I'm going big time
I bet you'll never guess what I got to do today...
Our company is hosting a rather large and important User Conference sometime in the very near future. For this conference I was asked a mere week ago to just 'throw together a flash thing' that could be playing before all the keynotes speak.
Riiiiiight. Can you just hold on for one second... I need to, yup there it is. Just let me bend over and pull it out of my ass.
I know a few things about flash. And by 'a few things' I mean enough to edit existing flash and throw together some very, very lame presentations (I can animate text, make cars travel from point A to point B, and make wheels turn round and round, round and round, la la la). That said, this *would* have been a great excuse and the golden opportunity for me to finally gather up flash in my arms and lick it to death. Alternatively, I would learn it like a pro and make it be my bitch. The only glitch being the conference is in mere days.
So I did what any Libran Indigo would do. Yesterday I informed the business I would not be providing that service. And then I batted my eyes. And quickly offered them cookies.
Fast forward to today:
some-guy-that's-gorgeous-and-higher-ranking-than-me: Hey Mahhhhhgret, can you come in to this conference room for a mere minute?
me: There's nothing I'd like more.
sgtgahrtm: Are you being sarcastic? Anyway... what are the odds you could throw together something in powerpoint, and use it like a flash application?
me: You mean slap together some pictures and words, and fake a cool flash presentation with a shitty, clunky Microsoft product? Considerable to none.
sgtgahrtm: Great! Here's what I was thinking... *feverishing draws stick figures on whiteboard*
me: Riiiiiight. OR I could just piggyback off the website and corporate brochure, that way everything is consistent.
sgtgahrtm: GREAT WORK MARGARET! Let's have that done for Monday, k? Thanks much!
me: Shit.
Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow? To be fair, I made it very clear I would literally be THROWING something together. But for me that still means it will look totally professional and presentable, just not to the degree of what I'm capable of had I some time. And I mean whip. I've always wanted a reason to have a whip.
Lo... the life of a graphic designer. Whoever thinks this is a flashy job has obviously never had someone come to them and ask them to use Powerpoint like it's a several hundred dollar professional multimedia tool.
I present to you my carte blanche interpretation (click to embiggen): 
One will notice the delight Keira experiences, as she gets ready to shove the trident up my ass. I don't know, does clown suit me? Or maybe the real question is does fish-on-a-stick suit me?
Comments
Shouldn't it be "WTF, mate?" "Fucking kangaroos."
If SGTGAHRTM is who I think it is, the "fucking kangaroos" statement works.
Yes, it should. But it's Microsoft Paint - give me a break! My paint tool can only do so much.
As for your suspicions on the source of the SGTGAHRTM primer donner, I will neither confirm nor deny a single thing.
Cheers.
Jolly good, I would hate to think that you were being left out of the loop in design projects at work. Isn't it good of the company (who obviously consider your talents worthy of extra attention) to at least provide you with a pretty face to work with? Just goes to show how much he likes you knowing that he is going to get the brunt of any frustratrions from you.
OMG OMG!!! I *LOVE* PowerPoint!
Can you make that picture of us the opening screen? Oh -- and when we 'slide in from left,' can you add in the little Swoosh noise?
thx :)
FlashBite! FlashBite! You're the cutest ever making the PowerPoint Application a Flash Wannabe Biter. PowerPoint really looks up to Flash, but can never be as cool as it's counterpoint older brother. Besides, they were born of different parents... they're not even related by gigbyte blood.