Who greets someone by shoving their shoulder in to you, like a middle aged hockey playing poser, thus ramming you straight in the wall?
I'm just asking people. There might be.... ooh ooh, wait! I know the answer to this one. It's this guy I work with!
Saying hello to him in the hallways has now become an event - like when you try to walk as far as you can with your eyes closed. Or when you try to slip a banana peel in to the computer of one of the java developers. And then proceeding to say, "Ewwwww, what's that smell emitting from your area? Yuck!" (That joke will just NEVER get old).
I digress.
As for *this* particular fellow, everytime I see him I find myself mentally preparing for what might happen... will it be sailor day when I get a salute? Or are you feeling like a hockey player, wanting to ram me in to the wall like one of your mates (sorry, can't drop the hockey player thing - that just happened this afternoon).
"Um, do you see these 3 1/2 inch heels? I don't *do* physical contact, mmmmkay? Great, glad we have that straight." To reinforce this last little bit I make sure to say something extra sharp and under the table so he gets my point. I do verbal jabbing, just like that other libran indigo goddess. Alas, the fruits of my efforts are usually pointless as he jests, "Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, howwwww's it going Margaret?"
I think he's on to me.
My bitchy, sarcastic plot is spoiled and he has proceeded to the stage of human interaction whereabouts he attempts to one-up his very own childish games with every new greeting. I expect him to sneak up on me and pull my ponytail any day now. Or mayyyyyyyyybe it's just a sales thing. I mean, I've never been a salesman so maybe that's how big corporate deals are snagged? By a strange twist in events where one CEO pulls the ponytail of another VP of sales' curly up-do - and BAM! Microsoft has Google flat on its back in a merger. Word.
Isn't it amazing what people do to entertain themselves in the office? In addition to the book I'm going to make massive amounts of money writing titled No Sex and the City™, I will also be producing an updated version of "Office Space". My version will be MUCH funnier and Stacy Dash gets to play Keira. Oooooh, PROJECT!
Comments
Ok most sales guys are trying to compensate for lack of something, what that is up to you. Either that or he likes you, like in kindergarden.
Actually, after I posted this I realized that someone would probably think that. I should have added that he's middle-aged, married, has two-kids, and is really - really in to himself.
Which means - ha ha - it's probably the first theory.