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All tucked in

IT'S A MIRACLE - I HAVE INTERNET! Look at me, I'm all high tech 'n stuff now. YIPEEEE! Now my new house feels like a home. Aaaahhhhhhhh.....

Ok peeps, it's really, really, really late and I'm tired like wet cat (go figure that one out). Things to note:

• FREE - how much the original movie version of Annie (Carol Burnett ROCKS the drunken hizzy, yo) cost me - thanks mum 'n pop
• Dozen+ - number of buildings I can see from my windows in the rockinest view of the Minneapolis skyline EVER!
• One - The number of TVs I'll have well hidden behind the japanese folding screens in my living room tomorrow
• 8 - The number of hours I'm sleeping LIKE A FUCKING BABY
• 24 - The number of hours it took for me to completely unpack, clean, organize, and put away everything I own
• Two - The number of whines I had to make after getting myself locked in the bathroom, begging for someone to let me out

*Yawn*

Busy busy busy. Tomorrow I have a few stops to make as the parents are here visiting until the end of the week. *Le happy sigh* G'night.

Orbit of me

I'm online! I'm wireless! I'm unpacked! Aaaaahhhh... all is back to normal. And just to prove to everyone how back to normal I am, but in a completely new and improved sopheava way, I've done the most normal thing I could think of: I made a new skin for all ya'll to enjoy. Please, go give it a whirl and show the love, won't you?

Now that all that housecleaning crap is out of the way I can update you on the going's on around here. Biggest news for me is that I BOUGHT A COUCH! Holy gentle horus I'll *finally* have a place to put my ass like a real person. A soft, cushy, perfectly zen and wonderful contraption, made of massive amounts of fluff just for my ass. Sooooo... do you, like, um, think the Swedes that build the furniture for Ikea ever wonder who's lovely, perfectly formed ass will be sitting on the fruits of their labor? Or do they avoid that thought like the plague - thinking of all the American, McDonald's asses plopping on their works of art? These are the things I think about.

It was serendipity people.

Remember this entry about Ikea furniture from a few weeks ago? I braved the crowds, the masses had to deal with ME a few days ago as I ventured in to the land of massive amounts of people trying to be as cool as the Swedes *just* so I could find a suitable home for my ass. I sat in every couch. I put the couches through every mental scenario I could think of - the whole rigamoroll - and in the end I chose the one I picked out in that entry. In the same color. What are the odds? Actually, they were about 1 in a dozen but it's still pretty fucking cool. On the flipside, what is NOT cool is that I have to wait a few weeks for it to be delivered. *Le sigh* My ass agrees it's a small price to pay for the level of comfort soon to be experienced.

The view from my living room is amazing, and my couch already has a perfect spot right in front of the window JUST so I can see this:

Isn't it lovely? I swear I have one of the best views of the Minneapolis skyline. I am one supremely lucky chica! But as long as we're on the subject of new items for my home... I, well, have a very serious confession to make. I, Miss Margaret Andrews, have purchased a TV. *...the crowd is stunned in to silence...* I know, I know. You probably never dreamed the day would come... yet here we are. It's not too big, not too small, perfectly flat screened, enclosed in a perfectly matching silver case, and perfectly suited to my home. So far it loves its new home - and the plants have taken to it like a bitch takes to heat. Have a look for yourself.

The TV is happy, the plants are happy, I'm happy - it's one big love fest here at loring park. *tear* I'm all settled so blogging will resume its normally scheduled slot and time. Huh huh, I just said *slot*. See ya'll tomorrow with my list for July (a little late, but I got excused by the totally hot and agreeable teacher).

Fridays feast

1. Appetizer: Who are 3 actors/actresses that you think are totally overrated?

Nicole Kidman (sorry, she's cool 'n all - I've just never been blown away by any of her performances), Sarah Michelle Gellar (for god sakes woman, do us a favor and take some sinus medication!), Ashton Kutcher (ok, so I liked him in the Butterfly Effect, but can we say "over the top"?). Ouch, I'm harsh!

2. Soup: Admit something. Anything.

I enjoyed a cheese filled hot dog for breakfast this morning. Served on a bun with ketchup.

3. Salad: If you could take back one thing you've said in your life, what would it be?

I made a joke about this friend of mine in college, one that she frequently made about herself and her weight. But apparently when the same joke came from me it wasn't funny anymore.

4. Main Course: What symbol would best represent your personality?

Often shoving things, mostly my own feet, in my mouth. To the dismay of many I'm never-ending. A constant.

5. Dessert: Choose a free gift: a daily back massage, dinner at a restaurant twice per week, or a brand new book twice per month.

Bring on the masseuse - and make him Swedish. Or mediterranean. Tall. Large hands. Slightly tanned. Tousled, wavy hair. Has this trick he does with his hands that's, well... wonderful.

Totally retro

So tonight is the night where Shea and I do that thing. That thing we do every couple of months when I move.

Mmmmmmmm... Big Bowl. I also plan to subtly insist upon us watching the movie 13 Going On 30 cuz IT'S THE ROCKINGEST CHIC MOVIE SINCE CLUELESS! And after we're done we'll play barbies and drink soda with our pop rocks.

Kidding. KIDDING!

But since we're on the topic of the 80's, remember these?

Girlie heroine

Yes yes, I know I put up a new skin the other day.. but the sopheava in me NEEDED A FUCKING GIRLIE SKIN REAL REAL BAD!!!

Whew, thanks for letting me get that out.

It's done, but it's not done. There's some weirdness going on in Internet Explorer and 2 of the headings on the sidenav. Normally I'd figure it out and take care of it licketly split. But as it turns out, my enthusiasm right now is neither lickety nor split. Think I'll go to bed and think about that one some more. (You don't think I'd actually have been able to sleep on that one, do you? This is a full service shop yo. Appreciate.)

Please, go try out the new *and wonderfully girlie* skin, won't you?

July's list and what's in bed wtih me

ikea | da font | minneapolis skyline | bedtime stories by madonna | cleaning products | friends willing to help me move | chocolate chip cookies | 13 Going On 30 | white lilies | vanilla scented everything | framed anything from calhoun beach framing, courtesy of one miss shea juve | thriving plants | toki toki boom | cuteness factor surpassing its mark | zen | shower caddy | convenient convenience store | minimalism

I have some updating to do on the Le Summer Reading Programme™. I've been slightly remiss in updating the reading programme, but since I'm the boss around here I am totally excusing my own absence. I went ahead with Summer Read #10, yet another indulgent chick read: Faking It, by Jennifer Crusie. I must say, not as smuttastic as Welcome to Temptation but that didn't stop me from reading it in 3 nights. I have a bit of backtracking to do - must finish borrowed #9 and then off to #11: The Life of Pi. Have been meaning to do this one for ages so I figure it's about time I throw myself at its supreme bookness.

Reason #72 why I'm happy

Happiness is...

...figuring out that uping your wireless router's encryption from 64bit to 128bit actually SPEEDS UP YOUR REALLY FUCKING CHOPPY INTERNET CONNECTION.

Who knew?!?!

Age old hard vs. soft controversy

I've now remembered some of the things I don't like about moving. Biggest irritation besides being broke? MY HAIR IS *UTTERLY, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, AND DISRESPECTFULLY-LAUGHS-IN-MY-CONTORTED-WITH-BEWILDERMENT-FACE* UNMANAGABLE!

None of this moderately managable shit. Oh ho ho That is for babies and people who have hard water. I have now remembered that every time I move it takes a few weeks for my body to adjust to the hardness of water. Huh huh, hard. The first 3 days I was on cloud 9 - all hopping in the shower, smothering my face in the soft water goodness that seemed to eminate from my very walls. Like an arabian dream. It's now a week later and my hair has finished purging the vile mineral grodyness that was the aftermath of the relationship it had with the water at my old apartment.

I'm not fucking around - we're code red here people. It is ground zero in my bathroom and there will be some serious shit going down. I am having a hair-mergency and am BEGGING FOR HELP IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM!!! My hair is soft and fluffy and completely ridiculous. I look like I belong in That 70's Show.

Hello everyone. I'm Margaret. And I am a 26 year old woman unable to manage her hair.

Seriously people, what do I do? Anyone have any ideas for managing hair freed from the shackles that's hard water? I'm thinking a haircut is going to have to suffice for now. I'm also thinking if I get it colored that the damage done should significantly fuck it up for at least 2-3 months. And I'm definitely going lighter and instructing the stylist to let the chemicals do that thing they do an extra 15 minutes to reek extra havoc.

Ugh. I'm going to take a shower. You may just find me checking myself in to the Aveda Clinic for professional intervention for help with my fucked up relationship with my hair.

*Pant pant*

This move thing, it's good material people - learn to live with a few more of these entries.

I don't enjoy waking up. I did at my old apartment. Every single day I was up with the sun and all the little birdies before 7... in fact, I don't think I even knew what the sound of my alarm clock was because it never actually got a chance to go off. Tra la la. Just a spoon full of sugar....

Now. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Now. Now I can barely drag my ass out of bed after hearing that incessant beeping. That is of course, if I can manage to get to sleep before 11:30. And those fucking construction workers outside my window need to learn to come to work at 8 LIKE THE REST OF THE PLANET! The weather here is an asshole too. Anyone know a good hitman to give it a swift kick in its front because this grey, cloudy shit is for the birds. Would be great if it was thunderstorming, lightning, and all around scaring the living beejeesies out of me. Alas, it's like it's fucking winter around here and it's starting to affect my hair.

I just got up, CAN YOU TELL?!?!

AND ANOTHER THING. Why does it smell like cigarette smoke in one corner of my bedroom every morning?!?! Only in the mornings and the windows are never open. Rat bastard chain smoking asshole ghosts. Go spook someone else, mkay? Great. Thanks.

Time for me to go fuck up my hair in the shower...

Fabuloso

Eek eek eek! I have to get ready for work... this whole "extra 5 blocks to walk to work thing" is completely throwing me off my schedule (I'm walking well over a mile each WAY!!!). I'll try to be quick about tit....

First off, I did my bestest friend in the whole wide world a favor and fixed up her blog. I *even* gave her a new skin and exorcised nasty MT code from her subdomain. *Le happy sigh*. Over the course of the next few weeks there will be more skins added so keep an eye out. She's FABULOSO like a pair of new Prada shoes --- beautiful, sparkling, and great at breaking shit in. Go show Le Serial Cynica some love, won't you?

Second, what in the gentle name of jesus is THIS shit about?!?!

Excuse me, I'm off to have a few words with the front looming over my house. Right after I put on a sweater and some heavy boots....

*stomps away in big heavy boots for dramatic effect to have a few words with the front looming overhead*

Things I didn't learn in college

Lesson #1:

When attemtping to get hair to cooperate, set hair straightener to FRY THE SHIT OUT OF ANYTHING TOUCHING MY FIERY HOTPLATES.

Repeat at least 4 days in a row.

Dunk hair in giant vats of extra-firm hairspray. Repeat.

Grasshopper say, "All better."

[Editor's note: Did I tell you I'm going for the straightened hair look lately? Yup, the curly, wavy-do will be back.... soonish....]

26 Going on 13

Ever have a dream where you go to the doctor and they tell you the arteries to your heart are 90% blocked and 30% open?

Nah, me neither.

Soooooo... my blog is the place where I get to expose things about myself. Things would would normally embarrass the shiznit out of me. But INSTEAD... I get to tell you all about them here first and release myself from the FIERY SHACKLES OF HELL THAT BEAR DOWN ON ME WITH THE PRESSURE OF MY EMOTIONALLY CHARGED BURDENS.

Confession:

I love to watch movies. I *think* I like to watch old movies, new movies, action movies, comedies, and so on and so forth. But the fact is I find a movie I like and I stick with it. Over... and over... and over... and over... I'll knit to it, design to it, well... and mostly design to it. Mission Impossible 2 --> choreographed like a steamy love scene. French Kiss --> so delightfully charming I want to *eep* marry a frenchman! Elizabeth --> the anger makes me knit the shit out of all my current projects.

And now 13 Going On 30 is the newest addition to my list of kick-ass movies. Seriously, if I could marry this movie I totally would! It's girlie. It's pink. It totally rocks the 80's house. It's hilARIOUS. And Mark Ruffalo is so fucking adorable I could just pounce on him and lick him like a banana cream popsicle. Scccchhhhlllllppppppp!

Additionally, I highly recommend playing Literati with your best friend while watching the movie:

[Holy crap, Keira and I, like, use big words 'n stuff. One guess as to who built the word MAC.]

Token wisdom for the month

"to give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him. so it is with people: first let them do what they want, and watch them. this is the best policy. to ignore them is not good; that is the worst policy. the second worst is trying to control them. the best one is to watch them, just to watch them, without trying to control them."

-chinese wisdom according to magalator

Spooky

Why didn't anyone remind me that today is Friday the 13th? Now I only have less than 3 hours to enjoy the coolness that is today. I think I'll have some wheat thins to celebrate this glorious day...

Although I *wish* I were in Florida having a hurricane. Ha ha, oh my goddess I'm so funny. Hold is down kDawg (jeepers creepers I'm so funny I just might bust something). Only a few more hours of hurricane goodness is left!

9 Layers

Cuz I'm awake at 8 on a Saturday morning... It's the 9 Layers people.

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Margaret
-- Birth date: October 21, 1977
-- Birthplace: Sheboygan, WI
-- Current Location: Minneapolis, MN
-- Eye Color: Grey-Blue, with a touch of no less than 5 other colors
-- Hair Color: Lightish brown
-- Height: 5'8
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Libra

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: American, though apparently I have roots going back to Germany, France, Wales, and Scotland to name a few
-- The shoes you wore today: Just woke up, so the only thing I've worn are fluffy pink striped slippers
-- Your weakness: my best friend
-- Your fears: fear itself
-- Your perfect pizza: garlic basil sauce, topped with olive oil, fresh green peppers, mushrooms, italian sausage, canadian bacon, lots of red onions, and extra cheese - baked until the canadian bacon gets just a little bit crispy around the edges... and then topped with crushed red pepper
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: sickening demand for my design services, so that I can pursue my passions on my own agenda and time. And of course, with it comes the small benefit of bling bling, if you know what I'm sayin'.

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: (on my IM) "dood" or "meow"
-- Your first waking thoughts: What day is it?
-- Your best physical feature: my neck or lips
-- Your most missed memory: huh?

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: neither
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Mickey D's
-- Single or group dates: Single please
-- Adidas or Nike: I don't *do* tennis shoes, mkay?
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Organic
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Swirl that shiz
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Tea

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: *puff puff* no
-- Cuss: fucking straight
-- Sing: much to my neighbor's dismay, yes
-- Take a shower everyday: always
-- Do you think you've been in love: relatively, yes
-- Want to go to college: been there, done that
-- Liked high school: it fucked me up just like everyone else
-- Want to get married: perhaps
-- Believe in yourself: always
-- Get motion sickness: only when I'm bouncing on an intertube, being pulled by a speedboat
-- Think you're attractive: I think I have my moments
-- Think you're a health freak: conscious, yes - freak, hell no
-- Get along with your parent(s): *warm hugs* yes
-- Like thunderstorms: *LOVE* thunderstorms
-- Play an instrument: not anymore

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: huh huh, yeah
-- Smoked: no
-- Done a drug: um, no
-- Made out: ah crap, I'm totally busted - yes
-- Gone on a date: um, no
-- Gone to the mall?: If the Nicollet mall counts, yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: ew
-- Eaten sushi: sadly, no
-- Been on stage: no
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: how old am I, 13?
-- Made homemade cookies: I actually had homemade cookies made for me - does that count?
-- Dyed your hair: *loud sigh* no
-- Stolen Anything: goddess no

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
-- If so, was it mixed company: yes
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: who made this survey? Um, yeah - that might've happened
-- Been caught "doing something": as in... ?
-- Been called a tease: probably behind my back
-- Gotten beaten up: love people, don't hate
-- Shoplifted: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: didn't everyone try at least once?

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: I prefer to live in the present
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 'scuse me?
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: elation
-- How do you want to die: happy
-- Where you want to go to college: japan
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: uber designer
-- What country would you most like to visit: Czech Republic (Prague)

LAYER NINE:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 1
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: less than 6
-- Number of CDs that I own: around... a lot
-- Number of piercings: 4 left
-- Number of tattoos: nil
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: under a dozen - mostly when I used to win awards dancing
-- Number of scars on my body: 8. Ish?
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: everything has been perfect to lead me to now

End of the SRP™

I think it's about time I laid the Summer Reading Programme™ to good rest. After all, I'm batting 11 in 3 months and that ain't bad.

I will now be spending my time knitting.

On MY BRAND NEW COUCH!!

And while you're at it, check out the gooooorgeous art on the wall. It's a housewarming present from Shea the miracle framer and is so gorgeous I could just about lick my new fillet. Mmmmm... fillet.

Mall chapel

*shakes head*

Wow, nothing like the sanctity of marriage. Wonder if there was a pre-nup involved, and when daddy finds out there wasn't one who's ass will get handed first?

You can catch me in the 2008 Olympics

'Tis the season to play british drinking games. I realized no one would believe I actually spent my Friday afternoon lawn bowling so I pulled some pictures to PROVE I know how to toss some balls.

Yes people, lawwwwwwwwwwn bowling.

Me.

If I were English it would have been a typical Friday afternoon. And just before all that drinking went down we played a jolly good game on the green lawns of... downtown Minneapolis. Should it come as a surprise that my raw talent earned the nickname of, "The Ringer"? Apparently I know just what do do with balls when I've had a little alcohol. I'm just sayin' people. It's *just* like when I played that English pool game - the one with all the little nobs sticking up out of the half-size pool table. The one where I kicked no less than 3 british asses in to Humiliation Alley with their own game. On their own turf. In to submission. OH THE HORROR OF AN AMERICAN WOMAN HUMILIATING 3 GROWN, ENGLISH MEN!

And then I batted my eyes. (Always best to batte your eyes and dish out compliments in a moment like that)

Figured since it's early in the week you'll be in need of a few laughs.

More ancient chinese wisdom

This is my non-solicited advice for the day:

When all hell is breaking loose Confuscious say, "Make sure you're connected to the correct database."

*shuffles off to connect to correct database after a very loud and admitting sigh*

Things to w00t about

Unexpected things make me real, real happy.

1. Having meetings all morning - making a normally boring day seem... well, not boring 'n stuff
2. Winning at Literati
3. Gorgeous sketchbook with polkadots in multi-margaret colors
4. Getting a raise!

Join with me in a collective: "W00t".

The spoiled life

In light of all this I decided to treat my creative self.

Treating a creative self is both difficult and rewarding, but for me it's always like Mission Impossible: super secret, quasi-realistic, daunting, and worst of all without Tom Cruise. See, for the majority of my life I spent the majority of my time surrounding myself with a majority of things that are safe. For example, if I purchased a notebook it was blue. Because blue is a safe color that I surely will never, ever get sick of. Whew! Good thing I have that whole notebook situation taken care of, eh? Couches, dishes, books, blankets, and clothes. Ugh... the clothes! Wretched, wretched conservativism!!!

So it was about 6 months before I got this website that all that bullshit went flying out the door. How else does one end up with a pink website I ask of you? So it's in the small things, like multi-colored sketchbooks of the blue, pink, green, orange, yellow, and purple variety that make me jump out of my baby blue capris's!

I highly encourage everyone to spoil themsleves.

(If you're looking for suggestions I'm full of them! Try stopping by Banana Republic this weekend and dropping a couple hundred on new clothes. Or you could go out and buy a new couch. Or get yourself a beautiful & talented web designer to design a gorgeous new website for you. I'm just sayin'....)

Publicizing my dealer

Lo, my organic Caribou dealer is leaving for a bigger, badder operation *sniffle*. Bye bye *tear* Heather.

The hook up

This just in - stop the press!

Is it really necessary for Britney to justify that which everyone condemns on national TV? Doesn't she understand people will just have more ammo for all the tomfoolery going on, and not behind her back I might add. Not to mention all the lives this will affect - e.g. his KIDS! Go move in a trailer in Florida why don't you - perhaps a hurricane will drop a house on you. Now that would make your husband famous!

In other news, The Best Places to Die according to the leading experts on the subject. Forbes. (AKA a bunch of crotchety old fogies with nothing better to do then talk about money and DEATH)

UTAH?!?! Really? Wow. And all this time I thought I would prefer to live a quality existence in an ocean-front property parked somewhere in the Carribean. But if Utah is the place to be, I'll be there. To put the "You" in tah (I'm like, funny 'n stuff tonight). Work with me here people.

I think I'll buy a pink satchel to cure my problem

Question.

So... if you're a woman. And you're carrying a satchel - you know, one of those over the shoulder bag doo dads - and you want to sling it crosswise over your chest for ease of walking (for example if you walk a mile and a quarter to work), what is the proper way to sling?

Imagine with me for a minute, men - this is truly one of the great mysteries of the universe (not completely unlike the mystery of how women bend over to pick up anything off the ground in a mini-skirt, or how we manage to walk in 4 inch spike heels): Does the strap criss-crossing your torso go between your breasts? Perhaps it goes above them. Oh ridiculousness imagining trying to get the strap below them. Heh.

This is a real cunnundrum people.

Variables include size and type of satchel. Material of satchel. Size of chest. Weight of satchel (if it's light enough you can carry over one shoulder, thus eliminating problem, end of story).

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd.... GO people! I'm looking for real, solid answers! None of those baby answers. Bring it on. Hop to it. Many, many thanks.

Also... this is a PSA people. When you sneeze, try to sneeze in to a tissue or a the VERY least your hand. Cuz when you do one of those big wet sneezes, where your lips flap, where spray goes all over your monitor, where you have to wipe your mouth afterwards... I beg of you to please, please, please cover your mouth. Something. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY DO ANYTHING!!!

*anxiously awaiting the answer to one of life's great mysteries*

JOTD

How do you get an 80 year old woman to yell FUCK!

(Click on the link below to see the answer)

Continue reading "JOTD" »

Feast your organs out

1. Appetizer: What does the color pink make you think of?

Prancing through fields of delicate pink flowers with teeny little kittens with pink bows around their necks. Ha ha. Actually.... I think it's a very feminine color with the unique quality of being be sophisticated and sexy!

2. Soup: Name something you have lost but later found.

My love for the unconservative (is that even a word?).

3. Salad: In 3 words, describe this past week.

Healing. Creative. Prosperous.

4. Main Course: What are you obsessed with?

Friday's Feast. Kidding. KIDDING! My real answer, Bob, is anything that's creative, beautiful, sensual, colorful, and has the ability to affect one or more of my sensory organs in that eye-popping way.

5. Dessert: What kind of perfume or cologne do you like to wear?

This question is so funny because I get asked what I'm wearing alllllllll the time. If there's an opposite of a skunk, I am it. For starters I prefer body splashes and lotion from Victoria's Secret of the Sweet Temptation, Amber Romance, Passionate Kisses, Love Spell, and 33 variety. Mmmmmmm... I also highly recommend a bottle of Ginger Essence from Origins. Scchllllpppppppp! Top it off with shower gel and you'll smell as sweet as Sopheava (which according to Websiter is now the official opposite of a skunk).

*sniff sniff*

You smell that?

It's the smell of HANGOVER and it's coming on strong. I don't normally drink - well, EVER - but it reeketh of oncoming hangover in here. What else do you do after 40 hours of work is erased in one single keystroke - NOT by yourself I might add.

Seriously, if it had happened to ANYONE else in my department there would be a jar of male reproductive organs on display in the common area. But noooooo....

Excuse me, I'm in an intimate relationship with alcohol right now and need to tend to. It.

Cuz I'm feeling generous

Implemented a new design today... but client requires super secret privacy of the hush and mum variety. So.... that means I can't link to the site but I CAN post a mostly blurry thumbnail of the work.

'Tis a wonderful day for designing in brown, don't you think?

Weekend entertainment

I did something today I haven't done in at least 8 months.

I.
Rented.
Movies.

Obvious? Yes. Overdue? Indubitably. Worth the mega-bucks forked over to rent 4 movies? Jury is still out, but let's just say I'm thusfar feh.

Movie #1: School of Rock

Love, love, loooooooove the D. Heard many good things about this flick and picked it up hoping JB wouldn't shit all over a perfectly good movie with his obnoxiousness. He didn't and it was entertaining. I have ZERO excuse for tearing up at the end. I did. Deal with it.

Movie #2: You Got Served

Thankfully the bad acting is completely dismissed for the massive amounts of dancing going on in this flick. Regardless of whether you're in to breaking, this movie is well choreographed and entertaining. It's on point, yo. Pump it up!

Movie #3: Russian Ark

Story goes... that this 2 hour flick was filmed in ONE shot. One long and continuous shot. What's even more amazing is that the plot moves the viewer through 200 years of Russian history - complete with elaborate costumes, sets, and intricacies. Keira calls this a "Margaret Flick" because artsy period pieces hook me like gullible sea bass. [Do note it's best to NOT watch a subtitled movie while you're on your computer or cooking a 6 inch high homemade pizza. At least, that's what I heard, of course.]

Movie #4: Lost In Translation

I've been told to see this "good" movie by everyone that's seen it. Something along the lines of, "You'll adoooorrrrre this movie cuz you lived overseas and you'll be able to .... blah blah blah". I have no comment about all the blah blah yet because I haven't seen the flick as off press time, but let's just say that I thought Sofia Coppola's first work, Virgin Suicides, was done extreeeemely well. That's extreme with 4 e's. Wow.

Off to watch my moooooovies.

Crisp confession

Intervene. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY INTERVENE! I am totally addicted to garlic parmesan goodness... which would be so much more cool and hip provided that I met anyone who enjoys these tasty treats as much as I do. So for the past 9 years I've had to enjoy the taunting goodness of these toasty treats much as a guilty puppy enjoys ripping the head and arms off a poor, unsuspecting dinosaur.

*loud sigh*

Make 'em. Love 'em. Blah blah blah. Mkay, thanks.

Crispy Tortilla Garlic Parmesan Goodness
Tortillas
Butter
Parmesan
Garlic powder

Spread tortilla's with butter, and sprinkle with garlic powder and parmesan. Cut in to triangles and broil at 450 until smell of garlicy, parmesanie goodness bends you over --- making you watch each bubble crisp to perfectly perfect perfection.

And if you're adventurous sprinkle freshly ground pepper and sea salt on top of finished product.

Go forth and make ye crisps.

*Doing Happy Dance*

Yet another reason why I KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!! Wooo hooooooooo! She's my ho and Literati is my dominion. Mwah ha ha ha ha!

Today's miseducation

Factoid #1: I torture myself with a walk to work that's well over a mile (my thighs and rear would like to momentarily interrupt this jaw-clenching entry to say, "Thank you very much - smooch!")

Factoid #2: The quick of the lot will realize that means the same for my long journey home every evening.

Factoid #3: I am the epitemy of high-heel loving, pink wearing, lipstick smooching, perfume bogarting, knee-high black boots sporting woman --> meaning high heels are very, verrrrry necessary. And well over 50% of the week people. None of this "special occassion" bullshit. Every day is a special day. Hear that? All the little birdies are singing... tra la la...

Factoid #4: On the days when I wear 4 inch knee-high black boots (alternatively, 4 inch high ANYTHING), I confess!: I break a sweat. That happened today. Yup. It sure did. We're not talking sweat, sweat. We're talking girlie sweat of the minimal variety.

Factoid #5: Last night I dreamt I was one of the superkul blogmoxie designers. What the ???

Factoid #6: I listen to music while I work. I listen to music at freakishly loud decibels with super-booming bass while I work.

Factoid #7: I do not enjoy drinking lukewarm water. At all.

Factoid #8: Three of the factoids are occurring right.... NOW!

Crow goes commercial

Here's a fucked up little game for when you're looking for fucked up little games...

Weird.

Older and scarier

Give me moment to get this off my chest.

There are old people in my building. Lots and lots and lottttttts of old people in my building.

A) These people listen to their TVs at freakishly loud volumes. They also wake up at 6 am and go to bed at 11:30 pm. I know because I can HEAR EVERY FUCKING THING COMING FROM EVERY FUCKING SPEAKER OF THEIR GOD DAMNED TVS THROUGH 6 INCHES OF CONCRETE ABOVE AND BELOW ME!!!!! Go crochet a fucking doiley and use your inside voices, will ya? Sheesh.

B) And these are *also* the people who get in the elevator and carefully squash themselves in the ONE corner where the buttons for all the floors are. So after I (always) let them in first, I have to reach over their cruel, disgusting, they want to beat me up with their cane looks on their faces to press 6. I know, right? How could I be more bitchy than to press the number for my floor. Satan, take me now!

C) And then there's the old farts who ride the elevator up and down all day. It's like a social club. I see them in the elevator pretty much every time I get in. They're in the elevator. They're in the foyer. They're standing around giving me "you fucking young yuppie, non-appreciative liberals" looks. YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS? HUH?!?! Bring it on GRAND-pa!

And of course, I'm so nice to them I want to make myself sick. I smile at them, I talk to them if they're not shaking in their boots with fear, I always hold doors and elevators open for them, and always always always let them in first. Christ, I'd even bake them a god damned fruit cake if they'd turn down those FUCKING TVs!

Ok, thanks for letting me vent.

HUGE apologies

Excuse me for a minute while I KICK MY OWN ASS!

To the person in the Netherlands who tried to contact me *sigh* my contact form was not working. All is fixed now. The world is well. Kittens have found their mittens.

However, to he who hast contacted me via my contact form and has not received a response ---- Confuscious say, "Try again all better."

Mucho mucho thanks.

Come one, come all

Ggggggggmail invites!

I got 'em! Who wants 'em? Email me

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Let's play an old game of Highlights

Let's play a fun game, shall we?!!! Here's the rules...

1) I show you a picture and you tell me what's unusual about the picture.

That's it! Simple. Easy to the fasheezy. Ready?.... and let's start!!!!

Well? Is there aaaaaannnnnnnything about that picture that looks unusual to you? Hint: It's definitely *not* the Libra-shirt. Ok, let's try another.

Ready?

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd....

GO!

Ok, that one was *definitely* my fault because the quality of dust on my mirror is of biblical proportions. One more shot.

One...

Two...

...hold your breath...

THREE!!!

For anyone who didn't see these god awful photos of me, it might be difficult to spot that I DID SOMETHING CRAZY TO MY HAIR TONIGHT!!!!! Blonde. Red. I married them and put them to bed on my head. We're one happy family and I am soooooooooooo loving it!!! Yipppeeeee! Of course it's all much cooler in person... will I be seeing anyone soon?

Sweet Sangria

I'll write more later... yup, sure will. But for the next 2 hours I'll be completely unreachable as I'm cozied up in wee knickers watching this: Tori Amos on DVD, in Sunny Florida.

So I actually had this one boyfriend who was thoughtful for all of 2 micro seconds, and he surprised me with a trip to New York - and then I found out AFTER we got there the whole point of the trip was so I could see Tori Amos in concert at Radio City Music Hall.

Like. Wow.

I mean, I love Tori Amos. I have all her albums, but I'm not a freak about her.. ya know? I just like her music. I dig it. It's great for when I'm working because her creativity spills out all over the place like a sophisticated but snotty 5 year old trying to contain its, um, snot. ? Classy. Pure. And quality.

What the ???? Am I still talking?

But let's just say that they saged the entire auditorium before she came out, and when the music finally started... I cried. I can't believe I'm admitting it. I. Actually. Cried. 'Twas the most amazing concert I've ever seen (but you have to figure her competition was a Kiss revival concert, Steppenwolf revival - twice, and New Kids On The Block ---- and I'd like to add that NONE of those concerts were of my own volition).

Holy crap, I'm still talking... gotta shuffle...

The last time

I feel guilty for pulling a bunch of skins from my skins page. You know, don't you? The page where you go to make sopheava.com the grooviest, most personalized site ever.

Soooo...

They're back.

Go look at my skin. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL of my skin. Over and over and over. Switch it up. Move it around. Take it off. It'll be fun 'n stuff! Henceforth... I will never, EVER, yank on them again. Brownie promise.

Interior shakage

My new friend Roger toooooootally inspired me to get off my bootie and start finishing off some of the lame pieces laying around.

I present, lame skin #1. Which isn't particularly lame... but bold. And um, pretentious? And.... sophisticated. Yeah, that's it. Good words.

Click here to change the skin to bold and pretentious goodness, won't you? Bold and pretentious are for winners!

The cast and crew

Something I've been toying around with for ages is the idea of a 'cast' for this site. You know... brief descriptions of some of the people that I'm always talking about around here. And by brief I mean an extremely exaggerated paragraph or two compromising any and all solid relationships I might have.

First, it's a moral imperative that you check out Infinite Pink's brilliant cast. That shit *CRACKS* me up!!! Especially the Count's picture. Makes me wish I had a friend in a mink coat. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

You may or may not wish to keep your eyes peeled for a cast... Posting one means I'd have to write one... and writing one means I'd have to, uhhhhhhh, write one.

We'll continue all this later.

Morning Feast

A feast AND I have a confession. Every guy needs to own a long sleeved, black, button up shirt. Because I swear I've never, EVER, not seen one I didn't like. Mmmmmmmmmm...... with a 'k'.

I digress.

1. Appetizer: What is a word that your family uses that would not be considered common?

Ummmmmmmmmmm.... dalt? Or brats. Oooooh, I know. They call hot dogs WEINERS!

2. Soup: What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?

At work I have a chinese brush painting calendar.

3. Salad: Name 3 people you speak with on a daily basis.

Le Serial Cynica, this hyperactivo, and hottie mediterranean man without a 'k'.

4. Main Course: If you could put a new tattoo on someone you know - who would it be, what would the tattoo be of, and where would you put it on them?

I'd put a word on Steve. Why? So that he'll remember his own name! Ha ha ha, omg I'm so funny! No really, he was going to do the word thing anyway so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get my ass handed to me.

5. Dessert: What is the last beverage you drank out of a glass bottle?

Apple-Cranberry Green Tea of the chillin' variety.

Swedenized

Please read this while I'm ON THE FLOOR IN STITCHES LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!!

Swedes are, like, cool.

Thilence ith golthen

E'eryun shood suk on ice. Cuz iths fun to not bthe able to thalk to cowerthers.

Happy, happy thilence.

*...lithens thoo the thweet thilence...*

There ain't no arms... *sing along* looooong enough

Excuse me for a moment while I pimp myself. *... reaches over for a martini and kicks up high heels...*

So I did this design for a piece of software -- which of course is completely private, purchasable, and GORGEOUS! -- and I'd like to take this opportunity for all my favorite peeps to see its orangie goodness.

Riiiiiight. So somtimes I give myself ridiculous goals like: "Design A Piece Of Technical, Data Heavy Software In ORANGE, Cuz Orange Is The New Drop-Shadowed Gradient That Tips Its Crystal Martini Glass In Salutations In The Land Of Ubershique".

At least last week it was. So now I give you to a snippet called "LOOOOOGIN". Go buy something orange. Mwah!

Silent distractions

To get you through the weekend. Go download some music, won't you?

1. Karsh Kale - GK2 & Home (FUCK! and get Instinct too while you're at it)
2. Madonna - Bedtime Story
3. Buddha Bar II - Felicidade
4. Bjork - Human Behaviour
5. Vast - Thrown Away & Touched
6. Sarah Brightman - Misere Mei
7. Missy Elliott - Hot Boyz
8. Faithless - If Loving You Is Wrong
9. Pharoah Monche - Simon Says
10. Alicia Keys - Feeling U, Feeling Me & So Simple

Right. So that actually makes 14 tunes but everyone needs to be overstimulated this weekend according to Libran Lore.

If anyone wants a copy of anything drop me a line. I *will* represent.

Human behaviour

Work on implementing said software design:

CHECK!

General house cleaning and showing plants love:

CHECK!

Knit second panel of the most gorgeous shawl you've ever seen:

CHECK!

Do friend favor by driving him out to Ikea for some supplies:

CHECK!

Purchase kick ass mirror and chinese floor lamp for my zen, vanillatastic apartment:

CHECK!

Design and code spiffy new girlie skin cuz the last one didn't quite salve my pink fix (do change the skin and show the love, won't you?) -- and extra snaps for the person who knows what the quote is from...

CHECK!

Effort to get Websters to bring WIDTH and HEIDTH around as new standards in measurement because they're now synonymous and balanced:

Gaining momentum

Sleep in on Saturday morning:

...hangs head in shame and defers until Sunday morning, now that that pesky world peace thing is taken care of...

Sunny cynica

The end of mercury retrograde and the full moon tonight make for one generous bizatch ( <-- that's me).

Not only did I *not* venture out today and give suburbanites scathing looks, I also did not get out of bed until very, very late, I did not not watch Shakespeare in Love (think about that one for a moment), I did not eat disgusting, greasy leftovers, and I most CERTAINLY did not design anything.

*anyone buying that last bit????* Thought so.

Generosity floweth overeth. Back off ye greedy skin lovers, I've already pimped out my girl with a brand new skin --- a sunny, pink porsche adorned skin to fit her sunny personality. Good goddess I crack myself up!

Please, show her massive end of mercury retrograde, full moon love, won't you?

Who the ? and what the ?

Hmmmmm... lots and lots of pimping and pictures around here lately. I'll try real, real hard to be done with the art and get back to the words thing. Soon.

So the Olympics are done and I missed the entire thing. I know I *should* care but I really don't give a flying hoot about much of it... what I *DO* give a flying hoot about is the whole MTV Video Music awards that went down last night. Crazy outfits, crazy hair, Usher winning over Prince. Sssscccchlllppp! But the biggest event of the night was the event where I became bemused and contorted my face over a whole lot of, "Who the FUCK are they's?" slipping out of my mouth.

Yes people, I do believe this officially means I'm ooooooooooooolllldd. Fuck.

Back in the old days when I was Young, and Hip, ... and With It, I knew who all the celebrities were and was especially versed on all the latest goss. Now I see pictures online of these young whippersnappers and have to get Keira to fill me in on how Disney is taking over the world. Who is this Hillary Duff chic? And Lindsey Lohan - other than her boob job what's her claim to fame? Then there's some Mischa Barton doodad (will someone tell me how to pronounce all these names?), and for goodness sakes, does Paris Hilton realize that she's famous because SHE'S THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE PLANET EARTH?!!!

If anyone wants to reach me, I'll be busy moving all my things in to a new demographic.

Timbuktu

I'm really bad at jokes, so I have to lean on him and him to make me funny.

In the vain of "Ole and Lena" yokes...

Robert Frost and Ole die at precisely the same time. When they get to heaven, St. Peter informs them there's only room enough for one of them. To decide who gets to stay, St. Peter says they must compose a poem including the word "Timbuktu". The winner gets to stay.

Robert Frost smirks and writes:

Ole responds:

Tricks of the Trade

Everyone needs to read this: Tricks of the Trade. A few of my favorites...

Desktop Support
(We actually do this one at my company - internally. The only difference is we do it to each other's face. Heh.)

Nurse
(Also useful when assessing whether someone is passed out. I'm guessing... of course.)

Proofreader
(I actually do this one and it works great. It's also GREAT for designers looking at their works. Gives a good sense of balance to the project.)

Software Tester
(Guilty. But it makes my job of cleaning up other people's code so much more fun when there's unexpected comments laying around!)

Technical Support
(I'm sorry to say that I think someone pulled this on me once and totally got away with it. I suck.)

House of vanity

Several of my peeps have asked, and Steve likens it to a "shining beacon in Ikea", so I'm finally posting some new pictures of my hair. Hopefully you can actually see the beautiful marriage that is color this time. And as a special treat I am giving you full size versions. Click on each thumbnail to view the sugary, buttery sweetness that is its current state. Overall consensus? Women everywhere give it a resounding "You're fucking psycho and AWESOME! I wish *I* could do something that daring to my hair." Males everywhere give it a, "Holy crap, you did something to your hair!" Typical male response. "Hooooooonnnneyyyy? Where are my glasses? Oh wait, they're on. NEVERMIIIIIINNNND." It's hair dye people, not a tattoo.

And since we're on the topic of vanity can we talk for a moment about the weirdness of standing in front of the new mirror in your bedroom and snapping a boatload of smiley, Check Out Me And My Dope Hair Cuz They're The Bomb photos??? I feel all, vain 'n stuff. But if I may, for just a moment, point out the extreme LONGNESS that is my torso!!! I haven't mentioned this before? Well, let's recap just a bit.

As it turns out, I inherited the genes of my father and have an EXTREMELY long torso. I inherited the genes of my mother and have a beautiful upper body. I inherited the genes of the milkman and have long legs. Fuck if ANNNNYYYONE in the family knows where I got the long legs from. I'm like the long legged, long torso'd black sheep of the family that towers above a bunch of the men and alllll of the women.

So you see that skin showing on my stomach? Yup. That's pretty normal around here cuz there's not a single designer, anywhere, that designs tops long enough for my freaky torso.

Now.

I'm not complaining cuz I think it's rather attractive 'n all that. I rock the hip hugger hizzy, but you have to consider that I started a movement in Minneapolis. The Wear An Xtra Small Tank Top Bought In The Men's Department Under Your Clothes To Cover Your Freakishly Long Torso™ movement. Standard Hanes. Fruit of the Loom. Whatever your flavor.

Like I could make this shit up.

It seems that certain people in and around my circle started emmulating my layering style, not realizing the whole "form over function" bit. Heh. None of these people have long torso's but it's funny to see them with white tanks hanging out the bottom of their shirts cuz they think it's so stylish.

I think I'm going to trademark that shit. Can I do that?

Augustuses listeses

Here's August's list. Pick up a vanilla candle and read to the smell of vanilla.

hair dye | IKEA | the creativity faerie | a beautiful view | wireless internet | covered parking spot | literati | mikey p | yahoo audibles | welcome to sunny florida | 13 Going On 30 | karsh kale | *warm hug* family | the walk to work | gmail | font lister | ice | pretty scenery | pink panther | knee-high black boots | mercury retrograde (-end of) | water | creative zen | tea candles | beginnings and endings