6 garbleflanks

Where do I begin tonight? So much to discuss, so many reader's with personality disorders. Scratch that. Attention disorders. I will can only promise to travel the mouthy road I normally travel so stick with me here folks.

This message will self destruct in 10 garbleflanks.

1. Everyone not living under a rock knows venus is in transit today, right?
Even *I*, one without any sort of media around to tell me what to think, knows about this monumental affair. And why shouldn't I? My home planet is practically roasting deserving males to honor the extreme sacredness of... transiting. Just think of it - nice, juicy men being ever so slightly browned. And don't forget the apple in the mouth. And some sprigs of flavor tucked behind the ears. What a wonderful event, don't you think? It's a good thing I found out too, because I was just at the point of passing the blame for all the fucked upedness in my life on to some unsuspecting fuckchop™. Which brings me to point 2.

2. My sincerest apologies to anyone at the receiving end of my bitchiness.
Let's be clear about something straight off: by bitchiness I quite literally mean honesty (the world could do with a little more honesty is all I'm saying). But one particular individual has been taking the grunt of all my hang-ups, fears, and all-around bitchiness like a fucking champ. Yes, I said *FUCKING* champ. In fact, this person should receive an award titled "I Put Up With Mags And Am A Better Person For It." Wait, that sounds more like a t-shirt. Damnit. In any case, I blame my hangups on the venus transit thing. All my love to this person for being so bloody patient.

3. Right, so my new favorite word is 'fuckchop'™.
Oh how I wish I could take full credit for this beautiful, perfectly formed word. No can do on that one folks, Timmy pooh is the cunning lingual culprit once again (oooooh, that sounded dirty, huh?!). In case you haven't heard, fuckchop is the new black. Fuckchop™ is all the latest craze in insults. Everybody wants to use the fuckchop™. Fuckchop™ is just soooooooo all the rage. Go on ye followers and spread thy fuckchop™ word.

4. Chris Isaak's Wicked Game makes me want to fall in love.
..... with you. What the fuck? Where did this item come from? Oh right, it's playing on my MP3 player at the moment. Such a lovely tune, don't you think? Makes me want to run around a grayscale beach in my underwear.

5. I will be attending this over the course of the next few days.
Usability Conference: $1000. Usability Conference being held 6 blocks from my apartment: priceless. As if I could *BE* so lucky to have attended last year's conference in Scottsdale, AZ. Or the conference the year before that in Florida. Nope, the conference is --- wait, how did they put it?:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I'll leave this one alone since I actually love the city I live in. I'm just saying people.

(As an aside, the usability people sure could use(ability) a little help on their website. EEEK!)

6. Perfect rain rocks the hizzy.
Tra la la.

Much-ass grassy-ass for ye ol' attention kind folk. Go now, be merry.