Gah. I had this great post all planned out for tonight... and then it happened.
As the french say, "Vat is zees 'eat' you zpeak ov?"
Not only are Debbie and Paul feeding my addiction to cribbage... but I swear they're conspiring to get me commited to a psychiatric ward, where all I can manage to do everyday is drool on myself and play cribbage in the social lounge (Social Lounge 5, just in case you were wondering). Yup. Oh wait, cool. I guess that previous sentence makes me a conspiracy theorist. As the germen say, "Awesomeschlaagen! Hausen. Schnitzen." I'm a theorist!
Anyway... I played several games this afternoon with each of them, alternating, and won 6 in a row. Then I lost one game. ONE MISERABLE, LOUSY, STUPID, INSIGNIFICANT GAME by the skin of my tinny tin teeth.
Then I took a nap.
Then I played 4 person cribbage with Debbie and her friends.
*sobbing weakly* Which of course brings us to the very lame reason why I didn't write that awesome post I had planned. Instead you'll have to endure what the french call 'Le Lame Summarie' (hope this language switching isn't too confusing, I can't help it I'm multilingual; it's a curse more than a gift really). So here's my summary:
7:30 pm last night: heading over to Tim's house to feed his 3 beautiful cats. tim's in bloody california doing god only knows what. and i'm here... hey wait a second!...
7:31 pm: where in the hell is my wallet? g*d d*mn m*ther f*cking sh*t! i am a responsible woman. so responsible i never, ever lose anything. ANYTHING!
7:40 pm: after tearing house apart 3 times i decide to get the cat feeding thing out of the way and look for wallet later.
7:55 pm: holy bejeesies, i forgot how far st. paul is from my cozy apartment. are we there yet?
8:00 pm: wait a second, how come this key tim gave me doesn't work? ha ha, very funny. ah crap, it still doesn't work.
8:05 pm: no open windows, front door is locked. double sheizer. hey look, the key works now. sweeeeeeet.
8:07 pm: *in cute kitty voice* hiya claudie! who's a hungry, wungry kitten? that's you! that's you!
8:10 pm: (insert high pitched scream) EEEEEEEKKK!! why are there ANTS all over the f*cking floor?!
8:11 pm: (on the phone with tim's answering machine) "so tim, is this like, a um, you know, NEWish problem or have the ants always been there? call me back and you know, just let me know." yuck yuck yuck. hey wait a second, how am i going to buy ant poison when i don't even have my wallet? *happy place, happy place, happy place, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean*
8:15 pm: claudie and I hang out for a while. i make it very clear that streusel is my boyfriend but claude isn't having it. i don't fuss... i allow his purring and rubbing up against me to continue. i even broke out the brush, which made him absolutely crazy!
8:30 pm: on my way back to minneapolis. why can't i see my skyline yet? are we there yet?
9:00 pm: still can't find my bloody wallet. this is starting to get serious. oooh, i haven't watched 'The Thomas Crowne Affair' in a while... think i'll do that.
11:00 pm: hmmmm.... still no wallet. no activity on the cards either, i checked online. it's probably at work so i'll just stop by there tomorrow to pick it up. yeah, that's it.
11:30 pm: oooooh, i think i'll watch 'Love Actually' again. what a great movie... *sigh*
2:00 am: crap. it's getting kinda late... think i'll just go to zzz... zzzzzzzzzz.....
10:00 am: *mental note to self* wouldn't it be great to lounge around the house sunday morning? yes, it would. but i can't. have to find my entire, embarrassingly small, financial life all contained on a few pieces of plastic. perfect.
10:30 am: just off the phone with tim. turns out he's never seen ants in his house. ever. that's great. i'll just get right on top of that and take care of it. nothin' more i'd like to do on a sunday. woot.
11:00 am: i'm driving all 8 blocks to work to pick up my wallet. wait a second!!! how come there's not any parking spots?! WTF mate? who in the HELL comes downtown on a sunday morning and takes up all the g*d d*mned parking spots? oh right, church goers. sorry about that hell thing, you know. but that still doesn't change the fact i've been driving around for 10 minutes looking for a f*cking parking spot. oh wait, there's one. FIVE BLOCKS from my building. great.
11:30 am: yup, my wallet was at work. right where i left it. this has been an exhausting day already. think i'll get an xtra hot soy chai, medium please, from caribou.
11:45 am: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! why aren't there any parking spots? all i want is a freagin' chai. please, for the love of all that's holy. 2 minutes to run in and get a chai people.
11:50 am: still no parking spot. FINE! i'll just DRIVE out to st. louis park to pick up the ant poison WITHOUT my tea. without any breakfast. isn't st. louis park in the OPPOSITE direction from st. paul you so keenly ask? that's right. as it turns out the only ant poison that works, terro, is not sold at any stores except for this one walgreens in st. louis park because the arsenic/sugar water it's made out of was being stolen from all the other stores that carried it. why? the better half of society was making methamphetamines from it. thanks for that guys. really. good to know high school chemistry was so valuable for ya.
12:10 pm: at a caribou in golden valley now, waiting in line. the girl behind the counter says, "here ya go, have a nice day!" i chipperly respond, 'thx, already am!" "np! ;-)," she quips. *shudders*
12:40 pm: arsenic in one hand, tea in the other. i'm all set to go! finally on my way to st. paul
2:00 pm: four hours later i'm finally home... aahhhhh, home.
2:30 pm: hey look, paul & debbie are online and want to play cribbage...
Comments
arsenic in one hand, tea in the other... babydoll, you are the greatest friend ever - we're all lucky to have you.