm now eating Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream to ease the pain. Mmmmmm.... ice cream.

For all the voyeurs

I must say, this looks like buckets of fun. You can see the fruits of her labor here.

How do we play?

It's entirely possible that all the lurkers out there won't provide me with any juicy bits to photograph, but I'm giving each and every one of you your ONE shot at voyeurism. A day in the life of sopheava. Choose wisely, grasshoppers. It's not often I'll give out this much freedom and opportunity.

Now, hop to it and send me your lists!!!