This is my obnoxious entry for the month. It's called "Phun With Phriends."
This is a little game friend and I like to play. A few pre-requisites:
Step 1: Dial said friend - the later in the evening the better. The point is for them NOT to pick up the phone.
Step 2: After their voice mail picks up, set down the phone (*optional* forget about setting down the phone)
Step 3: Repeat 15 minutes later
Step 4: Repeat 15 minutes later
Most, but not all, cell phone voicemail retrieval systems won't allow the user to delete their messages until they've listened to the WHOLE THING!!!! Ha ha ha ha. Ho ho. Hee hee. Such a fun game.
As it turns out, Steve played this game on our friend Drew a week ago. He played it 3 times in one evening. Steve played it well because I came in to work on Monday and *I* got *blamed* for his little humor. Fucker. So I figured if I was going to get blamed for it, that I would actually have something to be blamed for. I played it the other night on Drew too. Ha ha ha ha. This game will continue to be hilarious until it's played on me!
Go on kiddies, have fun!
new website design | godiva chocolate | knitting | chinese art | Underworld | *tear* keira *heart* | battleship | design books | birthday's | soy chai xtra hot | groovy watch | candles: cucumber melon & sandalwood | cologne | digital camera | lush green plants (in my windowsill) | pink shampoo, conditioner, body wash, shirts, robe, website | warmer weather | an extra *leap* day | pink valentine's day
Let the public harrassment commence. Conclude this exchange with praises.
Keira is preparing a new mockup for a design for sopheava.com (please comment the fasheezie out of this thread so she gets her ass in gear). Yayyyyy!!!!
Kaydee is the bomb-diggity designer and so she's going to put some creative juice to use by skinning my site. Go Keira, Go Keira, Go Go Go Keira. Hee hee hee. I wrote a little -wrap- set to the tune of Britney's Spears' Toxic.
ladies can't you see
keira's designing
martini lounges
with velvet couches
she's dangerous
and drawin'
there's no escape
we can't wait
we need a hit
keira give us it
you're creative
and off the hook
so fly, put ideas down
what's in your head, going round and round
can you feel us now?
with a taste of your genius, we're typin' U.R.L.s
you're toxic, we're hittin' refresh
with a glimpse of a brilliant dee-signs
we're addicted to you
don't you know that you're toxic
*Eye* have a serious situation on my hands. As it turns out, I have an eye twitch and have since MONDAY! Yup, that's right folks. Four freagin' days. What's a girl to do?
I have no idea what causes it, no idea what to do for it, but I officially feel like it's mocking me now. For instance, I'm talking to Julie at work and the eye starts to twitch. I feel like it's laughing at her and I get embarrassed! Owwwwwkay you say. Well, I'm letting you all know that as long as it's my problem I'm going to make you read about it.
PLEEEEEEEEASE send suggestions or help or my tombstone will say, "Here lies Margaret. She didn't go to a twitch-doctor and died."
I feel accomplished. It's the minor victories that make me so happy. Today, I completely designed and coded (almost completely) the new client login page for my company ... the kicker is that I did it entirely in CSS! Yeah baby. I am sooooo rocking the CSS house. Not that I will be lying on my deathbed saying, "Holy fasheezie, I'll always remember the time I rocked the CSS house and coded like batman on xtc." But it's my own personal victory since I am completely self-taught. That's right folks - no one gets to take this design accomplishment away from me. It's the stuff I do on my own that makes me smile :-). And seriously, after researching 8 hours straight on Thursday, this little victory feels earned. (FYI for the non-geek-savvy, CSS means that the web page you're looking at has barely any code... therefore loads super fast - it's "clean code". The Mr. Clean of spotless, clean code. The xtra-whitening of whiter teeth code. The Superman to Lois's code. The glow sticks to raves' code. The sopheava to Margaret's code. Want me to keep going? I can keep this up all night...).
After a somewhat abbreviated stint at Martini Blu for a cocktail, I went to the hairdresser for a haircut. Not that anyone will really notice - it's just thinned out and layered to the n'th. Tried out a new place in the IDS (for the out of towners, it's the tallest building in Minneapolis - also known as the "Mary Tyler Moore throws her hat up in the air whilst on the escalator" building). "Katy", my hairdresser, was very cool. She had and told me about her bad dye job and fucked up bangs, but I didn't hold it against her. She did a great job. Rocco Altobelli is the name of the joint.
On the way home I picked up the movies Sylvia and Intolerable Cruelty. No particular reason. I knew Sylvia would be dark but Gwyneth's movies intrigue me. Dark also intrigues me. I thoroughly enjoyed it however, I don't think I'd recommend it to anyone else. Not too many people's cup of tea, so to speak. I picked up Intolerable Cruelty because Joelle made some vague reference to it being a chick flick in a past post. Hell, if it's good enough for her it's good enough for me. I will review that one tomorrow night.
And now the big news - its been *almost* 24 hours and no eye twitch. Woo hoo! If I could, I would be doing back flips. Instead, I'll just have another sip of my martini. Hee hee.
Happy Friday ya'll.
Just for the record everyone, I've decided my galleria is an unfair representation of who and what I'm really about, and I want to set the record straight. So don't ya'll think that I'm going out every night with a bunch of hooligans spicin' up the city. I'm a very boring person. Really.
Let's start out with the facts, shall we?
Three things for a Saturday morning:
Ever have one of those days that is fantastic? You're on top of the world and people even say stuff to you like, "Wow, you look and sound SO happy!"
I have this curse. It's like the universe waits until I'm there and then dumps something else for me to deal with right on top of it. Here ya go Margaret, cuz we sure wouldn't want you being happy, now would we?
I'm going to Nag Champa, Sage, and meditate now. This game is for the fucking birds.
Poor Raphael, he thinks that I think God is out to get me, because of my last entry. Confused yet?
Everything's just peachy in my world per normal. With the coming of spring comes a shedding of the old, rebirth, and moving on. Goddess bless clarity and spring.
I woke up this morning to a slightly dreary, but overall 'OK' morning. As it turns out, I walked to work feeling groovy - and then WHACK!, all within a matter of 20 minutes... SNOW!
Yup, I'm looking out my window right now and it's a COMPLETE white out! Holy shizzle. The best part is that it wasn't even forecasted. Ha ha ha.
I love mother nature surprises! Makes me all giddy, :).
G*# D@mn Moth*r F@$#ing AAAH! Thanks for letting me vent - feel just a little better for it.
Muddling day to day here, so I've devised a plan to get me through. On today's agenda:
(today I needed to just let everyone know that)
*Oops - didn't actually get around to this item. Too busy doing #11 and #17, and, er, talking to Keira too*
*Eh, see #10*
It's 7:18 AM - I'm outtie to begin on #1...
He wanted a website that looked "writer-ie" and "clean" - so that's what he got! Go show him some love, won't you?


both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone
and god help you if you are an ugly girl
of course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a pheonix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back
I'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say
squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said
~Ani Difranco
This is beautiful (off of electricbugaloo.com):
"People are pissing me off today. Sometimes I wish I were dumber and lazier. Then nobody could make fun of me because I'd be just like everyone else."
Today was a day of clarity. All hail clarity. I ditched work because I wasn't feeling quite right. I highly recommend that YOU do the same when everything is f*cked up and off. All it takes is one whole day all to yourself and things will seem just a little brighter. It was EXACTLY what I needed! Tomorrow I should be a tolerable person again at work, which I'm sure everyone will sing mad praises about. Whoever said that people should be strong and not affected by some serious shit and drama going down in their lives (or more to the point, have it within a block radius day after day) is either psycho or dead. I am human, I have emotions (sometimes wish I could be a robot like Tim, *beep beep*), and huge apologies to D if he thinks it's off. No harm done. No ill feelings. Lessons learned and all that. Just time to move on.
That's all. I'm done and over with that whole chapter. Please don't ask.
So, moving on... I'm rockin' the house right now listening to some seriously gorgeous music by Madonna. Don't be haters. Ray of Light will NEVER get old! It has been on my playlist since 1998. Anyone who can manage to pull off a 6 year stint on my playlist deserves some serious props. YOU GO GIRL! For the record, American Life and Remixed & Revisited are *way* too underappreciated. In my humble opinion, I think they're brilliant. That's the way it is kids - Madonna is the bomb diggity. Deal with it.
I'm off to do a bit of sketching now. Giving my instructor the benefit of the doubt here and playing by his rules. I mean let's face it, he is a *very talented man who's been around the industry block. However, (good god people I'm a Libra! how could there NOT be a 'however'?) I'm having some issues with his methods. Sketching. Yay. Go sketching. He's requiring several sketches for this next project though (will post it when I'm through for anyone who's interested) and I'm having some issues with that. The project is a blues music CD. We have to create a poster, a flyer, and a CD case for a blues music CD. I have these perfectly formulated plans in my head and don't quite get the whole "you have to sketch them first" thing. It's the degree to which I love these ideas and can't wait to work on them that causes me the issues. For a project in which I were picking at ideas, in which I found holes and opportunities abounding, sketching would be the bomb. Not this one. I know *exactly* what I want to do. Hmmmmm... (don't you love it when I think out loud?) I will try his method. He may have a point - and if he does I will promptly be back to append this post.
(And upon re-reading this last paragraph I will give a cookie to anyone who actually made it through the entire thing and/or understood it). I'm rambling. Yes.
Procrastination - OFF. It's time to sketch a purple man with a saxaphone and yellow notes coming out of his nose.
Ya'll might remember this fun game from a week or two ago.
Well, Keira has come up with her own fun game for March!!! Everyone play along....
Have I ever mentioned why Keira and I are such best friends????
For my peace of mind...
Times New Roman be gone! Seriously, as a designer Times New Roman is disgusting, gross, morally reprehensible (yes folks, a font can be morally reprehensible), a complete pain in my side - well, a pain in my mouse- , and an asshole (again, don't question it, a font can be an asshole). I wish it would die. A slow and painful death. Fed to sharks. Sharks with freagin' laserbeams attached to their heads. Laserbeams that'll shoot its nasty little serifs right off! Oh right, but then it would be Arial, wouldn't it?
Thank you, that's all folks. I'll be here all week.
I'm currently listening to "Let Me Fix My Weave" by Missy E. Ha ha. "Baby baby, let me fix my weave! You can, woo woo, pick me up about quarter to 3!"
Today was interestingschlaagen (that's German, just in case you were wondering. That's probaby why you didn't understand. Many of you don't know I'm fluent in German, but I am).
I think I'm a masochist. Today was swell, in an oddly dysfunctional sort of way. I got a lot done, had a great time, but all in a complety unhealthy, utterly and totally self-depricating, torturous sort of way. *sigh* I mean, I might as well walk around with toothpicks holding my eyelids open and the words "Dial 777-Mags if you have a disease and want to have a good time" tattooed to my ass. Er, my forehead. Whatever.
This martini begs to differ.
Ok, well to be honest it's not so much a martini as it is a "Vodka and Whatever-else-I-Could-Find-To-Put-In-It" drink.
ANYWAY... as I was saying. Rather typing. Masochist. Tattoo. Martini. Right... part of today's little extravaganzer included a trip or two to the art store!!!! *claps hands excitedly!* (dismiss kids from room right now - drunken potty sailor mouth making a brief appearnce) I fucking LOVE trips to the fucking art store. Damn! It makes me happier than a spirited bunny in spring.
Colors. Paper. Supplies. Tools. Materials. Hot damn. Give me a moment to fix my weave.
So what did I buy? Paper. Aluminum ruler. Photographer's tape. Black foamboard. Black construction paper. To the virgin viewer: lame. To Margaret?: Oh-oh-oh-orgasmic. Saturday, March 13th was totally worth living JUST to get art supplies. Go me!
Butterfly.
That's all. Time for me to retire this obnoxiousness. Happy Saturday ya'll.
This weekend was all about the blues (the sheer irony *should* go without saying). The Blues Music trifecta, that is (CD, Ad, Poster). Take a peek at my project due this week. Anyone who knows me know that as I prepare to print these suckers up something's gonna change. A pre-emptive warning that the impending joke will never get old... I'm going to mount my work tomorrow (A cookie for anyone who put yesterday's entry and today's entry together... is it all coming together now?). Soul City baby. Woot.


It's Sunday evening - my cure for the dolldrums? DEE-sign!
Check out the new design in the skins section. I fancy to call it *Naked Truth*. The originality of that name should blow you away.
Here's a peek!

What does everyone think? Keira says (ah hem),
Secondly, I have a bone to pick with everyone (thanks to Keira for instigating this raucous). She says, and I quote:
What's the deal-io people? Were you allergic to the pink thing (I know, it was a bit much)? Well, if that's the case you have a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW SKIN to fix that right up.
Glad we settled that. And in other news... tomorrow is *sigh* Monday. (sing along) It's just another mannnnnn-ic Mon-Day. Woooo oooh ohhhhhh.
*PS* Did I mention I put up a new skin? Hee hee hee - I'm in love with it!
*PPS* Keira wanted me to post the original conversation, as mentioned above. She thought the IMvironment needed to be there to add for full effect. Well, go see for yourself
PS to the previous entry...
If you're having trouble with the skins working it's probably the $@#% javascript I used. Just hit the "REFRESH" button on your browser and all will be well again. Aaahhhhhh...
I've just been reminded that today, is indeed, the Ides of March.
Payday. Woot.
The signs are everywhere - crows, disappearing over-eatingism, abounding creativity and projects, organicia, and now a dream of my skin peeling right off in huge, massive sheets (we're talking MASSIVE sheets here folks - my back, my arms, my chest, my belly). I'm embracing this whole "springtime" thing cuz I think it means I'm finally shedding all the old shit. Go me.
Did I mention it's the Ides of March? I am declaring today, "Ides of March 2004: Beginning Volume III" (roman numerals in honor of our Roman forefathers 'n all).
Well bust my buttons. There's 2 hot guys in this freagin' town. I am infamously picky about men. I mean, we are talking 'I-can-tell-by-the-way-he-walks-he's-not-for-me' picky. I am told it's pretty bad (right, so this is the part where I am NOT going to complain about being single then).
So I've been single for what - coming up on a year pretty soon and this is the grand total of guys I have seen that are attractive: 1. Even movie star crushes - most people have them, but apparently I'm not like most people. It's not a stretch for me to say that the guy who played Marcello in Under the Tuscan Sun was pretty hot (Keira, his name is Raoul Bova, just so you can google him 'n all that). Yes he's hot, but he just didn't do it for me in that from-here-to-eternity way.
Today the gods and goddesses smiled down on me.
Yes, the grand total of hot men in this city is now: 2. I think I should tag (both of) them with invisible ink just so I don't forget that they actually exist. I'm also going to describe Markus (I'm calling him that, cuz he looks like a greek warrior - plus I just think it's a sexy name! "Markus" with a 'k'. Hee hee) so there's written proof of my attracted-ness. Let's not forget that this will also document my complete psycho-ness.
Let me begin. Ah hem...
Over 6'2" and under 6'5" (which everyone knows mathematically equals = In Margaret's scope of vision). Well dressed in a dark green, button up shirt (Hubert White in my humble opinion). No wrinkles of course. There were not any wrinkles on his black pants either (I should know, I spent a fair time looking at his backside - ha ha). Beautiful black shoes, perfectly shined and clean. He had messily groomed hair (hair that says, "I showered, put on Margaret's favorite cologne, and then took the time to artfully craft my hair to look messy but it is actually not"). He also looked like he might as well be from Crete (which is of course why he's here in Minneapolis. After I visited Crete a few years ago, he has been hunting me down, searching for the woman of his dreams ever since - who would have thought I saw him in line at the Subway on 2nd?). He also smelled delishious. Well, not so much smelled as looked - I didn't get close enough to actually smell him. Excuse me for a second, I'm drooling on my desk.
And to foster proof of his yummy-mc-yums-a-lot existance I forced Steve to look at him. "Steve, come here quick - THAT guy. YUM!!!" In typical man form, Steve said, "Him? Huh." Ummmmm, YEAH HIM! Hallelujah.
(This would be a much better story if I had actually *MET* him. Oops. What can I say, I was too busy looking instead of thinking. Damnit.)
No whammies no whammies. Mama needs a new pair of shoes!
landlord (lndlôrd)
What a funny funny word. I throw out the term easily, but look at it for a minute. Land. Lord. "Hello, this is my Land. I'm the Lord of it. I am the Lord of this Land. Ho, ye beware. Who doth traverse my Land? I am Lord here." (all in my most baritone voice of course). And what business does a Lord (or in my case a female Lord) have in the urban metropolis that is Minneapolis? Off with you!
What the hell is a 'Lord' anyway?
(this is one of those times where you say a word over and over and over and over again and eventually it begins to lose its meaning, so all you see is a skeleton of characters that might as well represent something to the lost people of Enki = A.K.A. a slow day at work)
Wish I could claim this as my own, but "What's Your Favorite Anagram for 'SAINT PATRICK'S DAY'?"
Let me start out today's rant, er, entry by getting something off my chest (pant pant pant). I'm talking about how everyone is wishing everyone a St. Patrick's Day around here. Customers on the phone, HR reps to candidates, salesmen to executives. It's a lot of love going around the office. Hell, I even posted a picture of a fucking Guinness to be in the mood too. Here's my beef (excuse me while I pull up a couch). Look at the ridiculousness I am subject to.... ah hem:
But am I really out of line asking, ARE ANY OF THESE FUCKING PEOPLE FROM IRELAND? It's just like when Americans travel abroad and people say, "What is your, how you say, hairy-taaage?" And those proud Americans will say, "I'm part German, French, and Greek."
Excuse me? NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE FUCKING AMERICAN! Be proud, stand firm with me people. I feel the glue that's holding us together is softening. Yes, let's celebrate St. Patrick's Day. But for the love of all that is holy, let us celebrate it as Americans!
Whew, I feel better. Anyone offended yet? If so, I'll buy ya a pint to smooth it over.
And in other news, Keira has a blog! All hail the day that Keira got a blog. Woot! I'm not allowed to give out the address yet (she has to protect, um... her daughter, yeah that's it) but I *PROMISE* (doing the cute thing I do now where I batte my eyes -it's a french word, I should know cuz I'm 1/64th's part French-) to pass it along as soon as she gives me permission. Until then, I'm afraid I'll only be allowed to A) talk about her in the third person a lot a lot a lot and B) post snippits as I see fit. And of course I'm expecting everyone to be offended at some point (counting on it rather). Today's excerpt (I feel like Sopheava-Reading-Rainbow!): It's a Big, Tough World.
Let the passing of judgment commence. Hey look, the sun is coming out!
This is too funny. Keira received a 'contact me' form submission yesterday from one of the websites she maintains. The website is for a car dealership.
So she opens up the email and the ENTIRE thing is in Spanish. I mean, just the fact that this person has navigated an ENTIRE website in English and assumes that the person on the receiving end of the contact form can speak Spanish baffles my mind. It also makes me giggle. I mostly imagine Keira sitting at her computer desk, in her pajamas and leopard print slippers, banging her head against the desk and twitching. A lot of twitching. "Calm blue ocean. Calm blue ocean. Calm blue ocean."
I am one sneaky, curious mo-fo, so I IMMEDIATELY use google's translator to pop this rough version out. Admittedly, it's not perfect but it's classy enough to make it on my website:
IN NOVEMBER Of the 1996 WE ARRIVED MY BROTHER and I OF VENEZUELA, ARRIVES At THIS PAIS LIKE RESIDENT, but BEFORE COMING I HAD a ACIDENTE,ME CAI OF STAIRS and ROMPI the TIBIA I HAD an INFECTION IN the BONE, WHEN ARRIVES HERE I WAS SAW WITH a MEDICO ORTOPÉDICO, DONATES EXPLAINS to ME THAT TAPEWORM an INFECTION IN the BONE, THAT TAPEWORM THAT TO OPERATE and TO ELIMINATE THEMSELVES LIKE 2 0 3 INCH OF BONE, ME ESPLICO THAT THAT PORNER to ME an APPARATUS TO COVER WITH MATS a NEW BONE, the DOCTOR ME ENCONTRO a PROGRAM THAT PODIA TO HELP ME and MY MEDICO I SIGN PAPERS THAT NOTHING BY the OPERATIONS RECEIVED the 18 OF MARCH OF 1997 WAS MY FIRST OPERATION ALTOGETHER WERE 14 OPERATIONS TWO ANUSES IMEDIO IN RECOVERY, AFTER THAT EMPESE TO WORK IN YAYAS BAKERY BY 3 ANUSES SEVERAL MONTHS ago WORK and I AM NOT DESPERATE, FOR an ANUS IMEDIO ME CASE MY WIFE Llama BEATRIZ, she THIS PREGNANT WOMAN HAS BEEN HAVING 3 MONTHS OF PREGNANCY ALREADY, WE LIVED IN BREAST CASA IS CASA DUPLEX ARQUILADA MY BREAST DUER to ME IN FOURTH and the OTHER MY BROTHER and WIFE And I SLEPT IN The ROOM, IN The ROOM P.m. TO BE ABLE IS A TELEVISION SET YOU ACCUSTOM WE MUST HOPE UNTIL The 8 TO BE IN BED MY ESPSA And I WE FELT BAD I PIENOS MAS IN MY WIFE SINCE SHE THIS PREGNANT WOMAN And I WANT THAT SHE THIS CALM MY WIFE DOES NOT DESCRIBE FOR MEDIQUEID SO THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE MAS HERE ANUSES, SINGLE SHE I DESCRIBE IN A CLINICA OF HOFNER THAT HELPED HIM SINGLE IN The PREGNANCY, MY WIFE NESECITA LENSES BUT NOT THAT TO DO SHE UNDERGOES OF MEOPIA And NESECITA LENSES To HER HURTS The HEAD To HIM And SHE THINKS THAT SHE IS BY The LENSES, MY EXPERIENCE IS TO WORK IN KITCHEN BUT I DO NOT HAVE CERTIFICATION OF HERE, I want TO WORK IN WHICH IT CAN, TAMBIE AS HIM ESPLIQUE I LIKE TO PAINT PICTURES To I SWELL BUT I DO NOT HAVE the MATERIALS and NESECITO the LINEN CLOTHS and BRUSHES and TO HAVE LUCK FOR PORDER TO SELL THEM,Y the OTHER GREAT PROBLEM THAT I HAVE I THINK IS THAT NESECITO a CAR TO TAKE To MY WIFE to APPOINTMENTS MEDICAS TO LOOK FOR WORK TO HAVE a CAR IS NOT a LUXURY IS a NESECIDAD, if ALMENOS TUVIERASMOS SOMETHING OF MONEY BUSCARIA a APARTAMENTICO OF
(2) a ROOM TO PAY ABOUT TWO ADVANCED MONTHS SINGLE WE WANT TO GO OUT ALREADY WE ARE DESPERADO OJALA HERE a RADIUS LISTENING CAN LISTEN TO THIS SUPLICA and THIS AID THAT NESECITAMOS THAT OCCUPIED PERSON OJALA WHO USTES CAN COME and STATE AS WE LIVED, THAT THERE ARE KIND HEARTS THAT THEY CAN HELP, I THANK FOR YOU to him TO READ THIS LETTER
(3) and TO LISTEN TO and GOD to US IT WANTS THAT IT CAN FIND A a JOB and IF SOMEBODY CAN DONATE a CAR to US Or WHAT THE ONE CAN THAT DESE TO COME To BREAST CASA THAT ASI SABRA MAS COMES FROM THIS LONG HISTORY, THAT I ALSO WRITE BAD
(4) HIM DESIRE ALL the BEST one IN RADIO ASI AS IN
(5) OTHER OCCUPATIONS ASI AS HIM DESIRE ALL the BEST one THAN GOD BLESSES YOU and ALL the EQUIPMENT OF the RADIO and To ALL the RADIUS LISTENING,SI I CAN BE SENT to HIM PHOTO OF the LEG the ENVIO, HAS To MY OPERATED IN TRIMMING REGIONAL the MEDICAL CENTER to ME, THANKS ONCE AGAIN FOR ESCUHAR ME THE ONE THAT WISHES TO CALL Or TO COME the DOOR FROM OPENED HEARTS ESTARAN, MY WIFE and I HAVE TWO WEEKS THAT WE GO To the CHURCH, ASI TO HAVE MAS FRIENDSHIPS ALMOST WE DO NOT HAVE,ES THAT WE DID NOT LEAVE MUCH BUT IN TRUTH WE WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS, BUT AS HIM ESPLIQUE AS SHE IS NOT OUR CASA, WE FELT BAD, ALREADY YOU YOU UNDERSTAND to US,
(6) THAT GOD BLESSES IT, To YOU and ALL the FAMILA, and OJALA SOMEBODY CAN HELP US, THANKS, MY NAME IS IGOR
(7) THANKS. IGOR & BEATRIZ
IF SOMEBODY CAN DONATE A CAR TO ME, PLEASE nececito WORK ayúdenme.
~from "Awakening Osiris"
Let's all break for a moment to recognize her sheer brilliance thus far - A) not having to go to bars, B) not picking up little boys, C) not having to deal with irritating co-workers, D) no hangovers, regrets, or holy crap where is my bra, and E) where the F-enheimer are her rent bills, car payments, school loans, grocery bills, heat & electric bills, gas bills, water bills, car insurance, medical insurance, and budget to buy toilet paper? Sleeping Beauty is a fucking genius and should win the Nobel Prize for Brilliance Award.
(*Mental note to self: I love sleep too. I'm going to try this approach*)
Em posted this on her blog, thought I might as well post it myself too. Q/A time:
Alice (from Wonderland). She should aptly be renamed Mags-in-Minneapolis. Everyday my world is a labyrinth of hoocha smoking misfits and fields of mushrooms (er, substitute coworkers for misfits, and assessments for mushrooms and then we're getting somewhere).
Well, I would definitely NOT date Aladdin. Cute, but young and whiney. Also not the sharpest tack in the world. The kid could sing though - gotta give him props for the voice. Same could be said for the prince in The Little Mermaid. I mean come on, SNAP OUT OF IT. What does she have to do, sign it out for you?! With a little help from Raph (who apparently knows MUCH more about Disney characters than I do) my new choice is Jon Smith. Go Jon.
Cinderella's father. He doted on his daughter, took extreme care of her well-being and happiness, and lavished presents on her. He didn't have such good judgment in women, however, and that's where the story goes astray. My mom is the bomb diggity.
Fantasia. An etheric mix of smokey colors and callibrating patterns. Completely non-sensical but beautifully musical and artistic. An array of sensory triggers.
Children's Story children's story children's story.... argh! I'm racking my brain to remember which one was my favorite. Actually, the Wizard of Oz and Annie were my favorites growing up so I'd have to pick one of those.
Dorothy: Kirsten Dunst
Scarecrow: Jim Carrey
Tin Man: Johnny Depp
Lion: Viggo Mortenson
Wizard: Anthony Hopkins
Toto: Jack Russell
Witch: Monica Belluci
Yes, I'll play today.
If you...
The good kind. Honestly it would either be a sushi joint or a fondu place (Origami vs. The Melting Pot). The joint would have the ambiance of something more along the lines of Chino Latino though - candles on the walls, dim red or blue lighting, plasma TVs reeling retro movie-fused art to the pulse of a funky beat. Soooo pretty.
Books, jewelery, pottery, expensive art, latte's, design services, and anything else that costs a lot of money. It would be a high-end store of course.
Kiss My Tiara - A smart mouthed guide to being a goddess. Alternatively, I would write a book about art and design.... using my own experiences to help readers find something they love and pursue it.
How to think outside the box and use those tools to make yourself a better person. I would use arts, crafts, physical activities, writing, music etc. ANYTHING interactive. It's all about finding what works for you and leveraging off of it.
Something that makes my booty shake and groove. At the end of the day, it's about the bass-line.
Anyone else live in downtown Minneapolis on today, the 20th of March 2004? If you heard sirens (lots of them) they were for my building. For the fire alarm that went off again. At 4:10 in the morning.
It is awfullly hard to be upset at a system who's sole purpose is to save your LIFE.
(Introspective thoughts for 4:27am on a Saturday morning). Yaaaaaaawwwwn.
Does everyone know that today is the Spring Equinox? All hail an equinox! I plan to celebrate this monumentous event by A) shopping, B) toasting a martini later tonight to all equinoxes in the hizouse, and C) wearing a short sleeve shirt under my jacket today - very daring! Alternatively I'll wear a LONG sleeve shirt and my jean jacket. How is a girl supposed to decide these things?!

Today is one of those days where you wake up, cheerfully open the curtains as if you were Mary Fucking Poppins incarnate, quip 'Morning My Dazzling Beauties' at the green plants sitting on your windowseat, giggle at all the birdies playing in the puddle just outside of your window, and then smile. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and all the little animals are starting to awaken from their winter slumber.
Then you walk outside and immediately double over mumbling something along the lines of, "Jesus, Mary, Josefus, it's @#$ *#&(*$ *#(*$(*$ cold out here!" That is of course if you can even HEAR me mumble obscenities, what with the wind nearly picking you up and carrying you all the way to Hayward. Yes folks, I was duped. DUPED I TELL YOU! I feel tricked and used. The weather is an asshole today (yup, weather is an asshole) and I'm officially breaking up with it. There will be no duping in this relationship. Either you're warm and beautiful or you're cold and grey. None of this in-between non-decisiveness. We're through. I'm dumping the weather.
However, on today's accomplished list:
*So on an unrelated note, I went to Marshall Field's shopping both yesterday and today in search of an outfit for the wedding. Should be easy, right? Marshall Field's ain't no fucking Target and we're talking several floors of goodness. Wrong again, my belligerent compadres - or at least you should be after what I endured. It just so happens prom season is approaching and every teenage daughter went shopping with her mother this weekend. It ALSO appears that the buyers who stock the Field's floors have taken this 'trend' thing a LITTLE too seriously. Imagine someone drinking pink paint, gallons and gallons of pink paint, and then throwing it up allllllll over the department store floor. NOW we're getting somewhere. I ask you, is that *really* necessary? Of course, I caved and bought what else? A pink shirt. That officially makes me a 'target' (as in market) and a slave to the corporate conspiracy. What the hell else was I going to do?
Thank you for making the ONE shirt in the entire Minneapolis/St.Paul metro area that I actually like. Let's not talk about the price thing - was that really necessary? Looking forward to our next rendezvous. Much love, ~Margaret.
Time for a Sunday evening shower. Mwah!
Item #7289.a.#7289.b.#7289.c.#7289.d.#7289.e.#7289.f on the list of things that irritate me:
People who chew with their mouths open.
Or crunch anything crunchity with their mouths open.
Even if it's just one crunch while biting in to the crunchity item, please close your lips.
If you smack your gum, you're on my list.
All the loud slurpers out there, that means you too.
And if you're one of those people who makes sucking sounds whilst working on a piece of candy, or anything else that you might happen be sucking in my vacinity, don't even bother looking at me. I might go postal.
Manners people.
And Item #7290:
People who hold utensils like a microphone. You're just embarrassing yourselves, so please. Don't. Or I will sic a very angry Keira on you.
Thought so.
I haphazardly came across this link today, and since there's a lot of freagin' words on this site I figure it might be of vague interest to at least 1 or 2 of you: 100 Most Often Mispronounced Words and Phrases in English
Today, Margaret is not afraid to admit that she learned...:
Today, Margaret is ashamed that some people still pronounce...:
Alittle annoying, like your loosing ground trying to pronunciate. Accept wannabe words like when you should of written 'alot'. Reed between the too lines. I know, I'm irritated to. Its really tuff. Harder then nucular science even.
Please don't make fun of me for this. AKA Sporty Spice to all those up 'n on their Spice Girls.
Yes, Margaret needed some new music.
Yes, there's a million CDs waiting to come home with me.
Yes, walking down to Loring Park at midnight is a viable option if I want a fix too. All I'm sayin' is, don't knock it until you've heard it. La la la.
Second thing we need to discuss today is TAXES. Barf, gag, wheeze, snorttle, chork, etc. etc. Look at me, all up and on my taxes in January. Mid-January even. Fo shizzle yo. THEN I got to the final page, er, screen... we'll come back to the implications of my personal hell that is the last screen in a bit. First, I believe it's necessary to insert this explanation of the dog & pony show that is taxes for all the non-Americans, or in any case Americans who are left standing around scratching their heads, as I am. A little summary from my favorite blog writer, Kathryn at Bellow.
Start with a number. Any number, really. If you're poor, like me, it should be a pretty small number. No more than five digits; REMEMBER, this number represents your income.
Put that number on a sheet of paper, and draw a little box around it. In the corner of the little box, make a teeny-tiny Number One.
Now, take a ruler, and divide the rest of the paper into seventeen-thousand-twenty-five other boxes.
Next to each box, write something utterly nonsensical, but official-seeming. Like, "Part-year city of New York resident tax on capital gain portion of lump-sum distributions created by the sale of dairy products between the hours of five and seven p.m. on days of the month divisible by five."
Now, this next part is very important.
Next to each utterly nonsensical, but official-seeming thing you have written, you must also add AT LEAST ONE, and possibly all, of the following.
a) The phrase "(See instructions)". However, do not under any circumstances write any sort of page number following this phrase. Do not even indicate which set of instructions you might be referring to. Let the average US Citizen think that you mean some unknown page of the US Individual Income Tax Instruction Book. They will, of course, be wrong, but it is crucial that you keep them in the dark. In reality, you can be referring to any instruction manual--the instruction manual for your microwave oven, the directions for the toy you just bought your infant son, that little pamphlet that comes with tampons. Whatever. It doesn't matter; the goal is confusion. Look toward the goal.
b) Something like this: "If the amount on this line is less than the amount on line 456.6b, divide both numbers by the square root of your age as of July 19, 1984, and enter that amount here. If the amount on this line is greater than the amount on line 3446.75d, take this form and hold it up in front of a mirror. Write down the backwards versions of all of the numbers you can see in the mirror on a small sheet of yellow paper. Wait until the next lunar eclipse. Then eat the yellow paper, counting the number of times you have to chew the paper in order to swallow it. Enter that number here."
c) Something like: "(Refer to Form HDTV-STD-53, tables I, III, or XIIIIIIIV. Also refer to a copy of your older sibling's Form EZ-1040. Notice how much more money he/she makes than you. Feel badly. Finally, refer to page 163 of any novel on the lowest shelf of your bookcase.)"
I hope all of you non-US Citizens can now be a bit more understanding about America's plan to take over the world. We're just grumpy and confused about our taxes.
I feel it is important to add here that the amount of money I made this year is so small that it's actually ha-ha funny.
Still with me folks? Now imagine me sitting at my laptop, all happy and giddy because it's January and I can't believe I'm so fucking pro-active. Let's also throw some pink sunglasses on me for effect. Additionally I'm sitting in my bed, at my computer, wearing yellow pajamas and a little white tee. Throw my hair up in to a cute little pony tail on top of my head too. I SOOOO TOTALLY ROCK! On point, yo.
Fast forward to the 'final screen' moment once again. Utter, total, and complete amazement as I throw myself in to all the fluffy pillows in my bed and start whimpering. I. OWE. MONEY. OWE. MONEY. I. DO. Read it again people. Did you catch the whole, "I feel it is important to add here that the amount of money I made this year is so small that it's actually ha-ha funny" bit? Yup. I officially loathe the government.
I'd like to take this opportunity to tell the government I work hard, pay a LOT of fucking money out of my paycheck every month, am a law abiding citizen making fucking PEANUTS at my job, wait, even peanuts would scoff at how much money I make, and I STILL owe them money. Holy. Shit. I also despise people who make a lot more kizash than I do, the same people that think they make nothing and bitch about it, and then get a refund at the end of the year. Don't test me people, the government is on my very last nerve and SO is anyone who makes a 'normal' amount of money and says it's not a big deal. Anyone who HAS money says shit like that. Money IS a big deal.
I closed the laptop (gently of course, wouldn't want to hurt 'precious') without filing just to prove a point. TAKE THAT!
Fast forward to March 23rd. Keira has confirmed that I indeed owe money. Thank goddess it's her because anyone else would have received a verbal lashing after delivering news that has the ability to bend me over and take it just as this news did.
Today, my readers, is the day I paid the government. I filed. A pox on all government employees. Now I need a shower. I feel so bloody used and dirty. * Happy Place * Happy Place *
Remember the Strawberry Psycho-Cake blog one entry ago? Take this! (click here to view) Wonder if I'll have time to work this skin out this weekend?? *...scratches chin knowingly...*
This is an email I received today. Ah hem....
Especially breast cancer. Don't freeze your plastic water bottles with water as this also releases dioxin in the plastic. Dr. Edward Fujimoto (manager of the Wellness Program at the hospital) from Castle hospital was on a TV program explaining this health hazard.
He was talking about dioxin and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.
Dioxin are carcinogens and highly toxic to the cells of our bodies.
Instead, he recommends using glass, Corning Ware, or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results ...without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups ,etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else.
Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. Just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.
He said we might remember when some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
To add to this: Saran wrap placed over foods as they are nuked, with the high heat, actually drips poisonous toxins into the food, use paper towels.
Wow. Who knew that we are consuming toxins EVERY SINGLE DAY and didn't even know it? Hey, guess what * Mags' brain fervently at work here *! I'm officially forming a group to lead a crusade.
First, we'll give ourselves a cool name... something like Camp Fully Lost, Uber-Fear™ (C-FLUF™, for short). Since I will be leading the C-FLUF™ crusade, I'd like to formally title each and every one of my members. It will be VERY official sounding and I will even have a little ceremony to wave burning shrubbery around your aura to cleanse your soul (can't be part of the group unless you've been cleansed, deal with it).
Steve, you get to be "Dr. Steven Prakope, MD (mentally disturbed), PI (politically incorrect), ADD (goes without saying) - our group's resident expert at saying all the right things."
Joe, you get to be "Lt. Colonel Master & Commander Greyloon, Watcher of the 7th Orb and Everything Else In the Universe (no one can pronounce Grzesiak, so I'm pulling rank and changing it). Think of yourself as... god."
Keira, you're our "Goddess of Honesty, Oppression, Perfection, and Fair Trials." When we oppress, we will immediately pay alms to your likeness, tucked firmly away in our back pocket at all times. Just... stand there, look pretty, and tell people not to be so fucking stupid every once in a while. You're a goddess, so we will write songs and books about your words and paint pictures of you with a big rack.
Em gets to be the "High Battalion Leader of C-FLUF™ regiment #272, responsible for blinding our opponents with dazzling dancing moves, shiny objects, and the occassional windmill."
Tim, you are "Colonel Snake of the Booty Command Center, in charge of all earthly booty safeness and well-being from unwanted intruders. On booty-call duty 24-7. Protect my booty."
Gather 'round folks, let's head to the bunker and formulate a plan. And a secret squirrel map. I always wanted to make a secret squirrel map.
Now people, the object here is to think of things MORE likely to kill you then plastic bottles in your freezer. Ready? Set.... GO!
Did I miss any?
Anyone challenging C-FLUF™ WILL endure the wrath.
Emmie bought Kanye West's new CD 'The College Dropout' this morning.
Normally not my bag, but I actually like it. The whole, trying to catch the beat thang gets me going.
I ripped the CD on to my computer and CDDB's database tells me that his CD is not titled 'The College Dropout', but instead: The Collage Dropout.
Maybe the idiots entering the disk data are elementary school dropouts.
The irony is thick today people. Fetch your spoons cuz I'm dishin' it out.
Thank you Shea for not having a spot for this beautiful image in your house. Which of course means it has a perfect spot in my house. Always one of my favorites and now I *finally* own it. *does happy dance*
It's also a perfect cap to my week. A week chock full of rabbitholes and Malkovich tunnels, the image grounds me. Whether I like it or not. groundation is happening.
Today is move-day at work. Our company is moving down a few floors and the entire workday has pretty much crawled to a complete halt. As of 1 hour ago (1400 hours to be precise).
That means the hooligans in my department have little else to do but take out sharpies and start reeking havoc on unsuspecting enemies. And movers. The poor movers. Every single one of us is an attention defeciet bomb waiting to go off. Poor Dave though, he was the victim of the "Pen 15" club. Anyone else part of this club? A big fattie black sharpie, alllllll over his hand.
So the network admin has decided to give the move a whole 'Elvis' theme. When asked if I would like to be part of the fun and trickery, eh, excitement, I told him that if my part of the move entailed standing around looking pretty and barking orders I would consider. "Team Priscilla, that's you," he quickly responded. Shit. My plan backfired. Now I have to help on Sunday.
In other news, Keira and I are writing a story. More to come on that later....
Spring cleaning everyone. Came across this gorgeous photo sitting in the vaults for some time. New season, new skin blah blah di blah.
Check out the new look and feel under the skins section! I have a feeling ya'll are gonna like this one.
Keira and I are now messing with the land of fiction. Read on, oh courageous ones. What you see below is part one in an on-going saga of the 'I write a paragraph, she writes a paragraph, I write a paragraph' and so on and so forth variety. A cookie for anyone who can figure out who wrote which paragraphs. This was all done with our doctors' permission of course.
And now, installment one (of many, many more to come)....
Once upon a time, a lovely Indigo with curly brown hair and a penchant for tea, not giving a shit about goatherders, and Hello Kitty IMvironments went on a picnic. She brought all her favorite items - eggplant, seared tuna, herbal prozac, wine, and her pet rabbit - named Jack. All was well until.....
...she heard a strange chime from inside her picnic basket. "What ever the fuck could that be?" she wondered as she searched for the culprit of the dreaded noise. She looked inside her basket, taking in the wonderful aroma of her seared tuna and eggplant, and then she saw it. The enemy. The source of this strange chime. The cell phone.
"BASTARDS!!!!" she exclaimed as she picked up the phone to see who was calling. "Who could have done this? Who would have planted such an ugly and intrusive device on me when I was planning to have a lovely picnic?"
At the same time our Indigess reached inside the basket (lined neatly with a beautiful red and yellow cloth fabric and perfectly sorted food & utensils), her archnemesis cringed in fear.
He thought to himself, "This is the trickiest part of the operation. She will no doubt see right through this evil plot and rid the world of me and my goats, eh, followers once and for all. It's a good thing I planted that bag of Applewood Barbeque Smoked Cheddar potato chips to distract her from impending doom. I'm very smart," he quipped.
Or at least that's what he thought....
Being a typical goatherder, he underestimated the Indigo's keen sense of danger. Instead of even *considering* dipping into the deliciously yummmy bag of greasy, cheesy, barbecuey bag of chips, she reached right over them to grab her AK-47 and 3 hand grenades. Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop BOOM!! Pop Pop Pop BOOM!! Pop Pop BOOOOOOOOM!!!!
The Indigess blew up her enemy's hiding spot, taking out trees, flowers, fuzzy little animals, and anything else in its path. She ran over and grabbed the herder by the collar of the shirt. "WHO SENT YOU?" she demanded. The scoundrel trembled in fear and intimidation but said nothing. "I SAID, WHO SENT YOU?"
For a moment the Indigess waited for his answer. She took that opportunity to examine her perfectly styled and colored hair and clear skin in his sunglasses. Just after he soiled himself she threw his limp body to the ground where he lay a pathetic pile of drooling goat-poo.
"Pathetic," she whispered to the wind as she swung the AK-47 over her shoulder and walked back to her silver Porsche. Our heroine popped the trunk and put on her black leather cat-suit, stilettos, and black eye-liner. "An Indigo's work is never done," came out of her wine-red lips, as she popped the cap back on her lipstick and threw it back in her Vuitton bag. It was obvious who was behind all this mutany. Only one person would attempt such a brash attack, clearly a pathetic goatherding way of trying to underhand the perfect Libran Indigo.
The voluptuous and alluring combatant slid into her Porsche with the grace and sleekness of a cat. As she revved up the 3.2l 6-cylinder Boxer engine, an increasing surge of rage and violence initiated. Nothing pissed her off more than disrespectful herders and she just could not let this one go. Her jaw tensed, her heart began to race, and her fists clenched into impenetrable balls of fury. Prodigy resonated through her 5.1 Digitally Decoded Bose speakers. Her adrenaline began to rise and she KNEW it was time to kick some goat herder ass.
She immediately whipped out the Pink Glitter Emergency Indigo Phone and depressed the heart-shaped Call button. This was war. She was calling in the big dog, M-Dogg, to be precise.
Meanwhile....
Back at mDogg's perfectly zen, vanilla scented, japanese themed pad, mDogg was chillin' to the smooth sounds of Buddha Bar. "What a beautiful day to..." *ring ring* mDogg threw down the king cobra, lolled out of bed, and shuffled across the room in her pink sweatpants. "No one has the audacity to call this number - this can only mean one thing. My clever, beautiful, gorgeous, intelligent Indigo sister needs backup of the smart-mouthed goddess variety."
"mDogg, I'll be there in 10 minutes - make that 5 minutes. We have some serious goatherding ass to fuck up in a voodoo-themed way today. I'm right around the corner at Victoria's Secret getting supplies."
mDogg violently threw the cursed phone across the room. "BASTARDS!" She immediately smothered herself in Amber Romance, piped up Collide on full volume, slithered in to a black mini-skirt with thigh-high velvet stilettos, and strung together the black laced corset. Moments later the sweets sounds of thumping bass and screeching tires resonated from outside her window and mDogg swaggered outside as if on que.
As mDogg flipped her hair and put on her tinted Gucci sunglasses, she remarked, "Let's get the fuck out of here. I feel the need to bust some goatherding ass."
.... to be continued ...
Found this the other night while doing absolutely nothing on my computer for about an hour.
No whammies, no whammies! PRESS.... YOUR.... LUCK!
WARNING: I'm quite sure they've laced the site with either crack or porn. It's hard to stop.
The big news of California's State Quarter design was unveiled today. Woot. Bring in the expected sequence of events. And it plays out... If sunny CA already has their design (Awnold is WAY to excited about their lame-ass, whoop-dee-doo design in that picture), then Wisconsin *MUST* have their quarter. After all, we ARE further east (I use the word 'we' seeing as how I will forever be labeled the 'Wisconsinite' because I was born there. I've decided in my next life to be the... 'Goddess of Good Fortune & Beauty.' Has a nice ring to it, yeah?). Back to my story... big mistake Margaret. Big. Like a kid at Christmas, I wanted a sneak peek at the presents and wanted to shake them all up! Well folks, you guessed it. Like a kid at Christmas I promptly regretted it. Oh yes, I got mine. I found the design. Click on the thumbnail for a bigger version.
A cow people. A cow. What in the H*LL kind of quarter is that?
A pox on the cracked out individuals who thought this design was the best they could do.
A sexually transmitted pox on the derelicts who voted for this design.
Gather close, I have prepared a concise list of issues and possible solutions to the cluster-f*ck embarrassment that is Wisconsin's state quarter:
lucky bamboo plants | springtime | little birdies | green tea | shag art | the color pink | herbal logan remedy | window seat | kittens | thirsty stone coasters | vanilla scented candles | dragonfly/ladybug feather pillows | chinese calligraphic art (above my bed) | nag champa | doisneau | 2 new skins | vanilla lace | sketchbook | purple pilot pen | BCBG | chipotle chipc & guac | sunshine!
And now... March Music (most frequently played songs on sopheava.3 fm)
Sarah McLachlan - Time
Conjure One - Center of the Sun
Arabian Atmosphere - Kurdish Moon
Balligomingo - Wild Butterfly
Dido - Slide & Do You Have A Little Time
Peter Murphy - Things To Remember
Dilba - Beyond Life
Incubus - Here In My Room
Crowded House - Into Temptation
Melanie C - Why
Sarah Brightman - Free & Misere Mei
Annie Lennox - A Thousand Beautiful Things
Collide - Son of a Preacher Man
Madonna - Nothing Fails
Appleton - Everything Eventually