Back at mDogg's perfectly zen, vanilla scented, japanese themed pad, mDogg was chillin' to the smooth sounds of Buddha Bar. "What a beautiful day to..." *ring ring* mDogg threw down the king cobra, lolled out of bed, and shuffled across the room in her pink sweatpants. "No one has the audacity to call this number - this can only mean one thing. My clever, beautiful, gorgeous, intelligent Indigo sister needs backup of the smart-mouthed goddess variety."

"mDogg, I'll be there in 10 minutes - make that 5 minutes. We have some serious goatherding ass to fuck up in a voodoo-themed way today. I'm right around the corner at Victoria's Secret getting supplies."

mDogg violently threw the cursed phone across the room. "BASTARDS!" She immediately smothered herself in Amber Romance, piped up Collide on full volume, slithered in to a black mini-skirt with thigh-high velvet stilettos, and strung together the black laced corset. Moments later the sweet sounds of thumping bass and screeching tires resonated from outside her window and mDogg swaggered outside as if on que.

As mDogg flipped her hair and put on her tinted Gucci sunglasses, she remarked, "Let's get the fuck out of here. I feel the need to bust some goatherding ass."

10 minutes later...

"Shaken. Not stirred. VERY chilled. Straight up. Oh, and sugar and powder the rim, please. Make that two, Marcello, and make it fast. mDogg and I are on a mission and need a quick refueling. Every time you two run off on your little rendezvous, you deplete the mDogg's Qi. As a matter of fact, you probably need to whip up a couple of lemon drops too for good measure. Extra sugar on those lemons."

*Yelling over to shamelessly-flirting-with-someone-else-mDogg across the bar* "Hey m, what's that one shot that that one guy at that one joint in Erialcuae used to make for us all the time? No, not that one... The one you light on fire... YEAH! That's it! "

"Errrriiiiic, can you please make us two of those while we're waiting on Marcello? We LOVE fire! "

Back at the super-secret, quasi-realistic, bad guy compound our master evildoer writhed in his curdoroy knickers.

"THEY SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW!" he screamed at all the incompetent, horribly disfigured henchmen. Spit and sweat emanated from his every orifice as he helplessly waited. Seething.

"WHY ARE THEY STILL AT THE OVER-PRICED, GORGEOUS, ULTRA-SWANKY MARTINI LOUNGE?!!!! Things are NOT going to plan. Bubba, Francis, Dwayne, you're coming with me to launch a full-scale attack on THEIR turf. All other battalions fall in. We have work to do."

Back at the Over-priced, Gorgeous, Ultra-Swanky Martini Lounge, the Beautiful Indigo Goddesses were thoroughly enjoying their drinks and stimulating conversation with all of the impeccably groomed, well spoken, artistic, creative, well-traveled, wealthy, hunk-of-burning-love men that swarmed around them. "Ahhh, does it GET any better than this," mDogg remarked. "It most certainly doesn't, m. We are truly blessed. And beautiful. Did I mention how fucking *gorgeous* we look right now??" "Hee hee hee," they giggled.

Life was great for the Goddesses. They had completely forgotten all about the -- "Hey, what's that smell?? Sniff.. Sniff.." "HERDERS!!!," they both exclaimed. "What the FUCK are these ASSHOLES doing on OUR TURF?! This is IT!! The LAST straw! It is ON!" mDogg commanded.

"I've got the ammo. Where are the guns?" Kaydee asked. "Hel-loooo-ooo?? Aren't they in your picnic basket in the Porsche? mDogg answered. "Hee hee -- shit -- they sure are. BEHIND THE BAR -- emergency hand grenades! That'll hold them off until we get the REAL artillery."

"M, give me just a minute. I have to run in the back and throw on my sparkling, gold bikini. It goes with my Gucci sunglasses, you know *wink wink*. Donatella told me this piece was for her favorite 'dahhh-ling'. It's time I finally put it to proper use: thwarting evil and laughing in the face of stupidity and fear."

mDogg just threw her hair back and giggled. "Oh my goddess, the one you bought when we were in Milan? That color looks SO fantastic on you. It really brings out the lovely shade of bronze in your skin. Wait a second, stay on point, yo. We have work to do. While you're getting changed in to your ultra-sheek getup, I'll fire up the boat and get our parachute packs ready. Hee hee - sometimes I feel sorry for the herders. If only they knew what was coming. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I just said 'come'."

"Owwww, my stomach. Stop making me laugh mDogg. It's hard to stay focused when you're all distracting me with your clever humor and witty intellect. You're completely ridiculous. OH MY GOD, I just said 'dick.'" Hee hee hee hee... The Indigo Goddesses laughed themselves right into their sporty little pink sparkly speedboat.

"Vroom, vroom!! Let's go blow some shit up mDogg!!"

"Right-o Kaydee," mDogg replied as she peeled out of the dock like a bat out of hell - her hometown. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeee," they sang in unison.

"I think the Goat Cave is about 15 miles NE."

"Oh Kaydee, you just sit there and look pretty. Goddess knows you have NO sense of direction!"

"Hey! I do too have a sense of... Hey look! Pretty shiny things in the water!"

"Oh my Gentle Horus! I think those are tracks to the Herder Cave! Let's follow them and see where they lead," mDogg said. They followed the tracks for nearly 20 miles when they finally reached...

The smelly. Ugly. Dreaded. Goat Herder Compound. *dun dun dunnnnnnn*

"You grab the ammo and I'll grab the torture devices and climbing equipment," Kaydee whispered.

"Got 'em," mDogg whispered back. Kaydee dashed to the side of the cave and made a perfect shot with her climbing hook right into the edge of the herder's compound. mDogg and Kaydee scaled the cave like pros until they reached the lookout station at the top. "Ping, ping, ping," Kaydee's gun, with a silencer, of course, went as she took out the 3 incompetent goat guards. "Nice shot," mDogg praised. "Can I get the next one?"

"Of COURSE you can," Kaydee laughed. "I can't have ALL the fun here! Lets move down to the main floor. We'd better get our gas masks on now. That smell can be JUST unbearable."

The Goddesses moved stealthily down the winding stairs until they had a clear view of the herder's main defense floor. "I hope you kissed your loved ones this morning, because that was the LAST time you're going to see those mother fuckers!!!!!" Kaydee shouted as she threw down 2 handfuls of tear gas and grenades.

"AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH," mDogg charged as she vaulted off the side of the stairs to take out an oncoming goat attacker. SPLAT! mDogg drove a wooden stake right through his eye.

"Wooooo hooooo!!! I haven't had this much fun since we bombed that Beverly Hills cosmetic surgery clinic last summer!!"

"Kaydee, this ROCKS!!! We're taking these bastards DOWN!!!!"

"Quick M, one of them is trying to escape via the elevator shaft!!! Oh my gentle horus, I just said 'shaft'. Ha ha ha."

"On it Kaydee, *wink*". And with a back, triple-spiral-twist-full-layout M lept off the cave ledge with the sleekness of a jungle cat. The herder couple just stepped inside the elevator and watched the doors shut as mDogg fired off 5 shuriken their direction. "Damnit, that would have been 75 points at least!"

And with that last breath M shot her climbing hook in to the grates at the top of the shaft and went slinging upward, landing quietly on top of the elevator as it crawled higher. As M watched the two goatherders clutching each other from the roof, she just shook her head and sighed. Loudly. "Why do they always have to soil themselves?" she thought to herself.

And it was that moment that she dumped her emergency bag of flesh eating, fire-breathing, miniature stink monsters in to the elevator. Watching the two herders scream in pain should have been delishious enough, but mDogg is far more refined. She whipped out the miniature bottle of wine attached to her utility belt and poured herself a drink, savoring the lavender, berrylishious flavor as their skin slowly disappeared, exposing bone and fear. "Cheers." And a smile peeked from the corner of her mouth.

Meanwhile Kaydee was enjoying a fun little game of taunting the techie-goats in the downstairs Data Center.

"Baaaaah baaahaah. You better stop this baaaaaaaadness right now before we activate the super sonic goat alarm and alert ALL our crew from around the world."

"Oh no! I'm shaking in my little panties! How about this-- How about I run over there to that elevator shaft and talk this over with mDogg. If she agrees, then the attack is over. I promise. Hold your breath, k?"

"Baaaaaah... that sounds like a fair deal. Okay troops! Deep breath... and... HOLD!"

"Okay, I'll be riiiiiight back," Kaydee smirked as she headed for the elevator shaft.

"Hey M, hee hee, lets watch those asshole techie-goats over there hold their breath until --- *THUD. THU - THUD. THUD. THUD.* Oh well, it was fun while it lasted." The techies had already passed out from oxygen deprivation.

"Huh - looks like our job here is done. Time to move in to the Overpriced Gorgeous Ultra Swanky Martini Lounge. I have a feeling that's where Bocephus is lurking."

Bocephus was the leader of the herd. He was also the biggest, ugliest, most ignorant of all the goats, making him the Indigo Goddess's Arch Enemy.

With a tra-la-la and a skip in their step, the goddess went full speed out of the cavely compound and ran right off the 'Cliffs of Insanity'. Even with the wind went swishing through their hair, Kaydee remarked, "Hey M, this moment would be *very* Thelma & Louise if we didn't have the Ultra-stylish, Pink-buckled, fur-trimmed parachute packs attached to our backs."

"True that, Kaydee." *POP POP*, went their parachutes. "Let's head south. It will be faster to take the Gyrocopter back to the lounge. Plus, as a surprise I just had it painted bronze to match our sunglasses!"